How many occasions do you have to be told you are toeing a line, is my question?
People really be like-- ‘no it’s fine to do this multiple times because i apologized to that person and just tried again differently’ as their defense and it blows my mind.
I am home now, since Sunday evening, and I keep crying on and off. I woke up crying this morning.
About five months ago, I left my previous job for my new one. But I left a lot of people that I was really close to for seven years. You spend 1/3rd of your day with the same people, and you grow super close to them. It’s why some people get joking referred to as work husbands, work wives.
My work husband passed away on Friday, from a heart attack. I don’t know any better thing to call him. We ate lunch together almost every day for seven years, we worked together, we bitched about our work and joked and shared everything. We worked out together, we had holidays together. And now he’s gone and the pandemic took so much time away from us, pushing everyone into isolation that I let stay because I was tired and lazy.
This pandemic is hard. It’s rough. We have all been constantly on edge for years. But, we should all be making more time for people and things we love.
wait wait wait.
if bossmek is Hadrix. Then if we go into his history, he was here talking about how he’d be WATCHING CAREFULLY how staff at United Heroes dealt with Claremont, who was basically-- in the same situation he is in now???
http://musoapbox.net/post/243861
Like, same exact thing. Guy accused as creeper by many people who is on staff, being protected by head staffer.
ETA: i guess he doesn’t think you guys need to look as carefully about how things get handled at AoA, but definitely needed to at UH. wonder what the difference is to bossmek there. hmmmm.
never trust a staff who can’t admit to their own fucks up, even as something as small as not having posted clear rules on x.
I promise, Devrex, I would also like people to stop going over there to name call. If you think that’s what I was doing when I posted for a while-- I wasn’t. Give me some good faith. I was pointing out one thing that I thought was unfair and egregious.
But basically, both boards are doing the same thing at this point. Vague ‘look at them, eating crackers!’ posts, because honestly, we are still one community and this schism is silly and makes me sad.
so us posting on here about you guys posting about us on there-- yeah, that’s gonna happen. I wish people would stop posting on there, though, too.
but, i didn’t go post because i was ‘bored’. i posted because i really thought my point could be acknowledged about how stupid Narson’s banning was, but scar getting unbanned, etc, and how arbitrary this shit was.
I had a weird experience reporting, even with staff I really respect now. I understand where they were coming from at the time, because they did not know me but they did know the other player.
And my logs did NOT make me look great. Because if you ask for anyone’s logs with someone they thought was a friend*ish that then proceeded to cross boundary after boundary, well. You’re gonna see some shit. Did I do some light gossip about another player? Yes. Etc etc. Was there some flirting before the person crossed the line? Yes. etc etc.
And even in the report I did make, there are some things I didn’t report because I just-- was not comfortable digging up the really personal shit to show. Like ‘hey, I asked that this person not try to talk OOC about sexual shit because he was married, but then he did and pressed and I didn’t defend that boundary as much as I should’ kind of shit.
idk, man. at the end of the day, this shit is complicated. hence why we’re going to rehash it until the world is in cinders.
hi guys, i’d just like to pop in and remind you all that i no longer RP. feel free to extrapolate from that information as you will.
also how are you guys doing? i miss you crazy weirdos.
Life feels /really/, /really/ unfair sometimes. The month of May has been just-- exhausting. We had to put our 3 year old puppy down, and then a week and a half later, I lost my friend who was so young.
Last week, my best friend’s dad passed away, two years into his retirement. He’s my second dad; he referred to me as his second daughter and probably cared about me way more than my real dad ever did.
He was a bit of a collector. We have just been cleaning and organizing since then, as well as dealing with funeral arrangements and trying to figure out probate and everything. The only highlight in all of this is the cool shit we found that he saved, so I’ll share that with you guys:
A lambda 8300 personal computer
A Timex-Sinclair 1000 personal computer
Every issue since Apr 1977 (the first) of Heavy Metal magazine (which is a misleading title but super cool)
The full box sets of 5 inch floppies of (with boxes and all the manuals and everything):
Worlds of Ultima: The Savage Empire
Ultima Worlds of Adventure: Martian Dreams
A huge box of weed seeds that he must have been saving from every bag he bought, for his daughter to bake with
This isn’t half of it, but they are some cool things of a lot of cool things he had. I am just so super sad and heart sore that he didn’t get to enjoy his hobbies longer. You work so long to retire to enjoy your life and it just-- Idk, I hurt right now.
