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@Tez said in Tough Calls:
I used to be a very evidence-based staffer.
I think evidence is still worthwhile, as sometimes, people can pass the vibe check, but still end up doing some horrible stuff, and evidence will get past the “oh, they’re good people, they pass my vibe check”, and can also indicate that maybe a review of the vibe one is looking for might be needed.
I have seen a person get banned around constant loud complaints about asking for RP but they never accepted when people said yes. To me it was clear that they were really only interested in a few specific people, they would spam and handwring on chan when those folks were present and ignore everyone else’s invites or yeses on the lrp channel.
So it wasn’t so much a ban for asking for RP (even though thats the channel where they really were engaging in public problematic behavior) but being passive aggressive/obnoxious/extremely negative on channel.
I’m sure they are fine as a person but it was nice to not have to turn off the lrp channel and being able to use that resource again without having to also deal with their constant complaints that “nobody” would RP with then when in fact people had accepted but weren’t the intended targets of the public asking.
Usually when people act like that in public, they are equally if not more problematic 1:1 or in small groups so not an asset to the game. Maybe this person was an exception but I dunno, could never get them to accept any proactive offer of RP, they never responded to my acceptances of their public asks, and where they showed up to public scenes I or others would set up that their intended targets would come to they would go silent or stompy when that target interacted with others and it didn’t turn into a 1:1 sub scene.
I am almost positive that person’s perception was that they were banned for asking for RP too much. But that wasn’t the real issue of behavior and I doubt even if staff tried to make that clear that the person would have been open to understanding that.
@Tez Guess who just got through writing a paper on practitioner ethics, boundary setting, and bias acknowledgement. >_>
@Pavel said in Tough Calls:
@Tez said in Tough Calls:
I have cautioned people on behavior that could, if not corrected, eventually lead to a ban, so I GUESS I issue warnings, but not in the manner I used to
Not that I want to accuse you of impropriety or anything, but do you find that you’re more willing to caution/counsel people with whom you’ve already established a rapport or relationship vs a relative unknown?
I ask only because I very much do feel that way; I’d be much more inclined to tell you, for instance, to knock it off vs someone I don’t know who’d just get a boot. I know it’s a bias that some would object to but I also tend to avoid staffing these days, precisely because I know my own biases enough to know I can’t be bothered.
That’s actually a really interesting point. You’re totally right. I would tell my friends to knock shit off in a way where it doesn’t register as a warning as such to my brain – which probably makes me more likely to do so.
I just don’t have the same sense of needing to be cautious or delicate with them, because I know that they will take what I say in the spirit in which it is intended, and change behavior. I can think of instances where I’ve definitely told friends offhand to knock shit off in a way where I’d stop and have to have a staff conversation to see if others feel it’s appropriate to warn a stranger.
But.
In my head, I don’t necessarily think of it as warning my friend.
Damn, you right.
@Ashkuri And as a corollary, we shouldn’t say “we should RP sometime” as a polite, social, nothing statement like we do when we say “we really should get coffee” to the irritating person you used to work with, and you still see down at the grocery store. Mean what we say and say what we mean.
@Tez said in Tough Calls:
I have cautioned people on behavior that could, if not corrected, eventually lead to a ban, so I GUESS I issue warnings, but not in the manner I used to
Not that I want to accuse you of impropriety or anything, but do you find that you’re more willing to caution/counsel people with whom you’ve already established a rapport or relationship vs a relative unknown?
I ask only because I very much do feel that way; I’d be much more inclined to tell you, for instance, to knock it off vs someone I don’t know who’d just get a boot. I know it’s a bias that some would object to but I also tend to avoid staffing these days, precisely because I know my own biases enough to know I can’t be bothered.
@Tez Hrm, without sin eh…
What about @junipersky?
ETA: Assuming you mean comparatively without sin. Let he who is the least shit throw the first stone sort of thing.
