MU Peeves Thread
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The inevitable paranoia I constantly feel when friends talk shit about our other friends, and then I can’t help but wonder what they’re probably also saying about me.
Part RL peeve I suppose, but we are a gossipy hobby.
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Watching your friends depart a game, but not yet wanting to finish your own stories, but also not knowing if you have a game left in you after this so whether you’ll get to RP with them again.
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Hi.
I’ve cried over MU* stuff. I’ve cried because I was OOCly mistreated (see previous threads it can stay there) by people knowing how to hit the trigger. I left the game btw when that happened.
More I’ve cried over the story. I’ve had breakup scenes IC that were heart-wretching. Not because I felt OOCly like I was breaking up but because we were both writing so beautifully in the scene that it hurt. Just like watching a movie or reading a good book.
I’m not sure I ever told the other person I cried though - in either of those moments.
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@RightMeow Nothing wrong with that. I think the issue is when people are using it as a way to make a person feel guilty for whatever ‘sad’ scene that is happening. I’m a firm-believer in the idea there are ‘good sad cries’ and not so good. From what you’re saying you’re not trying to manipulate the other players or purposefully give them bad feels.
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@RightMeow Yep. I’ve been deeply unhappy over OOC mistreatment. Sometimes calculated to trigger, other times just me hitting the wall of frustration. Also over not-mistreatment of the type where I thought somebody cared about me and my emotional well-being but they wouldn’t stop TSing that night when I asked and said how I was feeling like crap and really really needed some RP to distract me from RL hellishness.
Sad story or beautiful writing cries just don’t count. That’s usually awesome.
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@RightMeow I love a good cry IRL, and am absolutely the sort of person who tears up at Folgers commercials. RP makes me cry in a good way sometimes, where I’m just really invested and something sad is happening. I always come away from those scenes loving it. (And always tell my scene partners, who always laugh at me.)
If something OOC is making me cry though? It’s usually a sign that I need to step away from someone/something, because it’s no longer fun. I don’t do RP that’s not fun, ideally for everyone involved. And I don’t tell people about these times, because what’s the point? Either the person is being shitty anyway, or maybe they’re not being shitty and it’s a me-problem so I don’t want to make them feel guilty for perfectly okay behavior.
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@Kestrel said in MU Peeves Thread:
The inevitable paranoia I constantly feel when friends talk shit about our other friends, and then I can’t help but wonder what they’re probably also saying about me.
Part RL peeve I suppose, but we are a gossipy hobby.
My un-favorite part of this whole thing is the “shark pond” aspect where we’re all swimming together with cases of subtle or blatant avoidance. And hey, sometimes there are good reasons for doing so. I do it too.
In any case yeah, it’s difficult for me to form cohesive playgroups with things being like this so I just pick at the margins and I’m not good at just busting into someone else’s pre-existing friend circles. The whole “I appreciate you but goddamn I can’t stand your buddy” vibe is a real thing for me. But at least if I’m talking to you in the first place, I’m almost certainly not going to be shit-talking you elsewhere.
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K KarmaBum referenced this topic on 18 Mar 2023, 14:53
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If a handful of people are RPing in public and the scene comes to a natural close it happens just when somebody new walks in. Disproportionately frequently.
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Some days I’m having an antisocial mood, where I’d like a magic button to become instantly anonymous in communities that know me too well, log on, talk to no one, and just RP as my character for a bit, without having to exist as Kestrel that day.
It is a ridiculous want, especially when other days I’m content to eat the cake I’d otherwise have. But I want it, all the same.
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Not a new peeve, but a classic peeve.
That weird vibe you get when you feel like someone has some kind of OOC problem with you but you have literally no idea why and neither are you wholly sure if that’s what’s even going on if it’s just in your head, and you’re just imagining shit because well, why wouldn’t you.
And the moment you want to reach out and ask, ‘Hey have I done something to tick you off?’ you feel like it’s going to be an issue.
So you just kind of sit there and stew in your thoughts.
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@Testament
So much this. So much.I hope it passes for you though.
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
Not a new peeve, but a classic peeve.
That weird vibe you get when you feel like someone has some kind of OOC problem with you but you have literally no idea why and neither are you wholly sure if that’s what’s even going on if it’s just in your head, and you’re just imagining shit because well, why wouldn’t you.
And the moment you want to reach out and ask, ‘Hey have I done something to tick you off?’ you feel like it’s going to be an issue.
So you just kind of sit there and stew in your thoughts.
I get this periodically. (Periodically, he says, I get it constantly).
I’m just trying to tell myself it’s
- Some sort of post-covid socialization dysfunction that seems to be afflicting me and possibly a lot of people, the reality of it is nothing is actually wrong.
or
- A “them” problem as opposed to a “me” problem and if they can’t be bothered to be open about it, fuck them. I don’t have time to troubleshoot someone else’s coward-brain, I have my own to deal with.
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@SpaceKhomeini said in MU Peeves Thread:
- A “them” problem as opposed to a “me” problem and if they can’t be bothered to be open about it, fuck them. I don’t have time to troubleshoot someone else’s coward-brain, I have my own to deal with.
This reminds me of a conflict I had with a co-worker some years ago. Admittedly, I had screwed up and upset this person who I did consider a friend, but I had no idea it was upsetting, and only heard through another person. I remember it being for something super petty but blew up into a bigger thing. And when I heard I went to talk to them about it, notably to apologize and that I hadn’t known it was upsetting. And they just didn’t want to resolve or talk about it or anything. But still held it against me personally.
Eventually I just decided that, you know what? No, I’m not going to handhold your feelings anymore and trying to placate to your bruised ego. This is a you problem especially after I tried to resolve it in a matter that hopefully, would be good for everyone. So you staying mad is a you issue, because you want to stay mad. So stay salty if it’s that important to you.
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@Testament Nobody’s obligated to forgive the repentant, but nobody’s obligated to think well of people who refuse to forgive, either!
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For fuck’s sake, if you are using a published RPG, don’t make a fucking house rule that directly contradicts the published rules after some poor player made a choice based on the published rules, and then force them to live with their “IC consequences.”
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@Gashlycrumb That is fucked!
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@Gashlycrumb Surely “Heads I Win, Tails You Lose” is clearly listed as a Game Policy in the FAQ.
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@Gashlycrumb said in MU Peeves Thread:
For fuck’s sake, if you are using a published RPG, don’t make a fucking house rule that directly contradicts the published rules after some poor player made a choice based on the published rules, and then force them to live with their “IC consequences.”
gimme deeeeeeets
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@Coin I ought not to, really, as it didn’t happen to me.
Well, it did on another occasion, but like, two years ago now and on a different game. That one had only been open for like six weeks at the time, so it wasn’t so shitty. Except for the bit where the ruling wasn’t actually in direct contradiction to the rules, just eyeball-searingly stupid and accompanied by a lie that it was common to MUs and I a bad player for not knowing to ask if it was in place.
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@Gashlycrumb That’s literally the opposite of details, man. Spill!