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Underage Players
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I was definitely one of those kids that was online and RPing before 18, not disclosing (and occasionally lying about) how old I was, and occasionally engaging in explicit RP. Mostly mildly explicit RP which was maybe a few steps ahead of what I was doing in real life at that age. Again, as mentioned above, “exploring”.
One of the major differences that I see now, though, besides just me being one of the “olds” and getting to shake a “do as I say, not as I did!” stick at the youngin’s…
IIRC, most of the people I was playing with were either people about my own age who were doing the exact same thing, like my now-husband and several other friends I made, or people who were in their early to mid-twenties. There was a pretty core 18-25 demographic on the game I was on at the time with some players being older than that, but not many. I remember many of us thinking that Conrad Hubbard, who was responsible for the servers at White Wolf, was a cranky old man despite the fact that he was several years younger than I currently am and I’m still in my thirties.
Compare that to the age demographics on most games now. Most of the players I encounter are in their late 30s to their early 50s, with some folks in the far ranges of the bell curve. I think I’ve run into exactly two people who are working on their undergraduate degrees in my last six or so years of playing. (And the thought of someone my age romancing their character still made me cringe, despite the fact that they’re a few years past legal age.)
So I’m not advocating for underage players being allowed on games, but the mental prospect of a 17 year old hanging out with a bunch of 45 year olds squicks me out way, way more than my memories of being 17 and hanging out with 22 year olds does. I think that discrepancy does a lot to explain the mindset shift we’re seeing even in people who were doing the exact same thing themselves back in the day.
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@Aria said in Underage Players:
I think I’ve run into exactly two people who are working on their undergraduate degrees in my last six or so years of playing.
Which isn’t a very good judgement of someone’s age, jussayin’. In Australia, at least, the rate of people entering undergraduate programs at 25+ is on a steady rise.
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
@Pavel said in Underage Players:
@Aria said in Underage Players:
I think I’ve run into exactly two people who are working on their undergraduate degrees in my last six or so years of playing.
Which isn’t a very good judgement of someone’s age, jussayin’. In Australia, at least, the rate of people entering undergraduate programs at 25+ is on a steady rise.
Ohh, I finished mine at 30. But no, these players are both absolutely tradiational college kids who are, like, 20-22.
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I have no issue with underage players exploring themes much like a lot of us did. Sometimes they are exploring parts of their identity and this does seem safer. I’m not going politics but at least in the U.S. we aren’t exactly moving towards a welcoming arena of exploration. If you know, then you you know. If you don’t, count yourself lucky.
HOWEVER
I also don’t want to be an adult who has a logs of my character (not that I log) engaging in an activity with a person I didn’t know was underage. Then for it to come out in my RL area as well. There are very RL things that can happen depending on your job (especially if government is involved) or your life or other things. I mean look how we’ve seen people twist real lives between adults – now add that aspect and just Nope. Gonna nope right out.
That’s my take mind you. I mean I also know that I lied about my age IRL. I had a fake ID. I did things. I saw things, but still on this side… yeah. I’d ban them, but that’s all that could be done I think. It’s very complicated on both sides.
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For a long time I’ve wondered how people didn’t figure out that I was a 14 year old masquerading as a 19 year old when I starting MUSHing. It’s probably more likely that it’s not that they were just oblivious or didn’t realize it, but that the people I played with at that time and I were all four edgy teenagers in a trenchcoat pretending to be adults in a Sabbat pack. I guess the real Masquerade was the friends we made along the way.
@Pavel said in Underage Players:
@Aria said in Underage Players:
I think I’ve run into exactly two people who are working on their undergraduate degrees in my last six or so years of playing.
Which isn’t a very good judgement of someone’s age, jussayin’. In Australia, at least, the rate of people entering undergraduate programs at 25+ is on a steady rise.
This is also fairly common in the US, from what I’ve seen while working on my PhD and doing community mental health work with emerging adults (recently anyway). And look, I don’t want to get into politics or blaming everything on certain economic principles like I tend to do, but in this case we have a very bloated and unwieldy educational system that ties into all of the other systemic issues in the States, which goes beyond the undergrad level. Shit, at Stanford they recently built these (actually pretty nice) “low income housing units” for the postdocs to live in. However, what Stanford didn’t realize is that the management company they hired to rent these apartments out have disqualified nearly all of their postdocs due to lack of income from Stanford.
