Asking for RP
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@bear_necessities Absolutely! I get that, and one thing that does make me frown is something that happened just recently. When someone asked me for RP (heh!) and I said sure, then they needed me to come up with the place, the reason, the setting, everything. It’s not that big a deal really, but it did make me frown a little.
But assuming a request of ‘who would like to RP?’ means that the other people need to come up with the details feels like an incorrect expectation to me. I’m more than willing to come up with the scene, I just want to know who’s in so I can work with the available character hooks etc before I plan out what’s going down.
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I sort of wish we could somehow separate ‘scene heavy lifting’ and ‘asking for RP’, in that I know personally I have zero problems coming up with something to do on the fly in like 99% of the situations – it is a Skill, but it is also a skill I know not everyone has. Culturally, we discourage people from paging for RP if they don’t have that ability in a moment, but damn, I have WAY WAY WAY more of a problem asking to RP at all than I do with coming up with scenes/getting things set and moving.
It would be nice of could like normalize “hey I’m happy to RP but I don’t quite have the oomph to set scene today” without it coming across as passive aggressive as it does. Or, sulky, or whatever it is. Because I bet there are people that would ask to RP, and people that would be happy to set if they were asked, and right now there’s no good way to introduce those two groups.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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I’m a lazy fucking coward who only ever asks most people once and is constantly hyper-aware that I may be pulled away by any number of real life landmines.
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I am shy about asking for rp unless I have a concrete reason to do so, in which case i have zero shame. I think it also depends on game culture for me; on Ares, no problem asking on rp requests, while on some other games you have to pm anyone you want a scene with, and that’s kind of nerve-wracking if it’s just a random approach. Still, I’ve pretty much gotten over the anxiety of it and tend to just go for it with varying levels of success. It’s harder on games that have been around a while, because typically, people have long-term rp circles there and I find those are the ones who usually don’t respond.
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I’m not always great at coming up with things to do myself, but I can find a spot and set something ‘generic’ easily enough. I probably came across a bit harsher on ‘not coming up with things’ than intended in my previous example, it was just one particular recent occurance that stuck with me.
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This whole thread about ‘overinflicting’ is just like… saaaammee.
I get so excited when I see people log in/pop active that I’m just like ‘omgomgomg I thought of like 5 things that might be fun to RP while you were doing sensible things like sleeping (because opposite sides of the planet) can weeeee?’ as the other person is still trying to wake up and get to a point of functioning and I’m watching this window of availability tick down to the point where I have to go to sleep and I feel like I’m being a lot extra and the bag of over caffeinated squirrels that is my brain is just like whoa you need to chill or you’re going to burn everyone out.
So as such I try NOT to be ‘that person’ that is like constantly jumping on people begging to scene the second they log in but a lot of the time I’m sitting on my hands trying SO HARD not to squirrel.
Definitely related: Ares is a godsend for being able to stay ‘involved’ when you’re in an off-peak timezone.
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@Artemis said in Asking for RP:
I am shy about asking for rp unless I have a concrete reason to do so, in which case i have zero shame.
For sure this, I struggle as is with RP without like an end point or general focus around it. Probably from RPing before and the main topics were like, the weather. Flavour of tea and the weather again. Plus there’s that feeling of “omg what if they are bored and watching Netflix on the main.”
Or I end up paging, asking how someone is doing. End up talking about the dog, the cat and what is for dinner. It’s been like an hour and I forgot to ask about RPing.
Current Projects:
Twitch -> https://www.twitch.tv/dukewhisky
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@Whisky said in Asking for RP:
Flavour of tea
Bergamot is the superior flavour extract in tea. I will fight anyone who disagrees.
ETA:
To the topic at hand, though, I find asking for RP easy. When I’m in a certain mood, when the planets are aligned correctly, and assuming I’m fully medicated.
Like a few of the above folks, I believe that if you’re the one asking, you should also be the one with at least a suggestion of what to do. It’s like asking me around to your house but having no idea what you want to do when I get there. It’s frustrating.
