Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Real life happy
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After going to various therapists over my life, I eventually stopped a couple years ago because I was tired of talking to someone when it felt like anything I talked about they didn’t hear. Or didn’t care about. So I stopped going. My wife, knowing that my own struggle with depression has been a constant battle in my head, pleaded that I go back. And even suggested a therapist that works for her therapist. Eventually, I agreed, because I know it was the best thing to do, despite my reservation on it.
So the first thing I noted is that my therapist looks exactly like me. It was strange having a doppleganger as your therapist, but oddly fitting in some way. Like a more well-adjusted more successful version of yourself talking to you.
And finally, he gave me a proper diagnosis. Persistent Depressive Disorder. Which I’ve learned used to be called Dysthymia. But my reason for posting this is here, is that it’s good to be told something other than “Well, you’re depressed.” No fucking shit, I know that, but what can I do about it beyond think things that I’m terrible at and how I’ll never actually be better than I am.
Being given this give context to things. It partially answers the ‘Why’ question I ask literally everything in life. Why. I feel like this therapist acatually gives a shit about my emotional health. And I really appreciate that. So. That’s good.
It’s good.
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@Testament said in Real life happy:
After going to various therapists over my life, I eventually stopped a couple years ago because I was tired of talking to someone when it felt like anything I talked about they didn’t hear. Or didn’t care about. So I stopped going. My wife, knowing that my own struggle with depression has been a constant battle in my head, pleaded that I go back. And even suggested a therapist that works for her therapist. Eventually, I agreed, because I know it was the best thing to do, despite my reservation on it.
So the first thing I noted is that my therapist looks exactly like me. It was strange having a doppleganger as your therapist, but oddly fitting in some way. Like a more well-adjusted more successful version of yourself talking to you.
And finally, he gave me a proper diagnosis. Persistent Depressive Disorder. Which I’ve learned used to be called Dysthymia. But my reason for posting this is here, is that it’s good to be told something other than “Well, you’re depressed.” No fucking shit, I know that, but what can I do about it beyond think things that I’m terrible at and how I’ll never actually be better than I am.
Being given this give context to things. It partially answers the ‘Why’ question I ask literally everything in life. Why. I feel like this therapist acatually gives a shit about my emotional health. And I really appreciate that. So. That’s good.
It’s good.
I have dysthymia. It’s good to get help. When I was ready my therapist referred me to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed my dysthymia as probably stemming from an anxiety disorder, and prescribed me meds which have, over the course of the past 6-8 months, slowly helped me gain some control over my brain.
My room is still a fucking mess.
But my brain is better, which means I can tackle the rest.
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@Coin said in Real life happy:
My room is still a fucking mess.
We don’t talk about the state of our rooms.
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@Testament I have this too, and I’m so glad you got a diagnoses from a good therapist. YMMV of course but mine has responded very well to medication.
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@Snackness said in Real life happy:
@Testament I have this too, and I’m so glad you got a diagnoses from a good therapist. YMMV of course but mine has responded very well to medication.
Dysthymia Club. We don’t get together but we wave, kinda, when we feel like it.
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@Coin said in Real life happy:
@Snackness said in Real life happy:
@Testament I have this too, and I’m so glad you got a diagnoses from a good therapist. YMMV of course but mine has responded very well to medication.
Dysthymia Club. We don’t get together but we wave, kinda, when we feel like it.
“Are you down with DDP?”
“Yeah, you know me.”
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@Coin said in Real life happy:
@Snackness said in Real life happy:
@Testament I have this too, and I’m so glad you got a diagnoses from a good therapist. YMMV of course but mine has responded very well to medication.
Dysthymia Club. We don’t get together but we wave, kinda, when we feel like it.
You’re all welcome at Bipolar Club meetings, but only every second one.
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That was good.
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After one of my colleagues departed and I got saddled with a lot of extra work, I sat my supervisor down and basically told him that I knew I was being undercompensated. He said he’d do his best, because he wanted to keep the team together, and because we kick ass together (True.)
Four months went by. I started browsing Indeed and such on the regular. Pretty much resigned myself to a 5%ish increase, and it wasn’t going to cut it to stay. Last week, I finally got news from him.
