Inuki Ban Thread
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Thanks. That was deeply gross. I hope that person finds their better self away from this space. May they prosper in their lands etc.
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As someone that has lost a few to suicide and drugs due to depression. That was not cool. I hope they get help or find something else to focus on. Pretend fun time, should not cause you to feel that way.
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Didnāt she have at least one other account too where she pretended it wasnāt her but it was definitely her?
Edited to add: I think it was chookitypok right?
MORE EDITS: Nevermind, sheās that on Ares not here.
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@DrQuinn Yes, sheās also known as jujube (which I think her last account was)
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I appreciate you banning Inuki. It was never my intention when sharing this story for things to go this way and I absolutely do not wish any real life or ooc harm on anyone in our community.
It becomes complicated now to talk about, as the story I shared was really just the tip of the iceberg. I wasnāt sure if I was going to share it or not and it mostly came to me from reports from other people who I trust.
Even now, I am like I donāt really want to go too much more into it in case they turn out to be serious about the possibility of self-harm.
What I will say though is that when people in mushing talk about suicide in response to complaints about them or their behavior, they are likely being manipulative in one of the most toxic of ways.
I read part of the other thread on her just now and can see that the pattern of hating female players and creeping on male players lines up.
Even giving out scars to pretty female characters when she is storytelling seems to be a pattern.
Eirik has a well-documented history of sexual harassment. The odds that he was totally the innocent victim of Anya slandering him are low. Even if Anya made mistakes and went back to him, she should be able to report her concerns to staff without being slut-shamed.
This situation with Inuki brings to light that is it not only male players who act creepy and it is not only female players who are the victim of such.
Imagine if male staffer was posting up pictures of topless, or naked or showering female celebs done by AI? It being a woman doing it about men, doesnāt make it any less cringe.
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At the very least and most sympathetic, to me itās an indication an environment is exacerbating someoneās issues and they are best removed from it.
Itās not my job to publicly engage in the least sympathetic reading of a person I donāt know and have never interacted with on a game. Prosper in their lands, etc.
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i have to admit, i feel like this is a situation where it deserved at least a warning. i get that the behavior was gross. i called it out as gross.
but i think thereās a line where like, idk, i think that it wasnāt a clear cut āwould i expect to get banned for this if it were meā in the rules.
of course, iām not a mod and i donāt make these calls and i understand it can be frustrating to make these calls and no call is going to make everyone happy. thatās my disclaimer. just speaking an opinion, even if it is from the minority.
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@Mushling-0 i also donāt find it appropriate to drag in her GMing/game stuff into this thread, tbh. this is discussing her behavior here on the forum.
sorry for double post.
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@Meg I appreciate you saying so and being willing TO say so. Thatās why these threads exist.
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@Meg said in Inuki Ban Thread:
i have to admit, i feel like this is a situation where it deserved at least a warning. i get that the behavior was gross. i called it out as gross.
but i think thereās a line where like, idk, i think that it wasnāt a clear cut āwould i expect to get banned for this if it were meā in the rules.
of course, iām not a mod and i donāt make these calls and i understand it can be frustrating to make these calls and no call is going to make everyone happy. thatās my disclaimer. just speaking an opinion, even if it is from the minority.
tbh, Iām of the opinion that this (the ban) was warranted. Much like how some games have banned players for their behavior in other places, that felt applicable here. It was really pretty apparent, from multiple threads, that this personās behavior has involved multiple questionable decisions and comments at best, with questionable intent attached to them.
Thereās jokes in bad taste (Iām certainly guilty of these), and then thereās threats of self-harm and violence, however implied or circumspect. You should never treat the latter lightly, as I see it. Combined with what Iāve read of inukiās past, receipted behavior, and that was enough for me to agree that they needed to be removed, because inuki struck me as a ācanāt stop wonāt stopā mindset, even if there were time gaps between events.
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I agree with Meg and believe that I shouldnāt have brought things about her game or behavior on her game to this thread.
I emphasize with Megās viewpoint on the banning and frankly would rather have her still here to give her voice to the discussion as I have more to say and more receipts. I am not comfortable continuing much further with her being gone and because of her response that included suicide.
I do think it was best she was banned as a safe conversation, debate or argument cannot be had regarding her game or behavior on her game when she drops suicide into the conversation. I donāt think it is safe for her or for anyone debating with her to keep her involved in the conversation any longer.
Another possible reason it is unsafe to keep her around is she hunts down those she dislikes across games and venues. She goes under several difference aliases and identities.
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@dvoraen said in Inuki Ban Thread:
@Meg said in Inuki Ban Thread:
i have to admit, i feel like this is a situation where it deserved at least a warning. i get that the behavior was gross. i called it out as gross.
but i think thereās a line where like, idk, i think that it wasnāt a clear cut āwould i expect to get banned for this if it were meā in the rules.
of course, iām not a mod and i donāt make these calls and i understand it can be frustrating to make these calls and no call is going to make everyone happy. thatās my disclaimer. just speaking an opinion, even if it is from the minority.
tbh, Iām of the opinion that this (the ban) was warranted. Much like how some games have banned players for their behavior in other places, that felt applicable here. It was really pretty apparent, from multiple threads, that this personās behavior has involved multiple questionable decisions and comments at best, with questionable intent attached to them.
