I really wanted async to work better for me because I can get really anxious about how long it takes me to pose sometimes, which can turn into a horrible feedback loop of anxiety and not posing. But async doesn’t seem to even help, it just gives me new anxieties and also seems to consistently add a layer of giant poses that can be very difficult for me to parse and respond to while also remembering the rest of what’s already happened in the scene, so I’ll go to respond and my brain is like NO I CANNOT WORK LIKE THIS and then I’m just a messy, anxious failure why do I even bother RPing?!

So, uh. Yeah! For some reason live works a little better for me, usually.

Still learning this camera, but the lighting was too perfect for her intense dinner staring.

And I’m not ASD, I swear,

This phrase gives me the ick. I’m assuming you don’t intend it negatively, but there is so much stigma around being autistic already that it would be really cool if we didn’t casually add to it.

I tend to greet people more often than not because I hate feeling invisible and I want people to know that they’re seen. That said, I try not to announce myself every time I log in because it sucks when THAT is ignored, and I generally only greet people who do say hi or give some indication that they want to be greeted, because not everyone has the connect/disconnect messages on, and maybe the quiet person doesn’t actually want to be perceived in that way.

Pretty much all of us have some communication baggage.

@Starr-Saphyre said in Newbie friendly games for someone who’s never played MUs?:

but their concern was that they couldn’t figure out how to engage. No one talked to them, and as a newbie, they couldn’t figure how to get involved with the story.

As someone who’s been MUing for a couple decades, now aimlessly drifting alone because their friends have moved on, I can’t even figure this shit out anymore. I can’t imagine coming into this hobby brand new, but that might be my aging brain and diminishing will to live talking.

A smaller game might be easier to engage with, depending on the people running it and the game’s RP culture, but this can be hard to figure out without giving it a go. The ability to blindly ask for RP, offer yourself as tribute when other people ask for RP, and to not be emotionally devastated when you’re consistently ignored on channels is also helpful.

Unfortunately, I do not possess any of these skills lol

The urge to disappear forever when the Interesting Conflict Dynamic was not actually that. As ever, I am my own biggest peeve.

I spent way too long writing a couple paragraphs reflecting on my struggles with asking for RP, and RP in general. And then I was like ‘fuck it, no one wants to read this shit’ and deleted them.

Which is an accurate representation of my struggles with asking for RP, and RPing in general.

I got my official diagnosis yesterday. Not really sure where to go from here, but it at least feels good to not second guess myself about it all the time now!

Current
Shattered: Kenny

Recentish
City of Glass: Eugene, Miguel
Excelsior!: Clarice
Wyrdhold: Oscar
Shattered: Willow
LA 2043: Brick
6ix: Oscar
Santa Rosalia: Waldo
Last One Standing: Richard
HorrorMU 2: Ben
Last Road: Omni, Ray
Pernworld: D’ax, V’ro

Long Ago
Soucon: Ryann, Dekaelis, Jenavee
Silver Skies: Keyne
Threadfall: W’rik
Leading Edge: T’gar
Norcon: B’tal, Teris, Ch’son, H’vier, Jadzia, Z’riah, Oliwer, Nia, Zhivka, P’tras, G’vri, D’vro
Harper’s Tale: Sh’ro, Xh’zil

The Reach: Theo, Analise, Essie, Deacon, Stockholm (staff)
Reno: Nia, Spoof (staff)
Darkwater (2?): Noah
Fallcoast: Javier, William, Hamlet (staff)
NOLA: Theo, Gemma, Decatur (staff)
Fear and Loathing: Reinard
NOLA 2: Decatur (staff), Kenny, Miles

Arx: Harlan (November '16-January '17ish, May '17-July '17), Derovai (January '17-February '17), Brianna (January '17-February '17), Holden (June '17-August '17)

Windy City: Emma, Jethro, Mason, Monty, Gaius, Toby, Hadley, Irene, Deimos (staff)
Sin City: Warrick, Ethan
Cuendillar: Wynne
Wild Spirits: Helix
Serenity: Warrick, Gerry
Corporate Expanse: Audrey Takei
Coyote Trail: Felix
HorrorMU: The Bravo (1)
Spirit Lake: Logan

Thank you for sharing!

Are you ever reading a log or something and start thinking to yourself wow I should give up RPing so these amazingly talented individuals need never stumble over my dramatic nonsense ever again? Just me???

Some of you are just like TRULY GIFTED writers and I admire you so much!

YES THIS IS STILL A PEEVE.

I’ve been FFXIV-ing by my lonesome and I’d probably rather be RPing. Like the game is fun, but I’m terrible at staying invested in single player games and that’s what it feels like I’m playing.

My MU peeve tax is that I’m not sure I’m feeling my fav character lately, but the thought of starting and integrating a new one (even with a concept I’m excited about!) also feels meh.

This is a constant battle for me, so I figured other people might benefit from a reminder, too.

The urge to disappear forever when the Interesting Conflict Dynamic was not actually that. As ever, I am my own biggest peeve.

When the brain weasels are too powerful

If anyone needs help making a changeling or demon or mortal+, I’m happy to assist! You’re on your own for mage, though.

I really wanted async to work better for me because I can get really anxious about how long it takes me to pose sometimes, which can turn into a horrible feedback loop of anxiety and not posing. But async doesn’t seem to even help, it just gives me new anxieties and also seems to consistently add a layer of giant poses that can be very difficult for me to parse and respond to while also remembering the rest of what’s already happened in the scene, so I’ll go to respond and my brain is like NO I CANNOT WORK LIKE THIS and then I’m just a messy, anxious failure why do I even bother RPing?!

So, uh. Yeah! For some reason live works a little better for me, usually.

@somasatori said in MU Peeves Thread:

with the end result that my ancient reptile brain tells me how awful I am while I’m trying to roleplay a social scene.

My brain never stops doing this. I’ve been trying to just be like fuck it guess I’ll just be awful then! But it’s SO HARD.