@RightMeow

Okay, fair enough.

@Meg

Yeah, that is a fair enough point, and it makes sense why farfalla was unbanned in the end. Honestly I think it’d be great if everyone was unbanned and the whole community decided together to move towards a more positive attitude, getting rid of the Hog Pit and “Rough and Rowdy” sections altogether, and forgiving and forgetting when things weren’t extremely clear-cut abuse (Azazel or whatever his name is, or other serial abusers).

Edit: I can totally understand why MSB doesn’t unban everyone straight off though especially considering the behavior of one person who was unbanned and starting spewing a lot of ridiculous vitriol real fast in order to force being banned again.

@Roz

I do care that VulgarKitten lied to those people, and I feel for them, particularly one who I personally admire who was really hurt by the lies. More importantly, she is sorry about it. But I understand why she felt the need. And why she felt the need, to me, is a far more egregious breach of decency as it comes with a particular power dynamic and a particular sort of exploitative abuse.

Also, I did not read Macha’s whole conversation with farfalla, just the end. It went on too long. I think she was complaining about you being cliquish or something? They are complaints I have seen/heard before and it was really dragging so I skipped to the end. For what it’s worth, I don’t think your intentions are bad or evil or that you are purposefully being some kind of exclusive internet club.

I think that when you have a place like the Hog Pit on a community forum, this is the natural evolution of human behavior over time.

@Jumpscare

???

To me, a game runner exploiting a player for TS is pretty much always going to be worse than someone lying about who they are on the interwebs.

But that judgment seems like it’s about convenience and friendship to you, somehow?

@BloodAngel: Hah. Can’t be mad at you for that.

@Selira: Yes, nobody has to accept an apology. But forgiveness is still more freeing than holding ten-year-old grudges in a small community. And the main argument being made was that she never even apologized – but yes, she did.

Anyway this is going too fast for me to stay in. I wish you all the best, and hope old wounds can be healed without scars. Our hobby’s very small. It’d be nice to be able to be friends and forgive each other and direct our empathy to each other.

Wow. I was really shaken by that reaction. After a little thought I decided to come back and say one last thing…

I was not threatening you, Sunny. I was explaining why I didn’t just ask you in front of everybody in this thread. Everyone keeps saying VK is lying to me, and you yourself said you were dismayed by how many people believed untruths about you, so I was giving the courtesy of a chance to tell your side of the story. I didn’t want to say what I’d heard up front because yes the thought crossed my mind that you might find it traumatizing, which I even mentioned as a reason you might not want to reply? There was a time I really respected, admired, and appreciated you. I’m sorry you felt threatened. That is all.

Had no idea you were so upset, or that you had blocked me elsewhere, and I have no intention of continuing this further.

I already did enough warning and exposing for a game I was banned from and a community that (majority) really doesn’t like me. And I’ve already expressed my thoughts personally and in private to VK about what she did to Corban. This is my preferred method of discussing disgusting things, away from the value signaling and herd mentality and shaming mechanisms that often accompany public discourse. I can understand not wanting to repeat previous dynamics when trying to start over with a new slate, including animosity, but there were probably more ways to avoid romance at least.

Also sorry it was unclear and badly worded, I was not comparing anyone I barely know to my father, I was just pointing out that I have personal life experience with conflicting feelings about people (in this case admiration/disgust).

Of course I have been trying my best not to respond to people who have blocked me on other platforms, considering that I was temp banned here for revealing that I was sending messages on discord to try to figure out who had blocked me, since obviously that is something that happens without notification. And I don’t understand why anyone would block someone and then address them on a forum except for public-discourse-reasons. I’m not sad about being banned from Arx… I was when it first happened, but even then while stuck in all my feelings I could recognize that it was a good thing, not just for everybody else but also for me. I’ve had a lot of good personal growth since then and been altogether more happy.

The only thing I am still sad about is the people I thought were my friends that were lost along the way, but I still recognize that this is fine, those are their choices and their rights, and it makes me treasure the few who remain friendly all that much more. I will miss those people and I still like them and that’s why it’s a bit painful and confusing but I have to accept and move on with my life.

Anyway hopefully this time I really have said everything necessary and can leave you all alone.

@Meg
Because VK lied so that she could avoid the previous dynamic with Apostate, and the dynamic with Corban & his friends, who she had the NCO against in the first place, and who approached her first. I’m not excusing her behavior, just pointing back to the reason why, which again is far more weighty to me.

