Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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I am home now, since Sunday evening, and I keep crying on and off. I woke up crying this morning.
About five months ago, I left my previous job for my new one. But I left a lot of people that I was really close to for seven years. You spend 1/3rd of your day with the same people, and you grow super close to them. It’s why some people get joking referred to as work husbands, work wives.
My work husband passed away on Friday, from a heart attack. I don’t know any better thing to call him. We ate lunch together almost every day for seven years, we worked together, we bitched about our work and joked and shared everything. We worked out together, we had holidays together. And now he’s gone and the pandemic took so much time away from us, pushing everyone into isolation that I let stay because I was tired and lazy.
This pandemic is hard. It’s rough. We have all been constantly on edge for years. But, we should all be making more time for people and things we love.
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@Meg I’m so so so sorry. If you need to talk I’m here for you. You have always been awesome in my book when we have run into each other!
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Greetings!
I’m going to post this and I’m already feeling awkward about it and let me say I mean it in a positive way. I hope the perception is also the intention.
I play one game, but I’ve played with a lot of you over the past year. On MSB, I posted that the ADHD struggles (and some here that spawned this), I was going through. I’m on a great path with a great doctor and the last few months have been where I’ve ‘regulated’ more.
So what am I typing about? I’m sorry. I just want to say that I didn’t realize a lot of times how badly I was misjudging my phrasing, my humor, my intensity, and my reactions to things. I didn’t realize how my emotions were deregulated, etc.
If you were involved in any of these (as players, staff, etc) you know what I mean. The last month (and hopefully forwards) I’ve felt a huge change in how my brain is processing. I am not excusing anything I said or did (and really I don’t think they were like EVIL bad), but I legit did not know. This has always been my brain and I didn’t realize not everyone’s functioned this way until this year and the last few months.
So I am very sorry to any that I crossed lines with, made inappropriate jokes OOC, or anything else.
Thanks for reading!
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@RightMeow said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
but I’ve played with a lot of you over the past year
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Well I mean…
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@RightMeow In seriousness, I applaud your strength to acknowledge past missteps and your ability to take responsibility for them rather than taking the easy path and blaming the disorder. Well done.
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@RightMeow Honestly, I relate hard to this. Now if I could just remember to take my meds every day I bet I would relate to it even more.
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LOL - the irony of this is – I forgot to take my meds today.
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@RightMeow there was a meme going around the book of faces about how ADHD people lack the ability to form habits when we aren’t taking our meds so then we don’t take our habit-forming medication to form the habit of taking our meds and I was like
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it
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@RightMeow as someone who once had to be pulled aside by staff on a game about how my internet ‘tone’ was coming off, and I’m not even ADHD, I sympathize so much with this. I don’t think we played together, but hopefully those that played with you and might have felt any offense will see this!
Also, I’m glad you are getting help!
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Thank you. I figure that just because I didn’t know, doesn’t mean I didn’t do it. I can’t undo it either, so it’s just moving forwards. My hope is anyone that I left a sour taste in their mouth, they realize it was all me (and my brain) and I really, really, really did not mean it personal and I did not mean to offend.
When I do mean to offend, I own that too.
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@RightMeow YAY! Glad to hear you are doing better!
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I’m about to get tested for ADHD. If it turns out I have it, I will hunt you down, @RightMeow, for advice. I am so clueless.
Any pronouns. Come to Chincoteague. We have ponies. http://keys.aresmush.com
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@L-B-Heuschkel Don’t worry. So are most medical professionals.
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@L-B-Heuschkel said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
I’m about to get tested for ADHD. If it turns out I have it, I will hunt you down, @RightMeow, for advice. I am so clueless.
I (and my psych provider) swear by How to ADHD on youtube. Very digestible, helpful, and relatable.
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@hellfrog Could you post a link? That title seems vague enough to feature many options.
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Absolutely!
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@hellfrog Thank you. I’ll definitely take a look at it. It’d be ironic to get diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 51, after all these years of being called lazy, stupid, and unfocused.
Any pronouns. Come to Chincoteague. We have ponies. http://keys.aresmush.com
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@L-B-Heuschkel said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
@hellfrog Thank you. I’ll definitely take a look at it. It’d be ironic to get diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 51, after all these years of being called lazy, stupid, and unfocused.
I got diagnosed at 39 and IDK you but just from that sentence alone, I say: welcome.
Just knowing was a big help on its own, to start unlearning all that internalized criticism. It’s a process.
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@hellfrog Yeah. I’m kind of hoping because it’s been a long time since gave up on even going to college and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m no dumber than the next person, I just have chronic fatigue and struggle to focus for long.
