Bailey Fork

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:35pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Hey do you have a moment? (You are NOT in trouble.)”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:36pm] Bailey says, “For sure. What’s up?”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:37pm] Bailey says, “(I appreciate that added note there. I always assume I am in trouble whenever the principal wants to talk to me. )”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:39pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “So the thing is I’ve received a complaint, re: the Bailey-PriorFlame-NewDate triangle. And I’m slowly piecing together the IC timeline via your folks posted logs. But I’d like to know your side of the story. Can you tell me what is going on?”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:40pm] Bailey says, “Sure. I was hoping to try to avoid any messes that got up to your level and so have more or less just tried to detach ICly and OOCly and chalk it up to people just not being happy with how stories went. But here’s the basics (and I can provide more detail as needed)”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:43pm] Felidae (Mew) is listening.

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:45pm] Bailey says, “I worked out some pre-history with PriorFlame before we did any RP. PriorFlame was touring as a musician one summer doing rodeo gigs at the same time Bailey was, and they had a summer romance. We decided to RP some flash back scenes - we did them first running into each other, and we did a “goodbye” scene. As we were talking and starting to get a feel for each other as RPers, PriorFlame floated the idea of Bailey being FlamesChild’s father, but her keeping it a secret. It seemed the sort of idea that would lead to good story, and so I said i was willing to consider it, but suggested that we keep any actual references to it “off-screen” in case she decided later that she didn’t want Bailey to be attached to her character in such a personal way. We also discussed whether or not if we went that route if she had a specific preference for the two of them becoming a romantic couple in the present, and she said pretty emphatically that since the game was so new, she really wanted to keep options open, see who she got along with, and make RP decisions about the present organically. I said that was great, and I was fine with moving ahead with that. Especially since it left the door open down the road to a revelation but them being co-parenting friends, or whatever, or even just her changing her mind up until she puts into a scene that he is the father. Maximum flexibility for her. We decided to go with the “old friends” vibe.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:45pm] Bailey says, “(Sorry, was typing up a lot of it.)”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:46pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “No worries just wanted you to know i was still paying attention despite chattering on Chat.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:47pm] Bailey says, “We did a few scenes that kind of followed that vibe. Bailey stopped by before Christmas with a present for FlamesChild and a gift for PriorFlame. They had a nice chat. It was laden with that kind of melancholy feel to things - Bailey saying how awesome FlamesChild was without realizing she is his, PriorFlame kind of being wistful seeing how well he got on with her. he told her a super cheesy made up story about Santa. Honestly, they were just really really good scenes. But they had a ton of dramatic irony in them - Bailey saying he is sure PriorFlame will find a great person, PriorFlame posing thinking things like how she wishes that Bailey still wanted to be with him, regretting that they didn’t go on, etc.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:48pm] Bailey says, "There were maybe three or four scenes that followed that exact vibe. Bailey encouraging her to pursue her dreams of music which she gave up because of FlamesChild, etc. "

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:50pm] Bailey says, “Along the way there was a conversation about taking FlamesChild to the rodeo to see the horses, and he mentioned something about them going to the Nationals if they wanted. (This is relevant so that’s why I’m pointing it out.) She said it would cost a lot, he said they could stay with him, etc. There wasn’t anything sexual or romantic about it, it was more about FlamesChild seeing the rodeo. (There had been some off-color jokes over a kids head that were made about licking a spoon, but nothing serious.)”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:51pm] Bailey says, "Shortly after a few of those scenes, Bailey was in a scene with NewDate where the topic of the New Year’s Eve party came up. He said she should come,it’s open to everyone. She said she was too new, not in the pack yet, etc. So Bailey said she should come with him, and she said “are you asking me out” and he said “sure”. And then they made plans to go play pool. Nothing particularly serious, and it just came after a few scenes of banter they’d had. One was Bailey teaching her how to ride, another was dealing with a shifter who ran off into the hills. "

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:52pm] Bailey says, “This is when things went a bit off the rails.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:53pm] Felidae (Mew) pauses her mush client so she can read back the pages. Give me a moment or two.

