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MU Peeves Thread
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I had one of those sleepless nights where old stuff finishes ruminating in your mind and finally bubbles to the surface. Now to unload it so I can go on to other ruminations.
Red flags. I’ve had a few experiences in this hobby with people who I would, without being a medical professional, definitely armchair diagnose as malignant narcissists at worst – and players who use and discard other players like NPCs at best.
If somebody says this to you in a private conversation, run.
“I have a black belt in charm.”
“I am/we are the darlings/power couple of the game.”
“I can win anyone over.”
“Many players are jealous of my success but I know you’re different.”
“I play for me, others will have to find their own fun.”And other things like them, I’m sure.
These statements aren’t all one hundred per cent wrong: We are all responsible for finding our own fun instead of having it served up on a plate, for example.
But they’re also all direct quotes from people who – well, let’s just say that I don’t need to talk to any of those people again.
Any pronouns. Come to Chincoteague. We have ponies. http://keys.aresmush.com
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@L-B-Heuschkel said in MU Peeves Thread:
“I play for me, others will have to find their own fun.”
I gotta say, it’s exhausting how many people you run into like that who actually mean “I am only here for my own fun,” and when you find that out the hard way after an extended period of one-sided effort there’s really nothing to be done about it.
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@Wizz said in MU Peeves Thread:
@L-B-Heuschkel said in MU Peeves Thread:
“I play for me, others will have to find their own fun.”
I gotta say, it’s exhausting how many people you run into like that who actually mean “I am only here for my own fun,” and when you find that out the hard way after an extended period of one-sided effort there’s really nothing to be done about it.
Exactly. We’re all responsible for creating our own fun but what this really means is, I will use you until I get bored and then I’ll throw you away like a used scumbag.
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My peeve is that I have a solid bucket full of people I would like to have nice quiet one-on-one scenes with. But these people are also exceptionally busy people. I don’t really want to advance plot - I just want to hang out with them IC.
Also, I have to schedule my scenes now otherwise I get home from work and just want to curl up with a book.
But they are busy and I feel selfish asking, “hey can we schedule time to shoot the breeze IC, not really about anything. Just a playdate.”
So I don’t.
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@junipersky You should ask them though! Every single person who RPs enjoys hearing “I like your writing and want to hang out.” It’s nice to not be “needed” for some kind of function, and I think you might be surprised how receptive people are to scheduling a low key play date.
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@junipersky I mean, anytime. XD
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I hate having every reason to RP and never feeling well enough to actually do so without disappointing someone.
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@Dreampipe said in MU Peeves Thread:
I hate having every reason to RP and never feeling well enough to actually do so without disappointing someone.
^^^^ This. This is how things has gone for me all year. I fit them in where I can, but there are so many balls I know I am dropping.
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I know that my game is very slow moving, and the players on it have been very understanding while I haven’t been around. It’s just been kind of a mental hurdle to get back into a creative GM flow after all the wedding stuff is now over. It’s like going 100 mph, leaving with no real time to think and once it’s all over it feels so weird.
I think I actually GM’d better and was more creative when I was in a high-stress state.
Why can’t I relax and be creative instead of being stressed and creative?
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
Why can’t I relax and be creative instead of being stressed and creative?
Interestingly some research (Byron et al., 2010) has found that a certain level of a certain kind of stress can increase creativity - especially when the evaluatory nature of the stress is not linked to the creative exploit itself. Wedding stress being evaluated on the benefits of the wedding, rather than the output of your GMing.
Now, however, I would say that you’re changing the orientation of the evaluator onto your GMing output, thereby maintaining the stress but decreasing creative output (Ghafoor & Haar, 2021).
ETA: All this to say, it’s not your fault and anyone who says otherwise needs to STFU, including yourself.
References:
Byron, K., Khazanchi, S., & Nazarian, D. (2010). The relationship between stressors and creativity: A meta-analysis examining competing theoretical models. Journal of Applied Psychology, 95(1), 201–212. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017868Ghafoor, A., & Haar, J. (2021). Does job stress enhance employee creativity? Exploring the role of psychological capital. Personnel Review, (Ahead of Print). https://doi.org/10.1108/pr-08-2019-0443
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Yo, your game is fine, it’ll be there when you’re in the proper headspace.
