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MU Peeves Thread
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@Pavel pls, i was drinking coffee when i read this.
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
All I know is that I’ve done shit and it took me multiple lessons to figure my shit out. I’ve been there. I get it. Not everyone learns the first time and to imply otherwise is a lie.
It’s not my job to be someone else’s learning experience and I don’t have to accept it or forgive it.
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@farfalla I’m talking for me in that statement, based on my own past history, not other people. If I cannot be empathetic to that, when I know that I have behaved in similar vein the past, then that makes me an asshole and a hypocrite.
Anyone else’s experiences are valid to them, along with their reactions to it. This is simply my experience and the lessons I’ve taken from it.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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You’re not a terrible person for being friends with her and giving her another chance, and I don’t think anyone thinks you are!
I think other people might be concerned that you’re judging them for not, which is why the edge-of-defensive reactions. I know you’re not actually meaning to be interpreted that way, though. These are tricky situations to navigate through for everybody.
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@IoleRae I’m not, no. That’s not my intent, and if thats hiw it comes off then i apologize. I think my main goal is doing for someone what was not done for me. Which is trying to help someone who at least seems to be aware of their issues are caused by their own actions. Self awareness is needed. Maybe I’ll get burned for that. Maybe I won’t, not up to me.
All I know is that i had to figure out my own mistakes on my own and that was a long road to betterment. I just don’t want another person that I consider a friend having to go through that by themselves. Because I know they’re not a bad person, just make bad decisions.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament As long as you knowing they’re not a bad person is also a personal opinion, then there’s nothing wrong with forgiving or giving second chances. But the people who don’t agree with you aren’t wrong, either.
The Culture of Forgiveness is strong and, imo, hugely destructive. Forgiveness is morally neutral and I will die on this hill.
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@farfalla I mean, our perspective on who’s a decent person and who isn’t is usually built by personal experiences, all of which is valid for that person. I know not everyone is going to universally agree, and thats perfectly okay. There’s still people on this site who haven’t set aside things I’ve done. And that’s fine, that’s their cross to bear at this point.
But suppose I also equate a lot of mush drama with the same scrutiny of Twitter beefs. That is to say, not nearly as relevant(yes, I know, this isn’t always the case).
So yes, forgiveness can be destructive, i agree. But I also believe it depends on the situation. The history, the evidence of changing behavior, the ability to improve, make amends, ect ect.
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@Wizz Apparently “tied to the muzzle of a double-shotted cannon and blown to bits” was a thing in the late 1700s and early 1800s.
ETA: …and Pavel got there before me.
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I sat down to maybe try figure out a character for City of Shadows and get back into the whole MUing thing again. But it has only reminded me that WoD (specifically new, but probably also old?) chargen drives me crazy.
There are so many attribute dots and skill dots to assign even for your freshly made 0exp character. Like I know that Player Characters in many RPG systems are intended to be ‘notably better than your average person’ by design, and I certainly never had a problem with it in D&D or Pathfinder. But something about the modern earth setting, or maybe the social aspect of MUs, just seems to make me want to make characters that feel like they could be normal people (who just happen to have weird supernatural powers) rather than like secretly olympic-level (m)athletes or whatever.
It’s such a silly little problem to have, but gosh darn it if it doesn’t happen to me every damn time.
Anyways, just to be doubly clear: Not an issue with City of Shadows, just me bitching about WoD chargen in general.
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Feeling like you are dropping every ball and letting everyone down sucks, even if you know life goes on. I feel like a crappy RPer anyway of late, but its frustrating to fall on my face right now in particular when rl too is just relentless.
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@mietze Please don’t feel bad because your RL is being a huge butt. We’ve all been there and are sometimes still there. It’s okay.
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@mietze I hope stuff gets better for you!
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
Feeling like you are dropping every ball and letting everyone down sucks, even if you know life goes on. I feel like a crappy RPer anyway of late, but its frustrating to fall on my face right now in particular when rl too is just relentless.
Just for the record, you are one of the kindest people with some of the most engaging writing I’ve ever met in the hobby. I know how it feels to be discontent with your own stuff and feel like you’re dragging everyone else down but please don’t, you are the best!!
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Kind of off-topic from MU* Haven drama, so posting this here as an addendum to my post on that thread.
A few days after showing the shitshow in there to the RL friend of mine who pointed out all the red flags and dog-whistles I’d missed, I was idly browsing some other MU* related Discord servers I’m in and happened to click on someone’s profile. Not the same person, but this one also happened to be littered with a whooole bunch of dog-whistles I’d previously missed.
And, to this one’s credit, I’ve shared a game and community with them for at least two years without ever having any problems with them, because I guess they generally keep their opinions to themselves, or contain them to whomever/wherever else on Discord they’re waving those signals for.
I’m really annoyed and grossed out, though, because this is someone who actually has a fairly bad reputation in said communities, whom I’d nonetheless defended, as I felt the reputation was unearned. In particular they’re well known for being a frequent collaborator of someone I’d agree is objectively awful, but my stance was always that you can’t judge someone just for who they’re friends with, especially if they’re stuck in a community where the only people who don’t exclude them are those who’ve likewise been excluded. I took pains to not feed into what I felt was an unjust narrative surrounding them, and to instead try to make them feel included, and encourage others to give them a chance. This is how they’d ended up in a shared server with me in the first place — I invited them.
I’m frustrated that I gave someone the benefit of the doubt when I shouldn’t have, and advocated on their behalf, only to now learn they’re someone who wouldn’t hesitate to spread hate about me. Considering the warnings I had, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I guess I should’ve damn well known it wasn’t a stigmatised swan.
Since a lot of the bad things I’d heard about them came from a tight-knit cadre who’d previously spread malicious and entirely untrue rumours about me — well, I think that a lot of us in this hobby have been the victims of misplaced empathy, and suspicion that skews our decisions factional instead of rational.
A multi-layered peeve from me today.
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@Kestrel said in MU Peeves Thread:
I’m frustrated that I gave someone the benefit of the doubt when I shouldn’t have, and advocated on their behalf, only to now learn they’re someone who wouldn’t hesitate to spread hate about me. Considering the warnings I had, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I guess I should’ve damn well known it wasn’t a stigmatised swan.
Man. This is a mood.
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I hate having to say ‘no’ to a request. I have an airtight reason for saying no, but it isn’t one I want to broadcast. So I said no to a perfectly pleasant person who was asking for a thing I would normally be 100% yes to. Now I worry they will think I don’t want anything to do with them when that is the furthest thing from the truth. I’m not sharing my why though. That is my business and I don’t feel bad about that.
I just feel bad someone else might feel bad.
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@junipersky In that instance, the only advice I could give would be a “no, but…” rather than a straight no. “No I don’t want to come to your slumber party, but we could do coffee instead.”
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
Alas, his thing didn’t really have an alternative, though I did shove a half dozen other names of people at him who could maybe do it.
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If you’re playing a 16-20 year old in a modern day MU*, can you at least try to be a believable member of Gen Z? I’m seeing too many ‘teen’ characters that act like 30+ year old Millennials and Gen Xs. It really breaks my immersion.
At least look up how Gen Z acts and learn some of their slang. It’s low-key cringe if you don’t. (See what I did there?)
