Liberation Drama!?

Gashlycrumb

Yes, and when I learned that it was genuinely intentional (or close enough that Siren would claim that it was) I left.

I am not sure why it’s being taken as a given that I’m still playing there. But then again it’s taken as a given that Siren gave a clear “no” for me to not take as an answer previous to refusing to respond. I’ve said otherwise.

What “more problems” did I cause?

Pavel

@Gashlycrumb said:

I am not sure why it’s being taken as a given that I’m still playing there.

It isn’t. You’re taking general suggestions and advice and treating them as immediate instructions.

@Gashlycrumb said:

What “more problems” did I cause?

I don’t know. You, yourself, said:

@Gashlycrumb said:

The player is gonna get cheesed off and it’s likely that they will, understandably, act like they’re cheesed off.

Which is what I’m going off of.

Gashlycrumb

@Pavel

It’s immediate instructions that assume I didn’t already do that, and imply later that because I didn’t, my uh, ‘moral superiority’ is broken.

That an ignored player will get cheesed off and the game is likely to feel it is a general truth that staffers should understand.

In this particular instance? I’d been logging in, taking the frustration hit, not bitching about it except to those who opened the bitch-session, reaching out every few months as either a nudge or a new thing, not RPing because it annoys other players if your PC doesn’t do what he says he’ll do ‘cause the +request won’t move. A lot of this had to do with the smooth transition between +jobs not getting done because they needed Sundance and she wasn’t there and +jobs being slow because of the backlog from that and my jobs not getting done when others’ were. This was the second time I had annoyed Siren by responding (no, not on the bb, I put my messages in requests or mail) to bbposts that implied reasonable turn-around times for jobs by pointing out my stale ones and asking what’s wrong, but the previous one was probably nearly a year ago and at least nine months. I just don’t think I was stinking up the place with my cheesed-offness, though it wouldn’t be odd if I had done.

Pavel

@Gashlycrumb said:

It’s immediate instructions that assume I didn’t already do that

No. No it isn’t. It’s literally not that at all. I wrote it, I know what it is.

Gashlycrumb

@Pavel Okay. It came across that way to me is all, then.

junipersky

Clarification is @gashlycrumb the person that was banned from the game in question or did I miss a plot point somewhere?

Pavel

@Gashlycrumb said:

@Pavel Okay. It came across that way to me is all, then.

Yes. Then you were told it wasn’t, and you insisted. That is what makes you frustrating to deal with. You don’t accept correction, and you assume everyone is operating with the same knowledge/belief/frame of reference as you.

That doesn’t excuse unprofessional behaviour.

Gashlycrumb

@Pavel Seems to me more like you just want to deny that it’s reasonable for me to have understood you the way I did.

I’d like to examine this more closely but I expect it would read to you as exactly what you’re complaining about,. I’ll take a run at it another way.

Pavel

@Gashlycrumb said:

Seems to me more like you just want to deny that it’s reasonable for me to have understood you the way I did.

It might have been reasonable the first time. But when I literally said

Pavel said:

You’re taking general suggestions and advice and treating them as immediate instructions.

That should have indicated to you that I was not giving you immediate instructions for a situation you are in, but instead giving advice and suggestions for a generalised genre of situations.

Multiple interpretations are frequently possible; I’m not the clearest of writers much of the time. But when I specifically correct your initial assumption, and your immediate reaction is to repeat it, that’s incredibly frustrating to deal with.

Kestrel

I don’t know Siren. But if I were in Siren’s shoes, reading this thread, I would likely conclude I was in the right not to engage with @gashlycrumb. Not based on any moral judgement, but just based on this seeming likely to result in more emotional energy than most people want to expend OOC.

I think it’s best to focus on outcomes over intentions. Specifically:

@Pavel said:
The best approach is to leave, not to cause more problems. Either the staffer is intentionally ignoring you, or their backlog is so bad that it’s negatively impacting you. Either way, you leave and hope for better elsewhere.

Ultimately does it really matter if the motive was malicious, abusive, absent-mindedness, laziness, apathy, exhaustion, avoidance, or anything else?

I recently left a game because I didn’t want to keep waiting around for staff to follow up on stuff. Genuinely no idea if they were busy, forgetful, distracted, or actually didn’t like me. I just didn’t want to be in that dynamic of feeling like a dog waiting at the dinner table for scraps, because it makes me feel like crap.

Forget about what staff was thinking, decide what you want/expect, and pick where to spend your energy accordingly.

Gashlycrumb

@Pavel said:

You’re taking general suggestions and advice and treating them as immediate instructions.

Huh. This is totally my bad because I misread this sentence. Not just misunderstanding what you meant, but what it actually says. I apologise.

@Kestrel

I can see why you’d see it that way and hope you mean based on just this thread and just from Siren’s shoes. The thing is that deciding not to engage with someone when you are their only GM in a GM-required game is bad practice even if they’re a problem player or even a bad person. Pre-emptively refusing to engage and thinking you dodged a bullet 'cause they snarl doesn’t seem right.

@Kestrel said:

Forget about what staff was thinking, decide what you want/expect, and pick where to spend your energy accordingly.

Good advice. Easily muddled if there are announcements made about how what you expect is what staff wants to give and will be forthcoming, please be patient etc. I am often naive that way.