POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided

[mietze]

Unless you are one of my two red zone people, I would say 90 percent of the time, I will like you. I can usually find something that I like about any person. (now that I think about it, I can come up with many things for my red zoners too). I was a lot more of a RP snob when I was younger. (Also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a RP snob. We all have a set amount of time and energy we have to give to scening so honestly, if something super annoys you why subject yourself to that thing if it’s going to ruin the day!) I could not stand typos/grammatical errors or posing styles that differed too much from mine. I wasn’t a bad person for that.

However now I find myself a lot more relaxed about that stuff. Maybe it’s because of my own life changes that have made words more difficult to reach/ideas expressed, slower processing, ect. But it is also the case that I have met a lot of genuinely sweet and fun people who were polar opposites when it came to how I write who after awhile I did not even notice because of how lovely and giving they were in a scene and in the social aspect as well, and it encouraged me to have a more open mind about it. And I’ve also gotten better at if a scene just is NOT working, to just finding a way to leave it. That was so hard for me even like 6 years ago. So I think the combination of being willing to parachute out has given me more space to give a chance for things that at the beginning I am like “well, shit, am i going to want to gnaw my own leg off to escape the trap in an hour?!” because i am better about excuing myself. If that makes sense. And on a different day/mood it could be totally different.

[Third Eye]

Yeah, my threshold for ‘dislike’ is honestly pretty high, probably higher than people I don’t interact with a ton assume. I also take the attitude toward public RP where, if I’m unwilling to interact with my least favorite but not complaint-worthy player, I probably need to not put out an open call for RP or go out in public that night. That’s what it means to me. You get what you get! Sometimes it’s not what you want! But sometimes it’s also surprisingly fun, and you takes your chances.

The only person I’m going out of my way to avoid at the moment is someone I consider an OOC manipulator and that’s a whole different thing. There’s lots of low-key behavior I don’t like but that doesn’t rise to the level of creeper that I just…would rather not be a part of my little world. Those people are rare and not really what the thread’s about, though.

[Vulgar Boy]

I generally go into situations determined to dislike everyone so that if they dislike me then I can take the small victory of having gotten there first. As a result I rarely find myself in a position of wanting to avoid people. Like, wanting to avoid them for behavioral reasons, at least. The few times it has come up I’ve fallen squarely into avoid as long as possible, because it feels like on a MUSH there is always this grim readiness for spectacular drama, and the most polite version of “Can we do this some other way? I’d rather not RP with you” can spiral out of control. Of course avoidance and delaying eventually fail, but you can always hope that the MUSH closes or the universe succumbs to entropy before you have to deal with it.

The best way to find someone is avoiding you is to hear it from a friend who is more your friend then their friend, so they will make fun of them with you.

[helvetica]

Sometimes, when you dont fuck with somebody, it can feel like they take up a lottttt of space. When a game is small, that can be a challenge, at least for me personally. I’ve definitely passed on games for that reason. I’ve also said fuck it, hit page/block discord/block, and put up my feet.

I can’t imagine someone trying to rp after instituting a no contact. That’s… manipulative as hell.

[Dreampipe]

There’s been moments where, in being direct to someone about playing with them, I’ve ended up being very rude in the process. It’s difficult for me at times to separate the character from the human, and it can feel overly personal. I like to think I’ve improved on that since I started playing on a big game, but I do look back at my past behavior and just go “eugh”

I still think a direct approach is good, but taking a diplomatic tone to it is even more important, imo. Just to separate the line and let them know that, whatever reason you have, it’s not personal. The vibe is just off, lukewarm, or nonexistent.

Unless it is personal. And then idk, german suplex them or something.

[Artemis]

I don’t seek them, and in turn, I assume they don’t seek me. If they’re extremely boring/grating to me, I’ll probably dip from a scene when they join. Tbh this is rare, though, it’s pretty easy for me to find something to like about everybody, and I’ll rp with anyone at least once. The thing that really annoys me is when a person will continuously page/mail me with greetings or requests, meanwhile I’m either ghosting or replying super sparsely. If I pick up on this with someone else, I stop trying to contact them. So I guess what I’m tryna say is fuck direct confrontation, JUST GHOST ME.
Should probably add that ‘just ghost me’ isn’t a thing that applies to established connections. That’s a whole other deal.

[Duke Whisky]

RP anyways, both counts.

Sorry to everyone that I have made sit there and suffer those few hours with me. I’d ask for forgiveness, but it is what I want.

[hellfrog]

@Whisky

[lucidmaus]

I think it depends on the reasons for the avoidance, so that complicates things.

Generally, I’ll RP with anyone, though, unless they make it exquisitely clear they don’t want to RP with me. Ghosting is fine (unless it’s someone I know and like and have a rapport with OOC; then I’d prefer a more direct conversation.) If they’re exceptionally boring, that just means scenes will be shorter.

For people where there’s a personal issue for whatever reason, that’s easier: just avoid. Do not acknowledge in RP, do not RP with them, do not talk about their characters (unless it’d be weird not to, but I’m not about to go bringing up that person’s alts in RP of my own volition and will let the other player(s) know that’s a topic I’m not comfortable with), etc.

[SpaceKhomeini]

@helvetica said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:

Sometimes, when you dont fuck with somebody, it can feel like they take up a lottttt of space.

Funny enough, it seems like the people I try to avoid are all people who take up a shitton of space in the first place.

[farfalla]

@lucidmaus said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:

do not talk about their characters

This is such a good point. I also don’t bring up their characters, but there are definitely times where someone is avoiding/no-contact with a player and yet will bring up their character. Why?! Is this a weird powerplay because you know I won’t respond? Pls stop. We do not exist to each other.

[Apos]

@lucidmaus said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:

For people where there’s a personal issue for whatever reason, that’s easier: just avoid. Do not acknowledge in RP, do not RP with them, do not talk about their characters (unless it’d be weird not to, but I’m not about to go bringing up that person’s alts in RP of my own volition and will let the other player(s) know that’s a topic I’m not comfortable with), etc.

But if I do that how will I ever get the last word in and try to passive aggressively convince everyone I was right and they were wrong about something I’m still mad about

[Roz]

@farfalla said in POLL: How do you avoid / want to be avoided:

Is this a weird powerplay because you know I won’t respond?

yes.

[SpaceKhomeini]

@farfalla

Yeah, like getting certain types of IC mentions from people who’ve had basically zero contact with your character is a thing that provokes some headscratching on my part.

I accept these things can be situational and – well, clearly this creature is interesting enough to gab about in a scene but not interesting enough to say hello to/pie in the face IC?

I get it if the character in question is like Lord Fartgoblin III and you live in the fiefdom of House Fartgoblin or have been beefing with them, or have taken the time to note established ties with them, but again, that’s situational.

I don’t automatically assume bad intentions, this is just something I don’t do and feels weird.

[Pax]

@SpaceKhomeini If it’s someone I’ve actually had no contact with and the tone is sharp, I take it as flirting for PVP so… if you open that door, don’t let me hear any shit when I walk through it.