Bannings
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@hobos hey, I am sorry. I believe you were trying to be nice and just phrased things badly. But in the future, including ‘fairly damning’ in your opening message when you are talking to someone who has openly said that said person has lied about her and harassed her is pretty rough.
If you wanted to lead with what she had told you about Sunny/lolaRae, that may have gone over better. Like, ‘hey, this is what VK told me in regards to you, this is the logs she showed me. Would you be willing to discuss this?’. Or, idk.
Hard no. I don’t believe that this was a genuine attempt to gain insight. This was a revictimization and low-key a threat to reveal “damning information” to everyone else.
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@helvetica said in Bannings:
@hobos hey, I am sorry. I believe you were trying to be nice and just phrased things badly. But in the future, including ‘fairly damning’ in your opening message when you are talking to someone who has openly said that said person has lied about her and harassed her is pretty rough.
If you wanted to lead with what she had told you about Sunny/lolaRae, that may have gone over better. Like, ‘hey, this is what VK told me in regards to you, this is the logs she showed me. Would you be willing to discuss this?’. Or, idk.
Hard no. I don’t believe that this was a genuine attempt to gain insight. This was a revictimization and low-key a threat to reveal “damning information” to everyone else.
thank you. A lot. Like, I do not have words for how much I appreciate you saying this. Where everybody can see it.
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@helvetica maybe. Idk. Like, I don’t think the behavior was ok, but I am willing to believe in a good faith basis.
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@Meg your kindness speaks well of you, but I think in this case it is misguided. This person has been too disingenuous too many times for me to join you in the benefit of the doubt.
However, I applaud your compassionate and generous nature. I wish there were more of you in the world.
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Wow. I was really shaken by that reaction. After a little thought I decided to come back and say one last thing…
I was not threatening you, Sunny. I was explaining why I didn’t just ask you in front of everybody in this thread. Everyone keeps saying VK is lying to me, and you yourself said you were dismayed by how many people believed untruths about you, so I was giving the courtesy of a chance to tell your side of the story. I didn’t want to say what I’d heard up front because yes the thought crossed my mind that you might find it traumatizing, which I even mentioned as a reason you might not want to reply? There was a time I really respected, admired, and appreciated you. I’m sorry you felt threatened. That is all.
Had no idea you were so upset, or that you had blocked me elsewhere, and I have no intention of continuing this further.
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@hobos Thank you for not continuing this further.
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Wow. I was really shaken by that reaction. After a little thought I decided to come back and say one last thing…
I was not threatening you, Sunny. I was explaining why I didn’t just ask you in front of everybody in this thread. Everyone keeps saying VK is lying to me, and you yourself said you were dismayed by how many people believed untruths about you, so I was giving the courtesy of a chance to tell your side of the story. I didn’t want to say what I’d heard up front because yes the thought crossed my mind that you might find it traumatizing, which I even mentioned as a reason you might not want to reply? There was a time I really respected, admired, and appreciated you. I’m sorry you felt threatened. That is all.
Had no idea you were so upset, or that you had blocked me elsewhere, and I have no intention of continuing this further.
THEN STOP CONTINUING IT FURTHER
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I think if he’d led with logs I’d have felt more threatened because such things would have to have been faked. I have him blocked on multiple platforms, but had not yet blocked him here.
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@IoleRae that’s fair. I am just trying to see it from his side of like, how to approach a delicate situation like this. Of trying to get the other side of the story when you have been publicly on one side of it.
It would be rough, and there wouldn’t be a lot of ‘good’ ways to do it. I guess in the end, there wouldn’t be a way to get the other side? But I know a lot of us are here because we like hearing all sides of a story, openly.
ETA: just saw the call for frog choke memes. Consider this dropped by me too.
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If @IoleRae has anything to say here, by all means, you have every right – but otherwise, I’d ask THE REST OF US to return to frog choke memes.
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Wow. I was really shaken by that reaction. After a little thought I decided to come back and say one last thing…
I was not threatening you, Sunny. I was explaining why I didn’t just ask you in front of everybody in this thread. Everyone keeps saying VK is lying to me, and you yourself said you were dismayed by how many people believed untruths about you, so I was giving the courtesy of a chance to tell your side of the story. I didn’t want to say what I’d heard up front because yes the thought crossed my mind that you might find it traumatizing, which I even mentioned as a reason you might not want to reply? There was a time I really respected, admired, and appreciated you. I’m sorry you felt threatened. That is all.
Had no idea you were so upset, or that you had blocked me elsewhere, and I have no intention of continuing this further.
But I did tell my side of the story before you ever PMd me. SHE LIED. NONE OF IT WAS TRUE. what on earth could I possibly have said besides “what she told you is untrue”. Hearing whatever nastiness she said about me is productive how? Especially given I was very recently talking about how all of that was traumatic?
What benefit do you think there is to me to hearing somebody’s lies about me, and what on earth did you expect me to say? You believe her. It’s a lie. There isn’t a “side” to tell because the things she’s telling you didn’t happen at all.
I don’t believe you that you don’t know I have you blocked.
I get it, but there isn’t like a side. I didn’t DO anything.
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“I am so surprised by the strong reactions that I deliberately came here to stir up!”
This is why I think this guy is disingenuous AT BEST and an outright manipulator most likely.
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@IoleRae that’s fair. I am just trying to see it from his side of like, how to approach a delicate situation like this. Of trying to get the other side of the story when you have been publicly on one side of it.
It would be rough, and there wouldn’t be a lot of ‘good’ ways to do it. I guess in the end, there wouldn’t be a way to get the other side? But I know a lot of us are here because we like hearing all sides of a story, openly.
ETA: just saw the call for frog choke routines. Consider this dropped by me too.
only upvoting this for the choking
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Yeah, I’m definitely here for some frog choking right now.
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@helvetica said in Bannings:
only upvoting this for the choking
same tbh. the fucking SPECIFICITY of that gif.
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@Tez I’m confused but I love it.
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@hellfrog me too. What does buy frog to get land mean? Who knows.
Apropos to nothing, I still don’t get and will never get why Narson’s ban stood and my ban got revoked. Gany explained the logic a couple times and I’m just still baffled.
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@Meg yeah I don’t get that one at all either.
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Yikes to all that.