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:58pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Ok. I’m caught up so far.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:03pm] Bailey says, “Ok, sorry, had a phone call come while I was paused. Writing up the rest now. I’ll make smaller blocks if you’d prefer.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:14pm] Bailey says, “Ok. So after the scene posted with Bailey asking NewDate to join him for NYE and go shoot pool, PriorFlame messaged me OOCly to tell me that she felt upset and blindsided that Bailey was asking someone else out. I told her that we had specifically discussed what she wanted as far as the present day vibe goes and she said she didn’t want them to be together, and she said “yeah, but I also don’t want Bailey to send up with someone else because that cuts off a possible future”. She told me that she would prefer that I not do any kind of possibly romantic storylines with another character OR tell them “you can date Bailey but you need to know to know that he is going to end up with PriorFlame because that’s the story we’re telling”. I told her that I wasn’t prepared to do that at the time, and reminded that I had offered to do that before I’d had those scenes with NewDate, and she said not to. I felt a bit frustrated at that and didn’t want to do that to another RPer. I told NewDate OOCly that there was potential IC drama that could come up and aske dif she wanted to know about it (I had already made the same offer previously because i realized the potential of RPing a relationship with someone and then discovering that they had a child ICly with someone else even if they didn’t know about it could be triggering, and I didn’t want her blindside.)”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:16pm] Bailey says, “NewDate basically said “IC breakups are good RP, if you decide to have Bailey get together with a high school sweetheart, just break up with NewDate and that’s fine, good story. Just don’t try to date both of them, I don’t want a love triangle.” I said that was fine, and told her that I wasn’t planning to do that, and given her preference would make absolutely certain that I wouldn’t do that. I also agreed to tell PriorFlame OOCly about anything that developed, because I was trying to be fair to her feelings even though it seemed a request I shouldn’t have had to do. There were no obligations or expectations of anything between PriorFlame and Bailey. And like I said, all of the RP was non-sexual/non-romantic, it was things like the two of them sitting watching a fire talking about the good ol days and how they miss it.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:18pm] Bailey says, “A bit of editorializing here - in my mind, this was very clear. Bailey and PriorFlame had a history, but were really good friends. NewDate was someone that Bailey was interested in. Once he had that first conversation with NewDate that asked her out, he never did anything romantic with PriorFlame. And so that’s what I was running with.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:18pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Can you do me a favor, if you are comfortable with it. Can you use the report function to send me the logs of you and PriorFlame talking about what she wanted re: your characters, and then also her paging you about being him dating NewDate?”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:18pm] Bailey says, “The latter was done over Discord, unfortunately.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:19pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Bleh, would you be willing to send me that log?”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:25pm] Bailey says, “While I think that log probably exonerates me way more than anything I could say otherwise, I feel kind of funny providing those kinds of things if the other person isn’t ok with it. I don’t want to cause any further drama with the players of PriorFlame or NewDate, or create any headaches for you, and I feel like things may just get messier. Are one of them suggestingg that I did something I shouldn’t have OOCly?”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:26pm] Bailey says, “I will say that all of my RP with both characters was one in shared scenes that are up, so there was no closed doors RP or anything like that. It’s kind of all public record.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:35pm] Bailey says, “Anyway. I guess to really bring it to a close from my perspective, Bailey had a scene where he kissed NewDate. I told PriorFlame before the log was shared. She told me she was upset. We were in a scene at the time that morphed quickly from her trying to tickle Bailey into her deciding she wanted “things to end” once that happened, and she said she didn’t want Bailey to be Vi’s father anymore, and I agreed that was for the best. She said I wasn’t trustworthy, etc, and we just agreed to end the conversation. I haven’t communicated with her OOCly since. I continued to RP with NewDate, since she had said nothing about anything, and we were just handling things ICly. Did the scene we had discussed for New Year’s Eve - a dinner interupted by a ghost from her past, she freaked out and ran away in a field, scene ended. We chatted a bit about a next scene, I said Bailey would probably drive by her van to make sure she got home safe. She said she had to do a planned scene with AnotherPlayer1 and AnotherPlayer2 for New Year’s Day breakfast and had some other scenes to coordinate, but we’d connect about another scene. That was the last OOC communication I had with NewDate’s player (in OOC comments at the end of the New Year’s Eve scene, RL happening on New Year’s Day).”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:38pm] Bailey says, "Then yesterday they posted up their “SceneTitleRedacted” scene where PriorFlame and NewDate discovered their common connection to Bailey. PriorFlame presented it to NewDate ICly as if Bailey was trying to romance her (he wasn’t, but again, fi that’s how PriorFlame feels her character interpreted, that’s IC, unreliable narrator and all that. NewDate told PriorFlame that he had invited her to join her at Nationals, which is what PriorFlame said he had said as well, and they both decided he was playing them both, etc. Not that it really matters (because again, it’s them being IC, unreliable narrator, etc) but Bailey had suggested NewDate join him in January to go to Denver. But either way, it was very clearly a scene for the two of them to come to a mutual understanding about Bailey and decide that he was horrible. "

