Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Real life happy
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The tiny little mirp a kitty makes when woken up.
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I was going to put this in my vent but I didn’t want it tainted, with that. The good things.
I worked a very stressful job for years. I set a standard with it. I ran a team of about 150-200 people. I fought ‘the boys club’ and held my own. However, this did not come without a cost. I LIVED my job. I was there 50-70 hours. It was toxic. I could never do it right. I had to work six times harder. My solutions were not solutions. My obstacles were excuses. Then I made the scary decision to quit my job (which I posted here) to give myself a ‘work/life’ balance. I took a pay cut to do this.
Well, I’ve been doing this new job almost 90 days now. So for my check-in. I’m good with this. The culture is very focused on mental health. I’m praised for my strengths. I’m encouraged to give my thoughts and feedback. They are great at saying I’m valued. I’ve been waiting for the shoe to drop, but there isn’t any shoes. This is how it is.
I’m traveling more. I have a few weekends off here and there. I’m going out and reconnecting with my friends and my family more. I just want to check in and say – it was a good choice.
If you are uncertain in something like this. Take the leap. Go on the trip. Do the thing. I’ve been able to decrease anxiety medications. I almost feel like myself again (more on that in other threads), but it was a GREAT decision and my finances have taken care of themselves too.
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Had a down morning and couldn’t get out of the rut but then:
@Tez smashed my brain weasels and made the sun come out.
Two people got their orders and were happy about their stuff.
My mom came over and had tea with me.
My son’s occupational therapist continues to advocate for my child and it’s so fucking humbling.
I cleaned my kitchen.
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In the midst of the chaos that is my life, I have received (and accepted) a job offer with a life changing salary, 3/4ths full time hours, with my old boss that got fired from my current job (and two of my other former coworkers I miss more than I would my arm if it got cut off). Doing the work I’m good at (that has been taken away from me at the tribe itself) with people that actively need MY specific brand of help, not just a warm body.
The start date is quite a ways off (I don’t want to leave the tribe out in the cold), but I have one. I’ve never made anywhere near this much money. I’m gonna be able to --even with my medical challenges-- get my white picket fences, a working car, and pay off all my years of medical bills.
It’s really hard to believe it’s gonna happen, but if it does…damn.
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LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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In Occam I trust.
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@Coin I’ve learned you’re never too old to use a trophy as a dick. These are important life lessons.
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God, I feel awful today. Weak as a kitten. It’s so weird. It’s not the kind of weakness that goes with being tired; it’s like my strength is there but I just can’t access it, like I have a mental block against moving. This is the strangest thing. It’s almost like I’m depressed or somethohhhhhhhhhhhh.
I’m calling this a good thing, though, because it’s been so long since a depression of this level that I couldn’t recognize it any more. It has become a stranger to me. That’s not nothing.
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@GF That’s not nothing for sure! I’m glad you are at least able to recognize what that means for you and I hope you can find some improvement.
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Getting to buy a book for my boyfriend’s daughter that was written by an old mush friend who writes (very well received) young adult fiction these days. Not only that, but she really likes it so far (“this is just like SKYWARD”) and I am gonna earn SO MANY cool points when I finally tell her I know the person who wrote it.
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I TOOK HER TO THE ZOO TODAY. It was just us. It was AMAZING.
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it me again
new job a+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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So, while I’m getting a little self-conscious that I’m posting like eleventy billion times in a row…hopefully this amuses somebody enough that it’s reasonable to post it.
Last night, I had errands to run after work. I stopped at a variety of stores, and finally arrived at one that did not have an automatic door. I stopped, I looked at the door. I pulled my keychain out of my pocket, and I clicked the ‘unlock’ button at the door. I waited several seconds, expecting the door to open.
It did not open.
I realized my mistake, put my keys back into my pocket, and looked around. No one had witnessed my shame.
Whew.
Did I just go to bed, when I got home? Admit that my day had defeated me, and crawled beneath my ELECTRIC BLANKET to drift off to dreamland?
Of course not.
Instead, I played my game. And I went to the furthest corner of the most sprawling map, and I did a quest there. Then, I teleported back to the hub. I was talking to a friend at the time, so I ran out of the hub on auto pilot…all the way back to exactly the same spot I had been in before I had teleported, instead of going through the gate on the other side.
At that point, I finally realized that I had exhausted my brainpower, and it was time to go to bed.
tl;dr: my new job is using my brain in a way that it hasn’t been used for about a year, and my brain is tired, and I am tired, but it’s a GOOD tired, instead of the terrible sort. I am doing GOOD WORK and it is the most incredible feeling.
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To counter my RP Peeve… a RL Happy.
