Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Real life happy
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It’s raining. Finally like real, solid rain. And it’s washed all the smoke and dust away, and the air is so sweet and clean I can’t really describe it. But I am definitely following the advice of the smoke map notice.
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I am happy and eternally grateful to the wider MU* community for being the reason I went and got myself an ADHD diagnosis just over a year ago today, and the chain reaction this has set off to finally feeling like I’m able to pursue the dreams I’d given up a decade ago. I never had any idea that life could be as easy as it is now.
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The second toe of my left foot is involuntarily twitching. I could stop it by clenching, but I don’t want to because it’s funny watching it stay straight as an arrow while flicking up and down like an invisible elf thinks my toe is the light switch.
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I rarely to never at the shelter as late as I was today. Husband almost never wants Nepali food. We usually fill up the gas tank at 150 miles (the gage is broken, so we used the trip meter to know when to fill up) but accidentally pushed it to 170. I NEVER go to that particular gas station because it is in a BAD part of town. Finally, I never pay with cash, but had to this time because I left my wallet at school.
But all those things happened and it was a good thing. Walking in to pay I see a teenager sitting outside that looks familiar. I’m white and very open about the fact that I sometimes get people of color mixed up so I start Apologizing for being creepy and staring when the person says, “It’s me Ms.” And it WAS her. One of my former students who started high school. She had gotten lost trying to get to an aunt’s house. Her phone was dead and she was scared shitless. So I gave her my phone to call her mom, and then sat with her till her mom got there. I’m glad I did too because it is NOT a good area of town. Some men asked if we were there to buy (didn’t specify what, but we can all make a safe assumption it wasn’t legal) and some other creeps came to try to chat her up. They left when they realized I was there with her. Took her mom about 45 minutes to get there.
This is the kind of experience that makes me believe in the divine. Too many coincidences.
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The inordinate amount of time I’ve wasted obsessing over numbers going up in idle incremental games has started unexpectedly paying off, with all the pointless math it taught me suddenly relevant to the MSc I’m working on.
I wish I could say the same for the time I’ve spent on MU*, which has taught me the polar opposite of a useful writing style.
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Took a half day from work to help trap some ferals. Ended up with 4 of the 10 cats. Didn’t see any kittens alas, but we left some traps up and we’re hoping maybe some others pop up.
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The tiny little mirp a kitty makes when woken up.
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I was going to put this in my vent but I didn’t want it tainted, with that. The good things.
I worked a very stressful job for years. I set a standard with it. I ran a team of about 150-200 people. I fought ‘the boys club’ and held my own. However, this did not come without a cost. I LIVED my job. I was there 50-70 hours. It was toxic. I could never do it right. I had to work six times harder. My solutions were not solutions. My obstacles were excuses. Then I made the scary decision to quit my job (which I posted here) to give myself a ‘work/life’ balance. I took a pay cut to do this.
Well, I’ve been doing this new job almost 90 days now. So for my check-in. I’m good with this. The culture is very focused on mental health. I’m praised for my strengths. I’m encouraged to give my thoughts and feedback. They are great at saying I’m valued. I’ve been waiting for the shoe to drop, but there isn’t any shoes. This is how it is.
I’m traveling more. I have a few weekends off here and there. I’m going out and reconnecting with my friends and my family more. I just want to check in and say – it was a good choice.
If you are uncertain in something like this. Take the leap. Go on the trip. Do the thing. I’ve been able to decrease anxiety medications. I almost feel like myself again (more on that in other threads), but it was a GREAT decision and my finances have taken care of themselves too.
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Had a down morning and couldn’t get out of the rut but then:
@Tez smashed my brain weasels and made the sun come out.
Two people got their orders and were happy about their stuff.
My mom came over and had tea with me.
My son’s occupational therapist continues to advocate for my child and it’s so fucking humbling.
I cleaned my kitchen.
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In the midst of the chaos that is my life, I have received (and accepted) a job offer with a life changing salary, 3/4ths full time hours, with my old boss that got fired from my current job (and two of my other former coworkers I miss more than I would my arm if it got cut off). Doing the work I’m good at (that has been taken away from me at the tribe itself) with people that actively need MY specific brand of help, not just a warm body.
The start date is quite a ways off (I don’t want to leave the tribe out in the cold), but I have one. I’ve never made anywhere near this much money. I’m gonna be able to --even with my medical challenges-- get my white picket fences, a working car, and pay off all my years of medical bills.
It’s really hard to believe it’s gonna happen, but if it does…damn.
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LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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In Occam I trust.
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@Coin I’ve learned you’re never too old to use a trophy as a dick. These are important life lessons.
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God, I feel awful today. Weak as a kitten. It’s so weird. It’s not the kind of weakness that goes with being tired; it’s like my strength is there but I just can’t access it, like I have a mental block against moving. This is the strangest thing. It’s almost like I’m depressed or somethohhhhhhhhhhhh.
I’m calling this a good thing, though, because it’s been so long since a depression of this level that I couldn’t recognize it any more. It has become a stranger to me. That’s not nothing.
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@GF That’s not nothing for sure! I’m glad you are at least able to recognize what that means for you and I hope you can find some improvement.
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Getting to buy a book for my boyfriend’s daughter that was written by an old mush friend who writes (very well received) young adult fiction these days. Not only that, but she really likes it so far (“this is just like SKYWARD”) and I am gonna earn SO MANY cool points when I finally tell her I know the person who wrote it.
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I TOOK HER TO THE ZOO TODAY. It was just us. It was AMAZING.
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it me again
new job a+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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So, while I’m getting a little self-conscious that I’m posting like eleventy billion times in a row…hopefully this amuses somebody enough that it’s reasonable to post it.
Last night, I had errands to run after work. I stopped at a variety of stores, and finally arrived at one that did not have an automatic door. I stopped, I looked at the door. I pulled my keychain out of my pocket, and I clicked the ‘unlock’ button at the door. I waited several seconds, expecting the door to open.
It did not open.
I realized my mistake, put my keys back into my pocket, and looked around. No one had witnessed my shame.
Whew.
Did I just go to bed, when I got home? Admit that my day had defeated me, and crawled beneath my ELECTRIC BLANKET to drift off to dreamland?
Of course not.
Instead, I played my game. And I went to the furthest corner of the most sprawling map, and I did a quest there. Then, I teleported back to the hub. I was talking to a friend at the time, so I ran out of the hub on auto pilot…all the way back to exactly the same spot I had been in before I had teleported, instead of going through the gate on the other side.
At that point, I finally realized that I had exhausted my brainpower, and it was time to go to bed.
tl;dr: my new job is using my brain in a way that it hasn’t been used for about a year, and my brain is tired, and I am tired, but it’s a GOOD tired, instead of the terrible sort. I am doing GOOD WORK and it is the most incredible feeling.