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I don’t often suggest what to do when I ask for RP. On Atharia I do something like ‘If there is an NPC you want to interact with, let me know.’ or I say we can do something related to X plot or exploration. I’m also a wing it kind of girl. Like plots I run the only things I plan are what my end goal is and to make sure everyone in the scene gets a moment to shine. So, I’m an example of what drives most of you nuts.
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I spent way too long writing a couple paragraphs reflecting on my struggles with asking for RP, and RP in general. And then I was like ‘fuck it, no one wants to read this shit’ and deleted them.
Which is an accurate representation of my struggles with asking for RP, and RPing in general.
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@Floof said in Asking for RP:
Which is an accurate representation of my struggles with asking for RP, and RPing in general.
I feel this.
I do think it’s ironic though. Most of us lament not finding enough RP, and yet so many of us (myself included) feel bad about asking for it, like it’s not the main reason people are there. Kinda counterproductive when you think about it.
There have been so many tools available for folks through the years - RP request channels, Looking for RP flags, idling on grid, open public scenes in Ares… I wish there were some kind of magic system that would make things easier, but I think it’s a human thing more than a code thing.
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@Faraday said in Asking for RP:
but I think it’s a human thing more than a code thing
But code is there to make up for humans! Code us a way to have fun without relying on other huma… oh that’s just video games.
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I went into my current rp group knowing no one and by telling myself that it was going to be what I made of it and nothing more. It’s mostly turned out rewarding, but I still get the feeling of being tired of asking, sometimes, even having set my own expectations from the start.
Part of that is because some people got into the habit of asking me back, and others just… didn’t. It’s easier to ask for a first scene out of the blue than it is to ask for a fifth scene, a month after the last time, with little contact in between. For me, anyway. It’s those ones that stick when I start feeling burnt out on initiating.
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To be honest, one of the reasons I ask more than I answer is that often the person asking for RP on a RP Requests channel is someone I don’t want to RP with. If I ask, I can be pickier.
Additionally, I’ve always felt like the common etiquette is that whoever asks for RP sets. Maybe this is wrong!
as previously stated, good day.
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@farfalla It drives me crazy when someone pages me “Hey I have something I need to scene with you about, are you around right now?” And I say yes and go IC and then first thing OOC is something like “Okay, figure out a reason for us to be meeting.”
What!? You asked me! You said you had something! Why am I now on the hook!?
That said I rarely ask people for RP. I tend to just sit out on grid hopeful that someone will come along. That’s why I like running events, you just throw it out there that people can show up at a certain time and then then do!
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@DrQuinn It’s even ‘better’ when you do try figuring out a reason only to have every single one of your suggestions shot down because it wouldn’t be ‘in character’ for them, while they continue to refuse to offer any of their own ideas.
Bonus points if when you give up trying they get upset at you for not being willing to be flexible for the sake of RP.
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@DrQuinn said in Asking for RP:
I tend to just sit out on grid hopeful that someone will come along.
I tend to do this, too. Though I broadcast on channels “There’s RP happening at X.” With the assumption that people will find their own reasons for coming to X.
It seems relatively effective. Honestly, if you can’t come up with a reason why your character wouldn’t be at X, Y, Z, or Q regular haunts that my character goes to… then you probably aren’t the kind of person I want to RP with anyway.
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@farfalla said in Asking for RP:
I’ve always felt like the common etiquette is that whoever asks for RP sets. Maybe this is wrong!
No, it’s absolutely common etiquette*. I wish it would die in a fire though; this is part of what I was referencing. I wish we could decouple it, because now if somebody doesn’t feel up to setting, they don’t ask for RP. There are plenty of people (me included!) who don’t mind setting, so this is just…money left on the table, basically. It is RP that could have been had! But it didn’t, because they thought I would want them to set!
- in some circles
the entity previously known as Sunny
