The SA In Games Thread (Good Luck)
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@hellfrog said:
What’s with the assumption that anyone who participates in graphic rp is doing it for their direct gratification and building pathology?? Because that’s just not reliably the case. I see you said your issue is the ‘blase attitude’ that it’s ok if there’s consent, but what’s the alternative? I don’t understand the consequence that’s desired.My reading of Kestrel’s whole spiel is that it’s important to look at the big picture of what you’re doing and examine if what you’re doing is harmful to yourself or others on a case by case basis. Not that, like, all sexual RP is self-harm.
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Maybe the safest and most sensible way to enjoy story-rich CNC RP is to just do it on a game that forbids it, but behind a closed door, in a private room that can’t be spied on, and contrive a reason to never tell anybody IC or OOC.
I know you mean that as a joke, but please never do that. The amount of times I’ve had to review logs to fix bugs only to stumble upon policy violations is already more than I wish it was.
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My reading of Kestrel’s whole spiel is that it’s important to look at the big picture of what you’re doing and examine if what you’re doing is harmful to yourself or others on a case by case basis. Not that, like, all sexual RP is self-harm.
So the issue is other peoples’ cavalier attitudes towards their own self-examination of their motives and behavior? Internally?? Because previously she stated she wanted it in the setting, but not - involving pcs, I guess? Which begs a lot of questions, and assumptions, and questions about the assumptions.
And maybe a little alarm at the assumption one can diagnose a stranger by a behavior that may be an indicator of a possible problem or may be completely harmless.
ETA Obviously everyone can and should make informed choices about what they are comfortable dealing with. I pretty famously completely outlawed SA as a story beat on the last game I staffed for that very reason.
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@hellfrog said:
So the issue is other peoples’ cavalier attitudes towards their own self-examination of their motives and behavior? Internally?? Because previously she stated she wanted it in the setting, but not - involving pcs, I guess? Which begs a lot of questions, and assumptions, and questions about the assumptions.And maybe a little alarm at the assumption one can diagnose a stranger by a behavior that may be an indicator of a possible problem or may be completely harmless.
no?
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If they’re consenting adults, the harm is entirely their responsibility. If I am one of those consenting adults, then the harm is my responsibility; otherwise, it is not. If I am staff (heaven forfend) and it is revealed that consent is not genuine (for any of the usual sexual-crime related reasons) then it becomes my problem.
But I must start from the position that continuous, enthusiastic, and explicit consent is honest, and any ensuing harm is regrettable but not punishable. There’s an assumption of risk that one takes when one engages in roleplay; adding violence, kink, horror, etc. adds to that risk. It is your personal responsibility to ensure that you don’t take on more risk than you’re capable of—harm may still happen, and it is unfortunate. To my mind, your being harmed does not always mean someone is liable or responsible. Sometimes harm just happens.
ETA: This isn’t an absolute statement, there are nuances and everything’s subjective, but I’m mostly pushing back on the vibe that we have to be responsible for everyone else at all times.
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