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Just expressing a sigh of frustration at dancing around publicly asking for RP on a game when there are one or two people I just cannot fucking stand (not going to be spilling any tea here, sorry, my beefs are my own business) who seem to be omnipresent when I do so, and worse, tied up with a number of people I want to play with.
After a while it just gets fatiguing and this feels like was somewhat easier in the days of big games and lots of them (I fully welcome all accusations of rose-tinted glasses though har har).
Ok, back to Fat Bear Week.
I woke up feeling so good, I think I’d better call in sick/ I need a personal trainer to help me hold my drink
I plan to be spontaneous next time we meet/I’m putting off procrastinating until next week
I’ll get onto it when I give a shit -
@SpaceKhomeini Having to avoid somebody is a pain in the backside, particularly when they are a super charming, very popular player with great people skills – and an asshole but people never see that until it’s too late.
At which point you start to realise that your circle comprises a lot of other people they’ve been an asshole to.
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I wish we could let go of this expectation of ‘constant content’ in the community. I think this is why a lot of very creative, talented people either try staffing and burn out or refuse to even dip a toe in because it becomes something of a grind to feel like you always must be doing ‘something’ creatively. Most creatives just don’t work that way, especially those of us that are neurodivergent. The well needs time to refill sometimes.
I love creating stories. I happily give up time doing other hobby activities to do so because I love this hobby so much, but, man, is it discouraging that any lull in activity is seen as a problem versus just a natural part of the ebb and flow of creative activity. Sometimes, I am going to GM four scenes in a week. Sometimes, I am going to take a couple of weeks to do other activities, either game related or not, to let my idea well refill. I just wish we could normalize that a little more.
This isn’t really spurred on by any specific thing that happened so much as thoughts after reading some articles regarding Twitch streaming and burnout and thinking about how often burn out happens in the MUSH community, too. I also acknowledge that I am probably preaching to the choir here.
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@Herja If I ran a MU or ever took on a staff role I’d mandate a policy of 4 months for staff roleplay runners. Do some stuff, have fun, have an end in sight. Have a break of a few months and do it again.
I hate planning scenes in advance because guaranteed I won’t feel like running anything on the night.
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@oknow I think that encouraging staff take breaks when needed and not making them feel like that is a problem or need any ‘excuse’ for it is a good thing, but I think there is also a component that requires setting player expectations that a MU is not a 24/7 entertainment service, especially when you pay nothing but the internet bill to access it. I definitely don’t think that making MUs a paid service is the answer because I don’t think adding capitalism to anything actually improves it.
lol lmao
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Planning a scene in advance is one of those things that’s like a necessary evil. As soon as scheduling gets involved my ADHD also gets involved and that’s the best way to turn something fun into a chore, but also you can’t just always do stuff on the spur of the moment, especially when there’s a lot of players across all timezones.
But also, it is VERY true that GMs as constant story generation is a truly exhausting proposition that no GMs can or should have to do. I know patience is hard but like. There’s no RP emergency. Ever. And the GM is every bit as human as the player and their boundaries should be respected. I wish I knew how to like, reduce the seeming priority of every RP thing under the sun.
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@Herja I think it’s taken almost as a sign of disinterest from the game-runners which isn’t at all how it should be. Sometimes, I just need a break. Sometimes I don’t have any ideas. Sometimes I just want to play my own game for awhile! It doesn’t mean that I want to shut the whole thing down and be done with it.
I don’t know what the solution is, just that it makes it really hard to run a game if I know that once I need a break, people are just going to fade away and not log in anymore.
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@bear_necessities Yes, this exactly. I am always thinking about my game and working through story arcs in my head but I don’t always have the energy or the desire to GM. Sometimes, I’m just busy or need to do something else but I’m still interested! It just sucks when the need for a break, and I’m talking on a regular basis not just after I’m become so burned out that I HAVE to take a break, is taken like a game is ‘dying’ or that things are ‘slow’ like that is a bad thing and a negative indicator of the game’s health.