Take care, guys. I’ll be back when I’m back!
@hobos honestly, I hadn’t thought of Macha in ten years since this??? So I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself.
I don’t hate her. But she did personally gaslight me and treat me pretty horribly, player to player, on the game we played together for a year (??? I think, don’t count on that time).
This mostly was: we would have a scene, her character would say something mean to mine, my character would react to said meanness, and then in all other RP with people or even RP with me, she would insist the thing she said/did didn’t happen and it was just my character being crazy/mean out of nowhere.
Mostly at the time, it made me feel shitty. Before this recent stuff, I just figured we were young and dumb and she didn’t feel comfortable enough to stop and ask for a retcon or communicate misunderstandings.
ETA: I mean, VulgarKitten also lied and gaslighted people. She violated NCOs that other people asked for. I think that is the definition of a bad actor.
So that’s why I’m still reading, even though I know I shouldn’t. I’ll grow out of it soon.
honestly, i think i need to force myself out of it now. i’ve said my peace. as derp says, they have the receipts. anyone can look at anything i posted and decide how they feel they wish to characterize it.
reading over and over broad strokes that mischaracterize me, i feel, just makes me upset each time and is bad for my mental health. And my BPD, as i once explained on MSB, but i do need to take responsibility for my own mental health.
i’m not judging anyone here, obvs! or there. idc. i am just explaining why i am suddenly going to stop posting in this thread or upvoting people. take care, guys!
@eddie said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
@Meg Why would I out myself to a group of people who would like to target and victimize me? Well, hold that thought! Thank you for engaging with me, and I think that is a very constructive question, genuinely.
How are we going to target and victimize you? None of us have any power on AOA. Indeed, the people who have posted here that did play on AOA have a distinct lack of power; that is why they posted here.
Truth of the matter is I am the victim of a number of different instances of manipulation and sexual misconduct. Not just on that game, but a number of other venues. Was it by the alleged you named? No. There are other players though who do.
I was mislead into believing that my rp would equate to something of a strong story between one character and my own, for instance, and devoted a lot of time and effort into the development of that narrative. That included in-game currency, assets you have to travel around, find and buy, and modifications to make those assets function more efficiently when they are used.
I invested those things into the person I was playing opposite of only to have them pit me against another player to compete for their attention. Not just the intimate rp, but story we had spent hours developing and writing out. It all got thrown away in an instant, and the assets I invested with walked away with no ROI because I refused to compete, on an OOC level, with another player for something I felt I had earned and put the time into to warrant.
I was manipulated and used, then thrown away like trash from an OOC perspective.
I had another instance where I played with another player that I made clear I do not impart aspects about myself into the intimate rp that they engage in. It is a matter of comfort for me to not allow predators to cling to things like that. Despite my best attempts at keeping this separate, this married man continued to tell me things in OOC about how these scenes and actions were intended for me OOC, and how he hoped I ‘got something from it.’
Unwanted, and unwarranted, and I felt targeted as a victim. I assume in those regards, how would I feel comfortable levying complaints to staff that I had been duped, and manipulated?
Regarding AoA, I think there’s a nuanced community within the community itself that are not all that bad. That’s not dismissing the issues that came up in this topic, but it’s more to the fact that everywhere has issues. Concerning those alleged in this topic, they were not contributors to my own experience. I certainly think there could be a quicker process to out predators much like I experienced, but the question comes in how to negotiate that, or present in a manner much like those presented in this topic. ‘Things can be doctored’, ‘images can be altered’.
So I never outed them because there was no sure way to say, this happened to me. My own experiences aren’t just based out of the aforementioned venue though, I could certainly share more. I think open commentary like this does help in a therapeutic way, airing and such.
So you do understand exactly what were are talking about. Yes, sexual predators/pests etc exist on the games. I am sorry someone tried to force you into OOC intimacy when you had an RP relationship. This is exactly why it’s helpful to be able to share your experiences and find others that had the same.