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:41pm] Bailey says, “I hadn’t had any communication with NewDate after the New Year’s Eve scene, haven’t since then, I haven’t reached out. IC is IC, Bailey looks at it as she ran away on New Year’s Eve to deal with the trauma of her past, and she hasn’t reached out ICly, so he is just assuming she is working through her stuff. While he’d probably ICly as a character reach out to her after the couple of days to make sure she was ok, based around the scene in question that they posted I as a player felt that was a pretty clear sign, so I have not reached out to her OOCly to initiate any follow-up scenes. I figure if she has an interest in playing this out ICly as story, she’ll let me know, but I suspect that’s not the case. And so I figure it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, and not try to engage either of them.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:42pm] Bailey says, “Anyway. Sorry for all of the drama that landed in your lap. I thought the best way to handle it was just not reach out to either of them and let things lie, and they would move on, and I would move on, and we’d just tell our stories separately. If you’d prefer I do something else (or think this is too much drama too early in your game), I’d be happy to do whatever you ask, including rostering Bailey. I enjoy IC drama, not OOC drama, and the last thing I want to do is cause headaches for you.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:47pm] Bailey says, “In the interests of full full disclosure, I learned after doing a few scenes with PriorFlame that we had OOC history from another game. That may have played a role in this, it may not have, but I also don’t want to alt-reveal them (which is part of what was in the Discord conversation) unless they have chosen to alt-reveal themselves. (I’m really done now, sorry, unless you have other questions or want other things.)”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:50pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Sorry I got pulled afk for what I thought would be five minutes but was like 20”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 4:50pm] Bailey says, “Heh, I did the same thing to you, so no worries.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:02pm] Felidae (Mew) nodnods. “Ok. Thank you for giving me your side of the story. I still need to speak with PriorFlame about things.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:03pm] Bailey says, “Sure. Like I said, and I mean this honestly, if it’s easier for you for me to just roster Bailey and ride off into the sunset, I’m fine doing that.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:03pm] Bailey says, "I’m enjoying the RP and I like this game, but I don’t want to add to your stress level with any kind of OOC drama. "

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:05pm] Bailey says, “There’s a difference sometimes between what’s right vs wrong and what’s easy vs hard. I’m willing to do whatever is easiest for you.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:05pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Like, I’m still piecing everything together. Don’t worry about stressing me out. If one or more parties is maliciously misinterpreting things I will have not qualms about disinviting them from the game. But I’m trying to untangle everything from an outside perspective before jumping to any sort of snap conclusions.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:27pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “Okay, here’s the thing. I’ve spent the better part of three hours reviewing IC logs, reported conversations, and screen shots. Things you have told me are directly contradicted by things you have said to other people. So this isn’t something that was a misunderstanding. It is pretty clear to me that you were attempting to play the field and kept both PriorFlame and NewDate on the hook until you could decide who you wanted Bailey to be with.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:29pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “And you just admitted to me, from the beginning, that was what you were doing-- while I would have told you that was a shitty thing to do, I would have then simply told PriorFlame and NewDate to live and let live. However, I feel like you are either lying to me or attempting to massage the facts to manipulate me into seeing you as the victim here. And I’ve reached out to other people in the community and they have proven to me this is a pattern of behavior of yours.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:29pm] Felidae (Mew) says, “So at this point I’m going to disinvite you from the game.”

[Tue Jan 03, 2023 5:29pm] Bailey says, “Understood. My apologies.”