The day before Christmas, during the cold snap, my HVAC was having issues. It wouldn’t go above 59 and nothing I did brought it up. I also got Covid this weekend. I called the installation company that also does the service for help after making sure the Covid issue wasn’t going to be an issue on their website (it was) and if they could come out. I didn’t have an active service plan in place but I had been working on it prior to the issue cropping up. We just hadn’t finalized the details. They refused to come out. I bought a space heater and fretted out the week that they were closed because they were out for the entirety of Christmas week. I fretted all week long, thinking I’d have to sacrifice the rest of my bonus and an arm and a leg to the HVAC gods to get it fixed.
I know, I know, this all sounds bad so far… The space heater got the house through the cold snap and the heater worked when the temps warmed up. I got the service agreement in place and a service scheduled for last Friday. As it turns out, the issue with the heater wasn’t anything mechanical. When they changed out the thermostat a year and a half ago, they had wired it wrong. So, not only did I get my HVAC serviced, but the fix to the heater issue was free of charge since, while it was out of warranty, it was their fault to begin with since they were the ones to wire it up.
So, what might have been a financial disaster for me, ended up being a nice start to 2023 instead. And, behind that, I got news that one of my close friends with Stage 4 cancer has exceptionally good numbers leading into her debulking surgery and she might actually be looking at a long, long life if all goes well with that and the chemo following it.
More of that please.
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I am at new job now.
My poor brain hasn’t been used like this in years, but that’s not a complaint.
I am ridiculously, ridiculously, stupidly, incredibly happy that I can sleep in in the mornings, and do work at 10PM at night if I feel like it. Not only is it OK, but I am NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON MY TEAM TO DO THIS.
eta: also I officially have permission to contract MY assistant person from my last job. He is to me what I am to my boss – fills in my gaps and makes my job possible, so getting him on board in going to be HUGELY helpful.
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So had to move teams at work due to some odd things. On my new team, already killing it this year! Beating my old team lead in sales, showing being a team player and positive works! Feel like a Rockstar!
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I looked at what was left for me to pay off on my car and realized that I had enough saved in my ‘car care’ account (for insurance, maintenance, unexpected repairs, and down payment toward the next car) to cover everything but a catastrophic event AND be able to pay off the car.
So I did it, and it makes me happy. The only debt we have now is the house and I’ve now saved the money I would have spent on interest.
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I haven’t had a panic attack (or even the threat of one) in almost three weeks since I started my newest medication. The absence of that is like being able to breathe again. I hope it keeps up this way.
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After going to various therapists over my life, I eventually stopped a couple years ago because I was tired of talking to someone when it felt like anything I talked about they didn’t hear. Or didn’t care about. So I stopped going. My wife, knowing that my own struggle with depression has been a constant battle in my head, pleaded that I go back. And even suggested a therapist that works for her therapist. Eventually, I agreed, because I know it was the best thing to do, despite my reservation on it.
So the first thing I noted is that my therapist looks exactly like me. It was strange having a doppleganger as your therapist, but oddly fitting in some way. Like a more well-adjusted more successful version of yourself talking to you.
And finally, he gave me a proper diagnosis. Persistent Depressive Disorder. Which I’ve learned used to be called Dysthymia. But my reason for posting this is here, is that it’s good to be told something other than “Well, you’re depressed.” No fucking shit, I know that, but what can I do about it beyond think things that I’m terrible at and how I’ll never actually be better than I am.
Being given this give context to things. It partially answers the ‘Why’ question I ask literally everything in life. Why. I feel like this therapist acatually gives a shit about my emotional health. And I really appreciate that. So. That’s good.
It’s good.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament said in Real life happy:
After going to various therapists over my life, I eventually stopped a couple years ago because I was tired of talking to someone when it felt like anything I talked about they didn’t hear. Or didn’t care about. So I stopped going. My wife, knowing that my own struggle with depression has been a constant battle in my head, pleaded that I go back. And even suggested a therapist that works for her therapist. Eventually, I agreed, because I know it was the best thing to do, despite my reservation on it.
So the first thing I noted is that my therapist looks exactly like me. It was strange having a doppleganger as your therapist, but oddly fitting in some way. Like a more well-adjusted more successful version of yourself talking to you.
And finally, he gave me a proper diagnosis. Persistent Depressive Disorder. Which I’ve learned used to be called Dysthymia. But my reason for posting this is here, is that it’s good to be told something other than “Well, you’re depressed.” No fucking shit, I know that, but what can I do about it beyond think things that I’m terrible at and how I’ll never actually be better than I am.
Being given this give context to things. It partially answers the ‘Why’ question I ask literally everything in life. Why. I feel like this therapist acatually gives a shit about my emotional health. And I really appreciate that. So. That’s good.
It’s good.
I have dysthymia. It’s good to get help. When I was ready my therapist referred me to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed my dysthymia as probably stemming from an anxiety disorder, and prescribed me meds which have, over the course of the past 6-8 months, slowly helped me gain some control over my brain.
My room is still a fucking mess.
But my brain is better, which means I can tackle the rest.
In Occam I trust.
