Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Bannings
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Is @Faraday here? The little @ thing says you are.
You are a good person.
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The ‘both sides’ that goes on that totally ignores power dynamics and actions is utterly bizzare and infuriating.
The idea that both sides don’t recognise the split is harmful? Of /course it is/. Only one side sought to exclude the other (and did so) from a position of power. It isn’t like BMD was set up by people on a jolly jape, it was made because people otherwise couldn’t engage with most of the active people in the discussion board part of the hobby.
When someone shows you who they are, over and over again? Believe them.
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I love my new pony emoji.
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The idea that both sides don’t recognise the split is harmful? Of /course it is/.
See, I’m not sure it is ultimately.
The reasons behind the split, and the metaphorical violence behind the split? Absolutely harmful and I’m not going to deny it.
The split itself? We don’t know the full outcome of that, yet, but we’ve had exactly one problem poster here and plenty decent of discussion happening. I’d honestly call that a win.
We’re free of the parts of MSB with which we refused to put up, and they’re free of people they clearly didn’t appreciate having in their community. We both win out of this.
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
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@Pavel Agreed. While the circumstances behind the split were harmful to some people, the actual split or two boards existing is entirely neutral. It could become harmful, and just as a person, I’d really love for us to…move on from obsessing about What They’re Saying Over There because I think it does perpetuate some bad blood and keep things emotional.
But deciding that a friend, or a group, is no longer for you and moving to make another friend or group isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it’s just a matter of recognizing when your needs have diverged from someone else’s and all of you will be happier in separate circles.
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The split itself? We don’t know the full outcome of that, yet, but we’ve had exactly one problem poster here and plenty decent of discussion happening. I’d honestly call that a win.
On the whole I think I agree, mostly in the arc of history I think these WORA successor boards have had pretty different tones and (over the long) that’s been more toward the good than the bad. A new house provides something of a shake-up to entrenched ideas and social dynamics that usually feels like it creates at least different perspectives, though I’m always sad to see old posters drop off (which I think is mostly just due to us being Olds now rather than being DRIVEN AWAY). I think losing the archive of posts is always a blow to the community but (for now) that’s still around, so ain’t all bad.
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I’d really love for us to…move on from obsessing about What They’re Saying Over There
I agree. Though I don’t care about the idea of bad blood or emotionality, I just don’t think they’re really relevant. I suppose this is very “be the bigger person”-minded but I’m quite content to let them do their own thing while we do ours.
They’re going to continue to do whatever it is we’re accusing them of, constantly talking about it isn’t going to change that. So I’d prefer that we just plod along doing our own thing, and ignore them. They’re unimportant.
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Some of us are still being actively maligned; it’s a lot easier to say ‘don’t feed it’ when your name isn’t in their mouths.
eta: Which is learned from experience! I know I have repeatedly tried to deescalate things too and have advocated stop engaging, but man, it is hard to feel that with this prolonged bullshit being drawn out.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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The idea that both sides don’t recognise the split is harmful? Of /course it is/.
See, I’m not sure it is ultimately.
The reasons behind the split, and the metaphorical violence behind the split? Absolutely harmful and I’m not going to deny it.
For me, the inciting incident was me making a post saying, “This piece of news hurt me very much.”
Derp replied with, “I refuse to engage you on that level, because it is more important to me to show that I am detached and intelligent and saw it coming than it is to acknowledge that this hurts you or affects anyone’s live.”
I replied, "You’ll never stop this, will you?
He replied, “No, and you’re wrong to ask me to.”
That is the violence I personally suffered in this split, the hurt I’ve tried to veil behind my online persona of detached irony.
So, as you say, I do not consider the split itself harmful. Even though I don’t think I’ve played on a MU* in at least eighteen months, what I feel most about the split is relief and a sense of safety, knowing he and his fanboys are out of my life as far as my forum career goes and maybe for the rest of my life. I am well shed of them. I know it won’t stop them from trying to hurt me (and I look forward to learning that someone has screengrabbed this post to bolster their argument that I am stirring the drama), but they are welcome to do what they want. In this moment, I feel peaceful, and wish them all the joy they can find in trying exact revenge on my ghost.
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@junipersky said in Bannings:
Is Faraday here? The little @ thing says you are.
