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MU Peeves Thread
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@icanbeyourmuse I think the most important part there is probably to communicate well enough to have matching expectations, yeah.
But then, I’m cautious as hell because my life is too short for this kind of drama. I’ll never forget the girl who quit her job and booked tickets from Detroit to Denmark because she thought that her IC relationship with my partner was an OOC one.
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Apologies for interrupting the current thread but recent conversation has INSPIRED ME to ask about this.
For those of you who like OOC rooms/lounges…WHY? I hate them a lot so it’s just very hard for me to understand. The socialization aspect, tossing around story and RP ideas, etc., seems like it’d be so much better to happen on public channels, so that people can be involved even if they’re out on the grid RPing? It just seems like, if you have a culture where game stuff has a gridded OOC space where this sort of discussion happens, that – it’d kind of discourage leaving the room to RP? Because what if you missed out on getting involved in stuff?
Idk. Please convince me. (I mean, don’t actually. I just want to understand.)
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“This IC relationship is a stand-in for RL companionship” is pervasive in the hobby.
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@Roz On games that have OOC lounges I never used them, preferring to be on the grid.
On Ares games, I tend to be in whatever temp room I left my char in. But Ares is different from the older codebases in that regard – you can be in a dozen scenes at the same time and meeting others by wandering the grid is rarely a thing. Also because Ares games tend to be fairly small population-wise.
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@L-B-Heuschkel Totally! First thing I bring up with people wo want ‘romance’ with me is that I am not into polyamorous, despite my choice to play hookers and such. I always feel expectations for any long term relationships that are romantically inclined (be it political, love relationships, friends with benefits, etc) should have what each person wants from it set out from the start. Friendships, parental, sibling, child, co-workers, etc don’t necessarily need such discussions but I definitely think anything that will be intimate should be laid out from the start so no one is surprised when it is not exactly what they want.
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@Roz For me it is more of a gateway to CG or staff rooms. I also find it a good place for people to be ‘ooc’ should they not be in the mood to RP or anything. Though, for me, it is not a deal breaker not to have OOC rooms. More of a convenience? To be fair, it could be a hold over from the old days since they were, once upon a time, very common.
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@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
Apologies for interrupting the current thread but recent conversation has INSPIRED ME to ask about this.
For those of you who like OOC rooms/lounges…WHY? I hate them a lot so it’s just very hard for me to understand. The socialization aspect, tossing around story and RP ideas, etc., seems like it’d be so much better to happen on public channels, so that people can be involved even if they’re out on the grid RPing? It just seems like, if you have a culture where game stuff has a gridded OOC space where this sort of discussion happens, that – it’d kind of discourage leaving the room to RP? Because what if you missed out on getting involved in stuff?
Idk. Please convince me. (I mean, don’t actually. I just want to understand.)
I have thought about this in the past and have had two suppositions:
- Convention: It was just a thing in many early games, especially ones that for whatever reason did not have channels.
- I’m This Character: I’ve noticed that some people choose to present as their character for both IC and OOC purposes. I sort of do this myself, though it’s less that I feel like I want people to associate with me OOCly through the avatar of my character and more that I have a near zero tolerance for breaching my identity firewall.
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@icanbeyourmuse Same, re: the poly thing. I’m not judging – people should play however they like. I suspect that a lot of people play poly characters at least in part because that way, they feel less stranded if a partner leaves, and less glued to only one person.
For me, though, it’s just not a story I’m really interested in telling.
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I LOVE poly ships but you definitely have to do work to make it work because characters emotionally invest differently in different people, and there’s excellent story meat there, but it means I get to ship with more than one of my friends at a time so–
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@sao Totally! Nothing wrong with people who like them. If people can make it work I’m happy for them to get what they want. I /can/ play polyamorous types (see the fact I prefer playing hookers). I just don’t often have fun with it.
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@shit-piss-love said in MU Peeves Thread:
- I’m This Character: I’ve noticed that some people choose to present as their character for both IC and OOC purposes. I sort of do this myself, though it’s less that I feel like I want people to associate with me OOCly through the avatar of my character and more that I have a near zero tolerance for breaching my identity firewall.
People just do this on channels tho
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@icanbeyourmuse I understand the point you’re making but it’s a little uncomfortable that your reasoning here is equating polyamorous people with sex workers
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@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
@shit-piss-love said in MU Peeves Thread:
- I’m This Character: I’ve noticed that some people choose to present as their character for both IC and OOC purposes. I sort of do this myself, though it’s less that I feel like I want people to associate with me OOCly through the avatar of my character and more that I have a near zero tolerance for breaching my identity firewall.
People just do this on channels tho
Totally. I think what I mean is that for some people, they want to like, be their character hanging out with other people’s characters in an OOC fashion rather than being their character talking on a channel while at the same time playing. I’m just trying to be careful with what I’m saying because I don’t want to go visiting someone’s intentions out of turn.
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I think OOC rooms are just a relic of an older time. I don’t like or dislike them, I think if anything, it’s another option. But then again, I also like Idle room that cut off all communication except for pages. So I want to be on the game, but I’m currently in the middle of something else.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@sao Its the only ‘clear cut’ polyamorous type I know off hand. My brain can only think of so many things on the spot. I mean, most monogamous relationships in my head are ‘marriages’. I /know/ they are not the only ones. When I am trying to be clear I use the most ‘known’ association. So, monogamy I would say ‘marriage’ as an example and unless I am spending time to consider options, courtesans/hookers/etc are my ‘quick’ got to for polyamory. I mean if you go with ‘mainstream’ polyamorous is basically polygamy. As I’ve said previously, many of the people I seem to end up around are poly and want relationships as such (the closer ones make exceptions for me and I attempt to make exceptions for them in return)
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
I think OOC rooms are just a relic of an older time. I don’t like or dislike them, I think if anything, it’s another option. But then again, I also like Idle room that cut off all communication except for pages. So I want to be on the game, but I’m currently in the middle of something else.
Yeah I think some of it is definitely convention. I got my start in the wider hobby of online RP through the DALnet IRC network in the early 90s. In there it was common, since it was often a single channel, for there to be a drifting in and out of IC/OOC and when people would be in “OOC mode” they were still their characters.
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@icanbeyourmuse Not to get too off track, but sex work doesn’t make someone poly. Sex workers can be monogamous. It’s just a job it has nothing to do with their relationship preferences. Polyamory is about romantic relationships. Also just as a note, the term ‘hooker’ is not preferred by full service sex workers.
as previously stated, good day.
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@farfalla said in MU Peeves Thread:
@icanbeyourmuse Not to get too off track, but sex work doesn’t make someone poly. Sex workers can be monogamous. It’s just a job it has nothing to do with their relationship preferences. Polyamory is about romantic relationships. Also just as a note, the term ‘hooker’ is not preferred by full service sex workers.
I know a lot of sex workers. Almost all of them are in monogamous relationships. They’re not “dating” the people they go on dates with in the same way that therapists are not friends with their patients. (There’s actually a ton of parallel in those two professions but that’s a whole other topic.)
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These misunderstandings are a big part of why I was NO PLS about sex work as a job on Arx. Even well meaning people don’t always handle it kindly.
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@farfalla said in MU Peeves Thread:
Also just as a note, the term ‘hooker’ is not preferred by full service sex workers.
That’s definitely a regional/cultural thing. It’s widely used in the community out here.
“The community” meaning the sex-work community.
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