Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent

[Floof]

I was just wishing we had the ADHD thread again because I wanted to yell at someone that my insurance approved my assessment so I get to be assessed!

I was just reading some old livejournal posts recently, and I was an even more embarrassingly hot mess than I am now. I relate so much with wanting to apologize to the people who had to deal with me before I grew any sense of self awareness.

But also thank you to the people who could look at me and be like… yeah, I could friend that.

[IoleRae]

@Floof

I am so happy to hear about the assessment! I hope it goes well! I recommend enlisting the aid of a get-me-to-appt reminder buddy JUST IN CASE.

[Testament]

I saw Defones and Gojira last night. Didn’t get home till about 1am. I was sweaty, dirty with a slightly bloodied lip. I was exhausted, but had a great time. I didn’t realize I had so much pent up rage I had inside me that I had been holding in the last few months, especially this last month. And I just…got it all out. Or at least, a lot of it. All that pain and frustration. The anger. Every time I got shoved or elbowed or my feet stomped within the swirling, churning mass of bodies in the mosh pit. Another bit of everything I felt being expunged. Not only what I have dealt with in my life, but what I have dealt with by other people in the mushing community. There was, and I’ve felt it before, when your instincts kick in and you let your primal lizard brain do the driving.

I’m sore today. Very sore. Very bruised. My lip is swollen(it was accidental elbow to the face, the guy that did it felt really bad, it was a good crowd helping people up who fall down in the pit). My body is not what it once was when I was younger, getting black eyes at a Pantera concert.

I’m not better, but I feel better. Or rather, I feel better today. So much of the anger is gone, left behind with raving and howling in the exhilaration of overwhelming sound and bass that makes your entire body vibrate from soundwaves and reverb.

I hurt today, a lot, but it’s a hurt that’s okay.

[IoleRae]

@Testament

Best news I’ve had all day. Thank you for sharing.

[GF]

I want my belly to be smaller.

My belly wants me to feed it a whole package of Oreos.

Life should not be like this.

[Jumpscare]

@GF said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

I want my belly to be smaller.

My belly wants me to feed it a whole package of Oreos.

Life should not be like this.

I feel that struggle. My motto is that as long as it’s delicious, it’s worth it. The worst feeling is overeating on something that isn’t even good.

[GF]

@Jumpscare I don’t even like Oreos, is the hell of it.

[Jumpscare]

[Rathenhope]

My GP has completely screwed me on medication and I’m absolutely furious.

Backstory, about 2 years ago I went private for mental health care because the UK’s mental health care is pretty terrible. In doing so I was diagnosed with ADHD and started on medication. Once I was stable, the psychiatrist entered into a shared care agreement with my GP at the time - this means the GP prescribes on the psych’s advice, so I don’t have to pay private prescription rates.

At the beginning of this year I moved and so moved GPs. As part of that a new shared care agreement needed to be entered into, which the psych duely sent off to the new GP. For the first month the GP happily prescribed me the medication. This month they managed to only prescribe half of it and then contacted me to tell me they couldn’t prescribe it at all (and acted very surprised when they found out they’d already prescribed me some).

So when I actually spoke to the GP they were like ‘oh, we can’t prescribe outside of a shared care agreement and we don’t have one from your psych’, and when I poitned out they’d had a letter a month ago suddenly ‘oh yes, here it is, but we don’t normally enter into private shared care agreements, so you’ll have to be referred to the NHS mental health team which can take upwards of two months’.

So when I asked what I was supposed to do without half my medication her response was ‘oh you’ve started taking it already?’. I’ve been stable on it for over a year with no changes to the medication, which a simple glance at my file would have told her. So not only are they saying they won’t enter into a private shared care agreement, they didn’t actually check my notes before making that decision, never responded to the shared care agreement request, and never told me that this was the case before it came time to request my medication, so rather than giving me time to arrange a private prescription they’re leaving me half a dose down for at least a week, because it’s a bank holiday on Thursday and Friday so even if I can get the prescription request in by tomorrow I won’t get it until at least late next week.

I guess I’m lucky that ADHD medication isn’t one of those drugs you have to keep up a dose in your system at all times, but jesus fucking christ, the next two weeks are going to be rough.

