Don’t forget we moved!
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RL Peeves
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Went in to the office yesterday physically. I love my work family VERY MUCH, but it takes anyone all of two seconds looking at my face to know I’m in hell right now, and trying to figure out how much people actually want to know when variations on the dreaded, “How are you?” comes up is like a field of landmines.
Even telling people the good stuff results in uncomfortable questions, and I’m at a point where my ‘fine’ or perky ‘doing good!’ isn’t fooling anybody. ‘Things are rough but I’m managing’ just prompts for details. It doesn’t help that my immediate team was very free with info initially (to ensure I got the space I need) so people like, know what to ask.
hate this. I hate wearing my heart on my sleeve and I hate having an expressive face and I hate being so easy to read. I just want everyone to be normal at me.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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@IoleRae Ugh I’m sorry. I find that “Hangin’ in there!” can be a decent one to kind of communicate – “I’m not trying to pretend I’m 100%” but maybe doesn’t invite questions as much?
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@IoleRae This is my usual go-to lately.
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Even telling people the good stuff results in uncomfortable questions, and I’m at a point where my ‘fine’ or perky ‘doing good!’ isn’t fooling anybody. ‘Things are rough but I’m managing’ just prompts for details.
When someone asks me how I am in a situation where I can’t be honest and I want to discourage them from asking more, I usually answer, “It doesn’t matter.” That doesn’t sound like quite the vibe you’re going for, though.
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@IoleRae I can relate. Im not in a good place right now at all and there is just no masking sentiments of joy. I do not have the energy. But, I’ve taken an approach where I’m not going to apologize for my feelings. A friend saw me today at school where I pick up my son, asked how I was doing, because I probably looked like I was hanging on by a thread, saw my younger son was injured (he took a spill down the front steps and scraped up the entire side of his neck/clavicle). I told her “Not good. It’s a lot right now.” I only shared what I felt comfortable sharing, she respected that and then kid got out of class and we said goodbye. I’ve told several people today I just don’t want to speak. Not even ‘talk’. I just didn’t have the energy to speak. I have to take care of me. You have to take care of you in whatever form brings you comfort.
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On Monday, I had noticed while eating dinner that there was a sudden jagged edge to one of my molars. This was mildly worrisome, believe one my filling had broken free. Turns out, that was indeed the case when I got to the dentist today. I’ve never had to get a crown before, but as my dentist described to me, because of how wide the original filling was, there was some small underlying decay that was missed during the original cavity removal and eventually that caused the filling to partially break off.
I’m not frustrated about this exactly, just more in the fact that I’ve struggled with dentistry for a lot of my life, going back to when I first had a cavity as a kid and nothing was given to me. Just went in with the drill. So I literally felt everything going on and was far too scared to note how I was feeling. Ever since then it’s been hard to go to a dentist, despite how much I work at keeping my teeth clean. I still get all anxiety-laden and nervous the moment I hear the drill. Even if I’m being rational and being wholly aware the procedure should be painless, besides the needle into the jaw(which really I’m fine with that, needles oddly, have never bothered me).
So next week Friday, get to sit with my mouth open for an hour and a half while they carve down that tooth and fit temporary crown on while the permeant one is being made, and then two weeks later, I get the final one put on.
I still hate dentistry.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament dental anxiety is so real
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@Testament said in RL Peeves:
I still hate dentistry.
So do I and I have no phobia about it at all. It’s just uncomfortable. I have one crown (and needed root canal on that tooth) so can say it’s not really a big deal. One suggestion though: ask for a bite block.
It’s basically a block of rubber they put between your upper and lower teeth on the other side you’re not having work done on. It holds your mouth open so you don’t have to. Saves your jaw muscles from cramping from holding your mouth open yourself.
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@TNP Okay, I’ve been wanting to ask this and I haven’t gotten around to it yet. When I was given the option to either have a root canal or just get the tooth pulled, I went for the latter because of the horror stories I’ve heard regarding root canals. Granted, my dentist suggested the surgery because of how jacked up that tooth was due to how it grew, so I suppose the point is moot, but the root canal was an option. I know that sounds a bit extreme, because you’d think getting a tooth pulled out of your head would be hella painful, the reality is you just feel an enormous amount of pressure on your skull.
So are root canals the hell on earth that I believe they are, or is just my anxiety telling me as much?
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament I had a root canal and honestly it was fine. Not hell at all. Standard dentist unpleasantness like getting the numbing shots and the drilling noises, but that was it.
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@Testament said in RL Peeves:
@TNP Okay, I’ve been wanting to ask this and I haven’t gotten around to it yet. When I was given the option to either have a root canal or just get the tooth pulled, I went for the latter because of the horror stories I’ve heard regarding root canals. Granted, my dentist suggested the surgery because of how jacked up that tooth was due to how it grew, so I suppose the point is moot, but the root canal was an option. I know that sounds a bit extreme, because you’d think getting a tooth pulled out of your head would be hella painful, the reality is you just feel an enormous amount of pressure on your skull.
So are root canals the hell on earth that I believe they are, or is just my anxiety telling me as much?