Mind you, this area is exceedingly unaffordable, like I live in a place that’s notably considered to be a bad area and I’m still paying an exorbitant amount, but rising costs of education alongside rising costs of housing have made it hard for people to get into school without either getting tied up in loans, getting good enough grades/being good enough at sports to get scholarships, or working full time while going to school, so it would make sense to save money for a while.
Anyway! Yeah, kids in games. I would prefer to not have it happen. It’s extremely hard to enforce. As far as I know we didn’t ban anyone who was underage on the Reach or Metro2, I wasn’t staff at Fallcoast long enough to really learn, but I’m 100% sure that there were people who were underage and kept it to themselves. The question is how to detect someone underaged. In the case of SH I guess the player outed themselves, but it’s hard to count on that.
they/them
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When it comes to enforcement, you just do what you can. Make a rule to point to (and cover your own ass with), and if it comes up, then you politely explain why they’re being removed and just remove 'em. Gently.
Overthinking things and burdening yourself with too much responsibility isn’t gonna be helpful. There’s a point at which it isn’t your job and becomes a parent/guardian supervision issue. You’re not responsible for that.
Additionally, if you’re going to twist yourself into knots over potentially playing with kids… you’re absolutely potentially going to be playing with kids. It’s not a guarantee that you are, but anyone you meet on the internet could be anyone. So, if that risk hits your threshold, that’s up to you to think about and act on. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to that.
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I mean everyone here is getting a picture of a photo id and today’s newspaper before engaging in TS, right?
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@shit-piss-love said in Underage Players:
I mean everyone here is getting a picture of a photo id and today’s newspaper before engaging in TS, right?
I just ask if they know what a newspaper is. It’s faster, and more accurate.
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@shit-piss-love said in Underage Players:
I mean everyone here is getting a picture of a photo id and today’s newspaper before engaging in TS, right?
Something better–
Brb, starting an OnlyFans but for TS
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@KarmaBum My oldest has been playing in Discord servers for a while, and these kids are ruthless about policing their safe spaces and will bounce an adult faster than you can blink.
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@Raaspra thank you for sharing that. It is reassuring. 🥰
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I really appreciate everybody taking the time to engage with the topic and giving some really helpful and interesting answers.
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@somasatori said in Underage Players:
For a long time I’ve wondered how people didn’t figure out that I was a 14 year old masquerading as a 19 year old when I starting MUSHing.
People didn’t notice I was a 9-year-old masquerading as a 17-year-old, people are dumb as fuck.
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Hi. I figured I’d come out of the woodwork for this post because it feels pretty relevant to me, since I started rping around 13 and only came of age a couple years ago. RP has single-handedly been one of the most cathartic outlets for my creativity, personality, and sexuality, and also one of the most emotionally taxing. I genuinely don’t think I’d be who I am without years of rp under my belt, but I also would have avoided tons of unnecessary stress and a lot of very real hurt. As a kid, I lacked the mental and emotional bandwidth to handle some of the heavier situations that arise in these spaces, not just abuse, but general bleed and vicarious feelings. I think it’s especially easy for kids who don’t have much of a social life to immerse themselves way too deeply, so instead of a hobby it becomes a coping mechanism. Obv this isn’t an age-specific issue, but people of lower maturity level are certainly more susceptible.
So, on one hand, rp was integral to my development as a person, but on the other, it kinda fucked me up and I’ve had to reevaluate my relationship with it recently. Collaborative writing can have such a beautiful and powerful impact, but I’d say underage people should stick to spaces with others in their age range, and if they are caught on an 18+ game, turn them away with an invitation to return later. -
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@Artemis Thank you! I’m really glad to get the perspective of someone still very young. I’m sorry you went through the stress and hurt parts (which I can empathize with, even though I’m older and was never so young in the hobby) but I’m glad you could find the positivity you could in the environment, as well.
I appreciate your input very much.