Mm, donāt totally agree there. Games do preban, or ban based on behavior on other games, but the forums generally havenāt. I think theyāre pretty different venues with different risks.
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Hereās my take and why was relieved to see this ban come down.
I donāt care what Inuki has done on games. But she sure keeps doing things on games that get talked about in forums like this and that will likely continue to be.
I think dropping something like āI see why people want to commit suicide when people say mean things about them onlineā (ā¦sourced things and screenshots that were specifically about stuff she did on a game, they didnāt read like personal attacks to me) is a nuclear bomb on a conversation. There is no response to it a decent person can make. You either take it at face value and stop sayingā¦sourced things regarding what a person has done that are relevant and ongoing and what the forum is pretty much designed to airā¦or donāt, suggest it might be a manipulation tactic designed to nuke a conversation. Except you canāt do that, really, I donāt think, because the 1% chance something like that might be genuine is too disturbing to to give my oxygen to. I donāt feel like thereās a place to go from here.
FWIW a rule about āyouāll be given a ban for your own good and the good of other posters if you say a post has made you have suicidal thoughtsā is umm fine.
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@Third-Eye I mostly disagree about creating a rule regarding mentions of suicide and bans. Suicide is a health problem, and health problems canāt be treated as having a āone size fits allā solution. A rule that anyone who mentions suicide in this or that context may help people who need to take a step back, but it may also harm people who are genuinely reaching out to a group of friends or a community they feel safe mentioning their problems to.
I think these kinds of problems have to be dealt with on a case by case basis rather than with some sweeping policy. But at the same time, I say I mostly disagree because I can see someone arguing that my position puts the forumās moderators into the position of being de facto health care providers for people experiencing the most harrowing, intractable health problems imaginable, and Iām pretty sure none of them signed up for that job.
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I think thereās a real difference between āI am having thoughts of self harmā posts and āif I kill myself its your faultā posts. And Iām fine with the latter being a ban-worthy offense.
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@DrQuinn Oh, definitely in this case the mods did the right thing. Whether the implied threat was sincere or not, it was still a death threat against a member of this community, and I think thatās unacceptable even if the death threat is against oneself. Iām only putting in my two cents about rules regarding health issues, and hopefully Iām also acknowledging that I canāt and wonāt judge if the admins do not choose to accept the responsibility of another personās continued existence just because they want to keep a board for bitching about make-believe vampire and superhero games relatively civil.
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@DrQuinn said in Inuki Ban Thread:
I think thereās a real difference between āI am having thoughts of self harmā posts and āif I kill myself its your faultā posts. And Iām fine with the latter being a ban-worthy offense.
I agree. But neither of those two things happened here. What was said was, āWhat Iāve experienced here has given me insight as to why some people have chosen to do āthis thingā.ā
If the experience of someone here is such that it brings them to empathize with people who have taken that drastic action, is the best reaction to boot them?
I think it is obvious that this had more to do with the opinions about Inuki as an individual than the one comment that was made. But rather than just say, āWe donāt want you to interact with us anymore,ā this was made about mentioning self-harm, which I donāt think was fair to the concept of it or the sensitivity to it.
Cyberbullying is real. The feelings it inspires are real. Perfect example:
@Mushling-0 said in Inuki Ban Thread:
I emphasize with Megās viewpoint on the banning and frankly would rather have her still here to give her voice to the discussion as I have more to say and more receipts. I am not comfortable continuing much further with her being gone and because of her response that included suicide.
So even after what was expressed and Inuki being banned, thatās not enough for this person? This person still wants Inuki to be here so they can hammer her with more stuff. Like, what is gonna be enough for this person? Whatās the goal beyond emotional domination? Read the boards. Everyone agrees with you. Take the win. Give it up and go home.
Things like that which happen here are emotionally draining and takes a heavy toll on oneās mental health, especially when you hear it in an echo chamber. Is it better for Inuki to not be here? Probably. For her and for everyone else. But donāt make it about that comment.
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@Warma-Sheen said in Inuki Ban Thread:
If the experience of someone here is such that it brings them to empathize with people who have taken that drastic action, is the best reaction to boot them?
Yeah. It is when the āexperience hereā is being reminded of their own words and actions, and the sympathy is displayed to make people stop talking about their own words and actions. Go read Thirdeyeās post if this is a real question of yours.
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@Warma-Sheen said in Inuki Ban Thread:
What was said was, āWhat Iāve experienced here has given me insight as to why some people have chosen to do āthis thingā.ā
I feel like thatās an extremely generous interpretation of what she was going for there.
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i agree we can get a little echo chamber-y here, but calling this place an echo chamber in a thread where weāre literally disagreeing and arguing with each other is always the funniest thing to me.
i also agree with GF re: mentions of suicide not being an auto-ban. iād be uncomfortable with that. i get itās a sensitive topic, but its a thing some of us have struggled with for a long long time and ānot talking about itā policies that basically are pervasively silently a rule in real life isnāt great.