Okay, so I’ve had both of these things done.
I was too afraid of the root canal, so I had the tooth extracted. That was years. I really, really, really regret having the tooth pulled. Like, I could probably get the bridge done or the implant but I’ve avoided it all for so long that now I have anxiety over getting that corrected. It probably didn’t help that I didn’t do a general or anything else, just a shot. So it was really just a nightmare for me.
About two years ago, I had a root canal. I was extremely upfront with the dentist. I told him I am terrified of dental work. I have TMJ, keeping my mouth open for extended period is very uncomfortable and my jaw can lock. I told him my mouth is very sensitive and I often need (or feel like I need) more than the usual amount of numbing agent. I was very, very, very serious about how nervous the idea of mouth pain made me.
So he shot me up a TON. Was it a great experience? Fuck no, the dentist sucks. It was uncomfortable. But I wasn’t in pain. I didn’t need to take breaks. I was okay. He was able to take care of everything. And I would 100% go through the root canal again rather than the extraction. It sucks and the drill is loud.
You can be okay too. If you can preserve the bulk of your tooth? I recommend fully that you do that.
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They had to do two root canals for me at the same time - and my teeth are fucky, with extra roots and being weirdly inverted, and all sorts of things. The procedure was fine. I had the option of watching what they were doing on a screen, but that was a hard pass from me. This was 10+ years ago, so I’m sure the process is better/more efficient these days.
The most important part is having a good dentist doing the job, someone that listens and will keep your tooth irrigated with Novocain or whatever it is that they use to keep everything dead. If you trust your dentist and have good communication with them about your comfort levels and fears, then that’s half the battle right there.
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@lucidmaus I appreciate the feed back from. And also @tsar, especially since it sounds like we went through similar situations. I do have a level of trust with my dentist actually, as she came recommended from my fiancé. She’s had a lot of dental work done and is very happy with it. I actually didn’t know she’s had two crowns herself.
But does anyone else get the feeling that dentists are kind of…judgmental? As in, no matter how hard you try to take care of your teeth, you still get slightly browbeaten about it?
“Have you come in for a check up in the last six months?”
“…no.”
“Mmm, well, we could’ve potentially been able to fix this before it meant getting a crown.”
Me, internally: Yes, I know, thank you. Obviously I haven’t already thought of that myself.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament said in RL Peeves:
@lucidmaus I appreciate the feed back from. And also @tsar, especially since it sounds like we went through similar situations. I do have a level of trust with my dentist actually, as she came recommended from my fiancé. She’s had a lot of dental work done and is very happy with it. I actually didn’t know she’s had two crowns herself.
But does anyone else get the feeling that dentists are kind of…judgmental? As in, no matter how hard you try to take care of your teeth, you still get slightly browbeaten about it?
“Have you come in for a check up in the last six months?”
“…no.”
“Mmm, well, we could’ve potentially been able to fix this before it meant getting a crown.”
Me, internally: Yes, I know, thank you. Obviously I haven’t already thought of that myself.
YES. And it really builds on my anxiety about going.
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@Testament Some are. I have an amazing magical angel-dentist who is not.
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@Testament I’ll echo what others have said. I also was given the option to have it pulled and had heard the horror stories. But it was a back molar and I still have all my wisdom teeth so having a gap between two teeth would have driven me crazy.
Because something or other in the tooth had crystallized, I had to go to an endodontist who was fucking expensive but practically all he does is root canals. I literally didn’t feel a thing other than the injections.
Dentists, like doctors and everything else, are not all created equal. Horror stories on this… err, that other place attest to that. Some suck. Some are great. If you have a good dentist you trust and have experience with, root canal should be painless.
And once I asked my dentist why, since I come in for a cleaning every six months and get regular x-rays, why it seems like I get a cavity every year. His answer: a lot of it is genetic.
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I was told that we don’t start with mouth bacteria, but we get it by sharing foods with people who do. In other words, we almost always get it from our parents.
I don’t know how true that is.
Game-runner of Silent Heaven, a small-town horror MU.
https://silentheaven.org -
And once I asked my dentist why, since I come in for a cleaning every six months and get regular x-rays, why it seems like I get a cavity every year. His answer: a lot of it is genetic.
That’s what they told me, too. $10k in dental work has kept me with most of my teeth (minus some teeth pulled for braces along with the wisdom teeth), whereas my mother and younger brother are already in full dentures because it was too much work and money for them to maintain their soft teeth. Stupid bad dental genetics.
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@Testament For years, my dentist was one of my dad’s college buddies. They were in a fraternity together. By the time I started seeing him as a teenager, I’d heard stories about the hijinks they’d pulled. And he was pretty honest about how no one liked going to the dentist.
And then I moved so that I was no longer local to where I grew up, and I could not find a dentist who was not a judgmental jerk with a superiority complex. I got to the point where I’d literally schedule dental appointments when I was going to be on vacation near my parents’ so that I could continue to see my dad’s bud.
Dude’s retired now, so I (infrequently) see his daughter, who I grew up with.