Because if these people are doing it to one person, they are probably doing it to multiple. And that is a certain kind of evidence in itself.
ETA: Also, my biggest takeaway from your post is that it’s not only Hadrix and Cujo, but also more people being sex pests on that game. Which wouldn’t surprise me, because when you foster that kind of community, it grows, despite the pockets of good players that try to play there and insulate themselves to varying degrees of success.
@Polk There’s no rule that every single post in the Game Gab forum has to be constructive. The description is: ‘Conversations and questions about current, upcoming, and advertised games and the hobby as a whole.’
We just aren’t in the Rough and Rowdy section, so we can’t be rough or rowdy, but that in no way means that we all have to collectively forget what you just did to a game that you were staffing on, as we talk about Staff Capacity.
On another note, if we are ever considering BMD to be someone’s living room, rather than the town square that I think a lot of us consider it to be (???), then I would very much like to be informed.
Sorry, I want to be in a living room with friends. I don’t want to be stuck in a living room with a bunch of randos. I’ll attend a MU* con, but I won’t have you all back to my hotel room.
@OnceWas said in City of Glass - Discussion:
@sao After a dialogue with said staffer, whom I found to be a very helpful and thorough assistant throughout the process, I am certain the oversight will be addressed. The continued hate I’m getting is also speaking a lot about how much, or little, people want any amount of friction generated, which is somewhat coloring my concerns, as well.
Hey as someone who doesn’t rp and so I’m not invested in this situation, sometimes you should probably take a step back and think for a second. If you were reading a joke like that about something you put a lot of hard work into, would you appreciate it? Or would it come across dismissive?
You have the benefit of knowing your tone and intention. No one can read tone on the internet.
Step back, my dude. Evaluate yourself. Realize if everyone is reading your first post as passive aggressive or just aggressive aggressive, maybe you came out swinging too hard.
You can always drop the bat, be like, hey sorry, and just walk away from the plate. You don’t need to keep swinging with statements like ‘maybe my post wasn’t the problem, maybe you’re all the problem and I should be the one concerned!’
idk, guys. i have everyone i’d want now on this board.
honestly, seeing everyone come together to help out herja healed any last bit of anger for me? weirdly? so thank you, everyone who helped and said nice words and herja herself for putting her trust in us.
now i’m just chilling
In trying to figure out what all was happening with these upvotes while I was gone for like AN HOUR I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS, and seeing how close I got to Hellfrog in upvotes, I discovered, I think, what truly happened with MSB and the split to BMD.
Hear me out.
It was all a conspiracy of @Tez and her Illuminati clique. Look at her upvote ranking here on BMD:
Now look at her ranking on MSB:
I think it was all her!! She caused it all!!! To improve her rankings!
@eddie I would argue that a problem with staff and the Head of Staff is, in itself, a game problem. It’s a fundamental problem with the game.
@Cobalt these tactics have worked on me in the past too, when i was insecure with my place on a game, etc. find the right target, and they do work. and most of the time, even with a bad target, most won’t report you because they’ll second guess if you actually meant what you said the way they read, etc. or if it is reported, you can often spin it into things like ‘oh she’s just upset because i asked not to have a relationship with her’ like the dude tried to do.
but the hobby is getting smarter. we have a lot of good admins and smarter players. these guys better fucking change or perish, i guess.
I just found out some horrible news, while in Chicago with a bunch of friends at a con. It’s really hard to process right now. I’m just really devastated and wish I were home.
Ok, if Lotherio can post about my bannings on a forum I can’t post on, then I can post about the bannings on a forum that they aren’t part of (yet, though they could be if they wanted to be).
Like, honestly, the fact that they’re posting that people deserved bans and then followed it up by saying they’ve been on vacation, therefor probably missed the posts in the hogpit that got people banned? Frustrating.
I literally got banned for saying people didn’t deserve to be banned for replying to the thread and that Ganymede should lock the thread. That was it. I didn’t attack anyone or even break the rule of not talking about the war in Ba Sing Se. Just suggesting to lock the thread.