Big stronk men that aren’t afraid of anything and meet every challenge with a funny quip and a devil-may-care attitude. It’s boring. Give me someone who actually lets their character have emotions and fears and worries. Characters that make mistakes and have to work through them. Characters that have awkward moments rather than having a smooth line for any situation. I love that shit so much.
I wish we could let go of this expectation of ‘constant content’ in the community. I think this is why a lot of very creative, talented people either try staffing and burn out or refuse to even dip a toe in because it becomes something of a grind to feel like you always must be doing ‘something’ creatively. Most creatives just don’t work that way, especially those of us that are neurodivergent. The well needs time to refill sometimes.
I love creating stories. I happily give up time doing other hobby activities to do so because I love this hobby so much, but, man, is it discouraging that any lull in activity is seen as a problem versus just a natural part of the ebb and flow of creative activity. Sometimes, I am going to GM four scenes in a week. Sometimes, I am going to take a couple of weeks to do other activities, either game related or not, to let my idea well refill. I just wish we could normalize that a little more.
This isn’t really spurred on by any specific thing that happened so much as thoughts after reading some articles regarding Twitch streaming and burnout and thinking about how often burn out happens in the MUSH community, too. I also acknowledge that I am probably preaching to the choir here.
Thought posing in a one on one scene in order to provide context and a glimpse of an interior life of the character is great. Thought posing in bar RP to be a snarky jerk without getting the consequences of being a snarky jerk is annoying and puts those players on my To Be Avoided list.
I’ve been in a real creative funk recently due to various issues but I read a journal today that was just refreshing in the sense of wonder over stories that I’ve been working on for years at this point. It reminded me why I do this and I think I might see a path out of this black cloud.
I had a liver biopsy last week because my numbers are terrible and some ultrasound scanning showed some worry spots. The results of the biopsy show no cirrhosis and no cancer which is such a relief. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for a week.
When someone presents a screed about how they have been so mistreated in a game’s community and how people have betrayed them and talked bad about them…
But conveniently leave out how they were engaging in at least one nasty whisper campaign against a player that chose not to engage in romantic/TS RP with them. And how they have also weaponized their personal feelings about players to make reports against them.
Cool, cool.
Who even gets to define what is ‘civil’ or not? According to old white men, if I dare to complain about being marginalized in any but the most self-effacing of ways, I’m not being civil. According to my ex husband, if I rightly demand that he takes responsibility for the two children he helped create in any but the most non-angry and non-confrontational way possible, I’m not being civil. According to the MSB crew, if I drop a cuss word while explaining my point, I’m not being civil.
Civility is a code for ‘don’t make a fuss because I don’t want to really have to consider your emotional state’. I am usually pretty considerate of the emotional state of others but I am done putting other people’s feelings over my own. If someone wants to stop listening to me because I cuss and my vocal tone is upset, then the likelihood is that they were never going to listen to me in the place.
I’m not the sort to relentlessly attack or be ‘uncivil’ to anyone that I just don’t like. If I don’t like you, I’m just going to ignore you. But if I am dealing with someone who is abusive or a subject that I care a whole lot about? Damn right that I cuss and get expressive.
My head getting that something isn’t personal and my ego not getting that memo.
@BurnNotice I am going to take a little time to recover from COVID and then there are lots of exciting things coming down the pipe.
By which I mean war. Lots and lots of war.
I cannot bring myself to care what anyone over there is saying or thinking about me. They’ve crafted their narrative that requires them to conduct as little self-reflection as possible, which makes sense. It’s really hard to admit when you are wrong!
I just don’t think that anyone should go over there and bother with them because it’s boring and a waste of time.
And lest people think I am a hypocrite that is upset because I got banned yet as staff of a game, I am not shy about using my own banhammer:
I’m not here because I am horrified about Ganymede having gone on a banning rampage (except when she banned @farfalla because Macha was being manipulative, that was super fucked up). I am not upset over being banned and I completely deserved mine. You do not call people clowns living in clown town and not expect to very soon lose access.
I am here because I think Derp and his current team are bad for the hobby. Victim shaming and whatever authoritarian power grab happened over there are some of the WORST aspects of this hobby and watching this happen in real time after hearing about it happening on various games is wild. I’m not mad over the bans. I’m mad that the worst the hobby has to offer has been given a safe space to continue to spread toxicity and ‘hide’ from the well-deserved consequences of their fucked up actions. (Looking right at you, Hella)
ADHD meds that are finally working. I’ve been sleeping better and more productive and feeling less utterly overwhelmed by my life.
I already had a foot out the door when Derp was made an admin because that guy’s bad faith arguments and unsubtle misogyny weren’t what I felt were good qualities in an admin. I was proven right on that way sooner than I expected, tbh. Ganymede being dumb enough to get taken by Macha’s social manipulation and then her inability to handle it when her chain of bad decisions blew up in her face convinced me that she’s not admin material either.
I didn’t care if my ban got reversed because I posted deliberately to get banned and I also wouldn’t go back even if it was. I am now more fascinated to see how it all works out for them going forward but more in the sense that I wonder if the dumpster fire is going to catch the adjacent building on fire than any actual concern. When I posted what I did to get banned, I was done and am still done.
Her seeking out TS (and yes, she was initiating that contact because I saw the fucking booty call messages that she sent unprompted) with a player that she not only tried to report (hence why she had a no contact request in about them) but one that was actively avoiding her because of said report to staff was as bad as anything Cullen or DwOPP had done and I feel very very comfortable putting her right in the same category as them.
@Solstice Sometimes, I think that those who push for ‘receipts’ the hardest aren’t really looking for ‘evidence’. They are looking for a reason to delegitimize the reporter because they aren’t the ‘right’ kind of victim.
@Meg said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
Yeah, the thing that these people don’t seem to understand is that it doesn’t matter who you are doing it to, but what you are doing.
I think it’s pretty telling when people make this assumption that only ‘perfect’ people can be victims. Being a victim doesn’t mean you cannot be an abuser. Being an abuser doesn’t mean you can’t be a victim.
@Testament I think that if someone is only interested in romantic RP, that is perfectly fine. The problem isn’t someone wanting the romance to play a big part in the story. It is about everyone being upfront about what they are looking for. If one person is mostly interested in playing out IC romance and the other is more interested in adventure, then that is just an incompatibility. I don’t think we need to go as far as to say that someone who wants to RP romantic plots is wrong. It’s just not what you want to do.
There is no TS so good that it is worth making yourself a creepy manipulator to try to get. Not even mine and I am fantastic.
Teaching my first college class tonight. I am so incredibly excited!