You are a good person.
Lol oh man don’t summon her into this mess, I’m sure she has this section of the board on Ignore or whatnot
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Some of us are still being actively maligned; it’s a lot easier to say ‘don’t feed it’ when your name isn’t in their mouths.
eta: Which is learned from experience! I know I have repeatedly tried to deescalate things too and have advocated stop engaging, but man, it is hard to feel that with this prolonged bullshit being drawn out.
It absolutely is, which is why I’m expressing it simply as a preference rather than an edict or a “god you people should know better” kind of… statement. You’re all adults, you can do what you want I’m not your mother.
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I understand.
But I also think that the guy who just will not or cannot see why his actions were unwelcome and also why their pursuit was not a good idea is not going to see it. And those who are knee jerk determined to “protect” certain people from “mean, bullying” others are going to gloss over what they need to. Or they genuinely don’t see or care about anyone else’s experience or interpretation.
If that’s going to be tolerated on a place for whatever reason there’s just not a lot that can be done.
Its not easy, I’m not sure a peace about it can be or should be made. I am glad that at least now I personally have a place where probably I won’t have to deal with a few folks unless I decide to.
But im never going to convince two in particular that I am even worth half a sack of shit as far as being a real live human being. I did not really realize how much that affected me when participating in the community until now where I’m reasonably certain I will not have to worry about how they treat me here because they are not interested in participating here.
Unfairly or not I expect that certain people feel the same way there. I know there are people who are over the moon i don’t have anything to do with being on the team over there. But I do think its hard to let go, its hard to not want to defend yourself even if intellectually you know that you are never going to convince people who are digging in their heels, its hard to see people siding with someone else instead of you, ect.
It’s hard and it’s going to be hard. But I do think its probably better to not make this a focus of this place or have it become the biggest main thread–eventually.
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Clique allies I am not even friends with on Discord but have at least RPed with: Pavel (I think?), junipersky, Tori, Selira, and Blu
We’re actually friends on Discord!
We’ve just literally never spoken there, you added me specifically to invite me to BMD’s Discord and that was it.
ETA: WAIT YOU REMOVED ME LOL
It’s OK @Selira, Regina George be like that. Notice how meticulously she took pains to distance herself from me and be all ‘I don’t know her.’
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I mean I 100% just find it hilarious, it was a perfect example of how these imagined social groups aren’t really what people think they are.
Dumb question, but knowing what I know about how the internet was in the 2000’s… there’s absolutely no way that MSB was more toxic than WORA, is there? I can’t give even the slightest credence to the idea that the hog pit was more chilling on the hobby than something made in 4chan’s heyday.
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@Selira Considering on WORA there were whole threads dedicated to tearing apart and mocking character descriptions? I can also remember the Firan thread being pretty bad when that game finally imploded.
Literally anything Bane ever said.
The Fallcoast thread.
I could keep giving examples but I’ll stop there.
No, it was worse than MSB ever was.
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@Selira on WORA people openly celebrated doxxing people, posting their RL pictures to the board to mock them, talked about people’s rl kids and family life situations, cheered on as some folks defaced the social media at the time (LiveJournal) of people determined to be harmful or bad with autopsy photos in the comments, ect.
Of course this was the 90/00s when if you got harassed on a game maybe you shouldn’t have been such a TS slut and if you got into offline conversation and all that you deserved what you got.
The community has changed in some ways to be less misogynistic and we understand more about how damaging doxxing is and stuff like that.
But I think humans are mean without making efforts not to be, there’s just as much whisoer campaigns but the content is different, ect. And some of the folks that did all the shit mentioned above, some are still present and active in the community, but I hope/expect their maturity at being in their 30s is different than when it was when they were teens/college age.
Editing to add: not EVERYONE celebrated that shit and people expressed disgust too. But it was tolerated and no one got banned for it. But thankfully the culture widely changed in general.
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Yeah, if people thought MSB was nasty, WORA would cause them to go all Indiana Jones melty face.
Though I am proud that in that rather horrid Firan thread, the worst said about me was that I was ‘lovely, but a bit ineffective’.
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And people forget there was always SWOFA before that. Which is an even deeper level of toxicity.
It’s like Dante’s Inferno, only for text nerdery.
