An Arx Peeve Thread
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@Jennkryst I hate this. Especially when like. You wanna rp, and you wanna rp, and you sit down at your computer and go to open the client and your brain just goes pffftt nah, blank.
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@Jennkryst Even worse is when you’re on a good rp-streak and then something breaks it. I was just realizing that I had been rping a lot until an unpleasant OOC thing happened and I have barely played since. Come back, motivation.
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@sao Remember that time I started a scene with you and like before I even posed I was immediately like “actually, nevermind”. Thanks for not murdering me.
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@farfalla Of course I didn’t murder you. I have forced myself to rp when I wasn’t feeling it and the result was a flat scene I felt bad about forcing my rp partner through. If you don’t wanna rp, do not rp.
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Anyone else have their biggest Arx peeve be, “I don’t want to be a bother and I feel like asking for things is bothering so I’ll not do that except occasionally for something I feel really really big about and then feel really really bad about being a bother.”
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@junipersky said in An Arx Peeve Thread:
Anyone else have their biggest Arx peeve be, “I don’t want to be a bother and I feel like asking for things is bothering so I’ll not do that except occasionally for something I feel really really big about and then feel really really bad about being a bother.”
yes, hi
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@junipersky It’s not my biggest Arx peeve but it’s very high up there.
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@junipersky
I don’t even like asking/@mailing/etc for RP.Also, welcome!
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@junipersky said in An Arx Peeve Thread:
Anyone else have their biggest Arx peeve be, “I don’t want to be a bother and I feel like asking for things is bothering so I’ll not do that except occasionally for something I feel really really big about and then feel really really bad about being a bother.”
I’m supposed to send you a whenisgood but then I don’t but I know that I need to but I’m going to I swear
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@junipersky every single request I’ve ever sent has included NO WORRIES IF NOT in flashing neon
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I AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ THESE WORDS PLEASE FORGIVE ME
^^ The feeling I try to send without also coming across as passive-aggressive.
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Fully acknowledging that staff has lives of their own and owe me nothing, but also at the same time MUST INSTANTLY RESPOND TO ALL OF MY THINGS, I AM THE ONLY IMPORTANT PERSON AND REQUIRE MANY ANSWERS AND ALL YOUR ATTENTION TO MAKE FUN GAME TIME.
Uh. I mean. Yeah. to be taken playfully but also extremely literally, give me everything. Or don’t!
Unless…
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@junipersky said in An Arx Peeve Thread:
Anyone else have their biggest Arx peeve be, “I don’t want to be a bother and I feel like asking for things is bothering so I’ll not do that except occasionally for something I feel really really big about and then feel really really bad about being a bother.”
plz don’t dox me thnx
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@junipersky I feel like this has been a thing on mushes for as long as mushes have existed. Nobody wants to be a ‘pain in the ass’ or a ‘hassle’ or it’s looked upon as being ‘needy’ or ‘high maintenance’ or whatever. And nobody wants to be that.
I get really similar messages on Discord while running my DnD TT group. I get why players do it, hell, I still do it, but as a DM or as a head staffer, my usual response tends to amount to, “Hey it’s cool, this is literally what I signed up for. You’re not making my life any harder by writing this.” It’s my job to create content for players that allows their characters to evolve while also expanding the lore and theme of the world at large. If I’m not doing that, than I’m being a shitty storyteller.
Granted, I realize that my perspective on this is probably skewed because I tend to deal with requests from only a couple dozen people rather than what’s probably hundreds on a larger game. So there’s likely a much different outlook for a larger game like this. Wager it’s a lot more unwieldy and a lot more mentally and emotionally exhausting. In which case, it’s nice that players are cognizant of whatever they’re asking. Still, that is the function of the request tool.
It is a shame that players feel guilt about putting requests while at the same time it’s unfortunate that staff of larger games have so much to contend with. I don’t know if there’s any good solution.
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I think that there are also cultural issues at play - @Rathenhope and I have discussed this in the past. The American way of talking about things is very different to the British way, the style of engaging, the way directness is treated etc. And that’s two very similar cultures giving a divide that can manifest in how more free form ‘just ask’ systems can operate.
Which is to say, shit is complicated.
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I don’t mind people reaching out to me. But I also have the poor habit of letting myself become an emotional sponge.
Then later on I’m like, I’m so tired.
Weird.
How did this happen.
Mystery.
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@tsar Given the current climate these days, the ability to contain a particular level of empathy for your fellow human being is a slightly rare but exceedingly admirable trait in a person.
That said, there’s a limit for everything.
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@Testament said in An Arx Peeve Thread:
That said, there’s a limit for everything.
It’s true. I’ve found myself getting better about politely putting my foot down when something is getting to be overly much.
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The boundary I use is that if I am logged in to the game, I am available for questions whether those are requests or pages (which I might tell someone to request instead). If I am not logged in, then I am not available. Part of my personal contract is that anyone can ask about anything but my ‘no’ needs to be respected if that is the answer and sometimes, I might need some time to give a proper answer.
I’m not an emotional sponge like @tsar but I am protective over my energy. But that is for ME to handle. Players don’t need to worry about that. Ask what you need and I will manage my energy to get you the answer that you want.
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@Herja So you’re saying that there are people who just… cold page staffers? What must it be like to live with such hubris.