I’m waiting on a call back today to see if they’ll ‘make an exception because I’m stable on the medication’ which they could have done a month ago, but either way I’m putting a complaint in.

[Narson]

@Rathenhope

[GF]

@Rathenhope Everyone makes mistakes, but that sounds like a special level of indifferent incompetence.

[hellfrog]

incompetence AND indifference, and that’s just not acceptable when your health is on the line.

[Meg]

Life feels /really/, /really/ unfair sometimes. The month of May has been just-- exhausting. We had to put our 3 year old puppy down, and then a week and a half later, I lost my friend who was so young.

Last week, my best friend’s dad passed away, two years into his retirement. He’s my second dad; he referred to me as his second daughter and probably cared about me way more than my real dad ever did.

He was a bit of a collector. We have just been cleaning and organizing since then, as well as dealing with funeral arrangements and trying to figure out probate and everything. The only highlight in all of this is the cool shit we found that he saved, so I’ll share that with you guys:

A lambda 8300 personal computer
A Timex-Sinclair 1000 personal computer
Every issue since Apr 1977 (the first) of Heavy Metal magazine (which is a misleading title but super cool)
The full box sets of 5 inch floppies of (with boxes and all the manuals and everything):
Worlds of Ultima: The Savage Empire
Ultima Worlds of Adventure: Martian Dreams
A huge box of weed seeds that he must have been saving from every bag he bought, for his daughter to bake with

This isn’t half of it, but they are some cool things of a lot of cool things he had. I am just so super sad and heart sore that he didn’t get to enjoy his hobbies longer. You work so long to retire to enjoy your life and it just-- Idk, I hurt right now.

Take care, guys. I’ll be back when I’m back!

[Nynrose]

@Testament All I can say is that grief is the ugly bastard that keeps on giving. Just remember to be gentle with yourself as it happens and the only way is through. Take it one second, one moment, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. The pain slowly fades over time, but it never quite goes away. It also catches up with you at the least inopportune or unexpected moments. There’s no limit to grief and do not let anyone try to tell you to just ‘get over it’. It’s not that simple and people who haven’t experienced deep grief don’t understand. And, even though they stay there are stages to grief, and there might be, the truth is that it’s all a bit scribbled mess that goes all over the place. You are learning to find your footing to be the new you without this person in your life, in whatever capacity, because you’ll never be the old you before their passing again.

[RightMeow]

@Meg

Upvote because I can’t RL hug.

I’m sorry hon. If you need anything, even if you want to just rant senseless in a private message. Feel free.

I’ll send good vibes your way.

[GF]

Say your neighbor has a smoke detector whose batteries need replacing and you can hear it chirping through your walls. Say it’s been chirping through your walls for a week. Is it okay to knock and ask them to please replace the battery?

[Floof]

@GF said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

Say your neighbor has a smoke detector whose batteries need replacing and you can hear it chirping through your walls. Say it’s been chirping through your walls for a week. Is it okay to knock and ask them to please replace the battery?

I’d probably contact maintenance or management to explain the situation, but I’m terrified of knocking on doors, and our maintenance guy is nice.

[Jumpscare]

@GF If it’s after a certain time at night, it might qualify as a noise complaint. So I don’t see any problem in asking first.

[TNP]

@GF If you want to be nice about it in a way they probably won’t take offense at…

“Hi. I’ve been hearing your smoke detector chirping the last few days and thought you might need a battery…” hold up battery

[Testament]

Giving a small update on things. I wrote my first plot synopsis for Seven Nations in a while, as well as threads for two different plots. It’s nice to be able to write without feeling like I’m taxing myself. Looking back now at the last month, I see a lot of points where I could’ve been better, but with the realization that I knew when to ask for help when I did. I think it’s good to continue to take accountability for things I’ve said, but not be prisoned by them.

The guilt and memory remain, and I still believe it will for a long time. But I think it’s more…manageable? I can’t think of a better word for it. Where the coping with loss becomes something you’re used to. I don’t believe that’s something anyone should have to acclimatize to, but. It does.

Still, things are getting better. And thanks to those who reached out to me. I appreciate the support.