MU Peeves Thread
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This whole conversation
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I can also see @mourne’s question being incredibly off-putting if TS wasn’t the thing you had planned, if your character likes to flirt but rarely consummates the flirtation. I could definitely see myself getting squicked out by the presumption if OOCly I hadn’t planned for anything to happen.
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@Selira So you’d get squicked, when heavily flirting, going to a private location, with the flirting ramping up towards petting, if someone wanted to make sure you were A) ok with RP going in that direction and B) if it did go in that direction, making sure you were comfortable.
Can’t.
Win.
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@Mourne said in MU Peeves Thread:
if there was any squicks or language or things best left avoided before things progressed to far as I didn’t want the naughty bits to be triggering or just take someone out of the RP
@Mourne said in MU Peeves Thread:
when heavily flirting, going to a private location, with the flirting ramping up towards petting, if someone wanted to make sure you were A) ok with RP going in that direction
These are two different scenarios and you’re straw manning what I said. My point was I’ve had people drop that presuming something was definitely about to happen, when it sure wasn’t the plan.
If you keep adding more details to the scenario, that’s not what the person was responding to. You’ve moved the goal posts to make yourself look like a victim instead.
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everyone is telling me every time they pose drinking now, I have regrets
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@farfalla time to have a character who mostly slurps. that’s fine, right? that’s fine.
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Invent straws.
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@farfalla I had a whole scene last night with no drinks in it. I’m sorry.
I will do better in the future. -
You can drink, you can pull, you can chug, slug, guzzle or glug, you can take that shot and tip it back or kill it dead or nurse it if you’re not the murdering type. You can sip it or take counsel with it or steal a second to wet the ol’ whistle, tank up on it or put it down, cozy up to the rim of your glass or just plain have a quick swallow.
Source: I’ve played a lot of alcoholics.
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keep that whistle pointed away from me!
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This reminds me of on SL when we’d bring food and drinks to every single group event no matter what it was or if food was already provided in the scene set god damn it someone was going to pose donuts
(it was me a lot of the time, I’m guilty)
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I had a knee-jerk reaction to someone saying I was ‘victim blaming’ and lashed out a bit.
That bought into the attempted manipulation, and I apologize for that failure.
So I am erasing my former statement and saying this:
Being asked how you (The royal you, not the specific you) would prefer to handle a scene in advance, is not a crime. It is not someone abusing you in any way shape or form.
You are not a /victim/ for being asked how you would like to RP.
Especially when it is done without any lewd or crude comments.
For all those here whom I may end up RP’ing with some day, I am not going to stop making sure my RP partners are comfortable with the direction and tone of RP.
I owe them that.
I am truly saddened that there are people who believe that this is somehow… wrong.
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Fyi, BMD keeps edits, you might want to delete and repost if you really want it gone from the world.
In any case, I was just talking about a specific time I was squicked before things got bad. I do see more explanation was given that I had missed when skimming, that’s on me, but I wasn’t coming at you and it really felt like you were defending yourself from an attack I wasn’t making. The victim thing was probably too far.
I’m allowed to have felt squicked by the time I’m talking about and to have a problem with presumption. You’re allowed to be bothered by the time you asked and had them explode on you.
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@farfalla said in MU Peeves Thread:
@KarmaBum What is your preference for scenes where it starts PG and then heats up? Often I wouldn’t have the chance to check in about things like when to FTB or disliked words/details, because we didn’t start the scene going 'okay we’re gonna fuck so let’s discuss." (Genuine question, not an argument.)
I actually don’t ask, because it feels awk and I never know what to say, and I find any OOC but “I gotta go in an hour” to be awk, but I have had people ask me at the point things are turning in that direction and I appreciated it.
The alternative, in my experience, is a game of TS-chicken in which each person tentatively uses a new word to see how the other person responds but no one wants to be the first one to use it. Which is also awk so I don’t have a solution.
I keep it clinical and leave the ball in their court. I consider that polite without being imposing. The invitation to discuss is there if they want it, but no presumption’s been made.
Example: Hey there, this being fairly new ground, please let me know if at any point you’d prefer to fade or change tack for any reason. I like RPing with you and I’m happy to match your comfort levels.
I like this because the only answer they really need to give is ‘OK,’ and there’s no inherent judgement being made. They can fade because it’s late and they’re not feeling it, there’s no assumption that I the player have made them uncomfortable and will now require a heart-to-heart about why they don’t think I’m sexy enough. There’s no interrogation into their secret inner world. Communicate or don’t; your choice.
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Vaaaaaguely related to the whole boundaries discussion (if I reach a little – a lot – anyhow).
Major peeve with folks whose characters turn up and are all over you and so are they, OOC. Until they realise that you’re not interested in pursuing any kind of romantic or erotic RP relationship with them. At which point you get the cold shoulder and stop to exist.
No peeve with people coming to games to pursue romance first and plot later. But be up front about what you want. Don’t string me along and make me write plot for you, only to leave me sitting feeling like an idiot when your character runs off to chase the next dick.
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@L-B-Heuschkel Has anyone ever done that–openly pursued you for the purpose of establishing romance with your character, I mean–in a way that feels respectful of you, like they’re interested in you rather than what you can do for them?
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@GF said in MU Peeves Thread:
@L-B-Heuschkel Has anyone ever done that–openly pursued you for the purpose of establishing romance with your character, I mean–in a way that feels respectful of you, like they’re interested in you rather than what you can do for them?
Me the character or me the person behind the screen? Because it’s usually the latter – I’m an active plot runner and people tend to flock to that. Even when they have no actual interest in plot. Neurotypicals are weird.
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@L-B-Heuschkel said in MU Peeves Thread:
Me the character or me the person behind the screen?
Either/or. I find the distinction between player and character kind of nonsensical most times, since the character is just the player wearing a mask.
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@GF said in MU Peeves Thread:
Either/or. I find the distinction between player and character kind of nonsensical most times, since the character is just the player wearing a mask.
I mean, that’s not all wrong but at the same time, my characters are not me. I don’t share all their views or agendas or characteristics, not to mention appearances.
I get what you mean, though. And there is a bleed between the two when people chase your character because they perceive them as a source of easy action. It just crosses into absurd when the action is not what they actually want.