@hellfrog
… ? You upvoted the comment implying I was a rapist, didn’t you? Now you’re worried about “false accusations”? Amidst all the righteous hubbub over the person who lied about who she was on the internet there have been plenty among you who have side-wise corroborated this particular accusation.

Anyway I’m not going to make a thread. If I can manage it, I’m not going to come back here and post on this topic again either. Believe it or not, it makes me feel sick to talk about and I’m not interested in maligning Apostate. Despite everything I still have a lot of admiration for him, which is perfectly possible to coexist with these claims, in a toxic homebrew that reminds me of my relationship with my father … anyway, bye. It’s yours to deal with however you will. (Probably continued ignoring of game runner abuse and commenting about how terrible VK is and how you get rapist vibes from me.)

@Jumpscare

???

To me, a game runner exploiting a player for TS is pretty much always going to be worse than someone lying about who they are on the interwebs.

But that judgment seems like it’s about convenience and friendship to you, somehow?

@RightMeow

Okay, fair enough.

@GF said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:

Dude seems to think there is a polite way to demand that people relive their trauma for him so he can litigate whether or not it’s valid, and that refusing to grant him that authority over their lives victimizes him. That makes him a danger, because he can’t see other people as existing outside of what he wants from them.

Give him a second chance in a week if you want to, but I’m getting major “ladies, don’t take a drink from him” vibes.

Look, the ban was fair, but implying that I’m a rapist is not fair. I wrote this huge angry post about my entire life story but thankfully I was temp banned and couldn’t post it. In short, I’m not a rapist, and you all acting like I am one and talking about the ‘trauma responses’ of my ‘victims’ … makes me doubt that every actual predator that you all have dogpiled in this hobby is even a predator at all. Considering some of the predatory behavior I’ve seen and heard of from some of you, and from those you protect by completely ignoring their abuses, it obviously has less to do with behavior and more to do with where friendship/convenience falls. If you want people to listen to you, you’re going to have to be more fair and less biased.

This morning I tried to send people a few messages to see if I was blocked, because I genuinely did not know. I got a message like this last night when I tried to send a message over discord, and that’s why I used DMs here…

I guess this means I am blocked. I thought it only meant what it said. If it means that I am blocked then… a lot of people have blocked me now. I guess that makes things more clear.

To everyone who blocked me, I’m sorry I caused you enough pain to do that. I no longer think that anyone is going to forgive me, or resolve differences and be friends. If it ever happens I will be happy but I’m not holding out for it anymore. Anyway, just saying sorry.

This is your circle, and I’m outside of it. Stepping out now…

Wow. I was really shaken by that reaction. After a little thought I decided to come back and say one last thing…

I was not threatening you, Sunny. I was explaining why I didn’t just ask you in front of everybody in this thread. Everyone keeps saying VK is lying to me, and you yourself said you were dismayed by how many people believed untruths about you, so I was giving the courtesy of a chance to tell your side of the story. I didn’t want to say what I’d heard up front because yes the thought crossed my mind that you might find it traumatizing, which I even mentioned as a reason you might not want to reply? There was a time I really respected, admired, and appreciated you. I’m sorry you felt threatened. That is all.

Had no idea you were so upset, or that you had blocked me elsewhere, and I have no intention of continuing this further.

@IoleRae Okay, sorry. I was trying to be nice. I’ll just go away now.

@BloodAngel: Hah. Can’t be mad at you for that.

@Selira: Yes, nobody has to accept an apology. But forgiveness is still more freeing than holding ten-year-old grudges in a small community. And the main argument being made was that she never even apologized – but yes, she did.

Anyway this is going too fast for me to stay in. I wish you all the best, and hope old wounds can be healed without scars. Our hobby’s very small. It’d be nice to be able to be friends and forgive each other and direct our empathy to each other.

@BloodAngel It was this person. I recognize that icon!

Anyway, reiterating, VulgarKitten said she was sorry in a very large post that was followed by five pages of people attacking her. Is it any wonder she didn’t want to go back to MSB, and actually swore off it in her post? Yeah, she felt safe enough to go back once some people were banned. But that doesn’t mean there is nobody left who doesn’t remember what she did. I guess the people left are just more understanding about it, mostly. Or maybe the new forum rules are just stopping people from being needlessly cruel.