Promoted. New Title - better title than I suggested. 30% raise. 30. Percent.
Remember how I said I wasn’t having panic attacks? This is the closest I’ve come to one, sitting through that meeting, because apparently my body has forgotten how to process extreme amounts of joy. Teared up in the meeting. I had to scamper away directly after the meeting and run into the bathroom and squeal into my hands.
My life feels like it’s starting to come together, all of the sudden.
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@Solstice That is amazing! I’m so happy for you!
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It’s so weird, but I live in The City half time, now. I look out the window and there’s lights and people no matter the hour. My new schedule is solid, it’s every other week; I get my people time in at the office (in person, and omg I love these people SO much), and those other weeks…I never expected to live here, and I basically do. Looking out the window here is amazing. I can get off on my exit on the freeway and get right to my parking space without any trouble, and I don’t even feel any anxiety about it any more.
Having stability is helpful; NewJob has me into a stricter rhythm than we had before. It’s nice. I get to see his kids, but they’re not here every time I am. My therapist has taken her week off between working for somebody else and opening her own practice, and she just emailed me saying she’s ready whenever I am. Things are…good.
I gotta say, folks – if things get bad, just…hang in there. The only way out is through. I’ve had one hell of a fucking year, things could not have been worse – and things could also not have been better. It’s…been a year, lol. My partner passed away, my boss (The Dream Boss, folks) got fired, as did one part of my team; the rest of my team quit, except for me and one other person (plus a couple of new hires)…I got kicked out of the place I’d been staying pretty abruptly (family, sigh), ended up having to cut off some family (sigh)…
…reunited with The One, the guy I’ve been in love with since I was an actual child (it’s okay, he’s the same age as me)…quit the job that turned terrible to go work for The Best Boss again doing the most INCREDIBLE work (shit we’d always talked about getting to do if we had the opportunity at our old place of work)…stuff that matters in the day to day lives of people who it makes a super huge difference for. It’s doing good on a daily, tangible level. Every day. I have stable housing, my kid is doing SO well, and we’re in a situation now that if something happens to me, he’s ultimately going to be okay. We have people.
The feral kitten, the little bebe, the boyfriend agreed to take her, and she is the sweetest little housecat guys. She is forever inside now and she is so happy, she bonded with him, she was guarding his back tonight and everything. He loves her. WHEW. Vet appointments are a million years out, but they are had.
Y’all who helped me get through this, @mietze and @Testament and @Pavel and @GF and @Selira and and everybody else…(I’m not sure of everyone’s BMD names, and y’all know I have holes in my brain, I’m sorry!! I love you, person I did not list here!), thank you.
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@IoleRae said in Real life happy:
Y’all who helped me get through this, @mietze and @Testament and @Pavel and @GF and @Selira and and everybody else…
Don’t blame me, I had nothing to do with this.
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I’m so relieved to have the financial stability to be able to have a dental emergency and it ISN’T a huge stressor. Of course, I’m not happy about the unexpected cost, but I have a comfortable emergency fund that will easily cover it.
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New job starts on Monday. It is a huge step up for me but I think I’m excited for it.
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One of my college kids texted me this morning saying he was going to try to finish a paper that’s due on monday today and if i was available he’d like to come home tomorrow afternoon so that he can surprise his littlest bro for for his birthday. He finished the paper, we worked out when I can go get him, and he’s already planning stuff to do with just him and little bro. I have one that works on the weekends so can’t (but texted me excited about a package he’d just sent off for little bro) and the last big bro is coming home as a surprise next weekend. And I didn’t text or remind them of youngest’s birthday coming up either.
Honestly I think my youngest is the luckiest kid in the world when it comes to his sibs. I worried about the spacing a bit, since they’re so significantly older. But it’s amazing to me how they each individually cultivate a close bond/relationship with him even though they’re launching into their adult lives now. And I’m thrilled at the timing too because youngest has been having some really tough weeks at school and I think this will be a really nice boost.
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@mietze You should be congratulated for raising proper adults, and this is the proof right here.
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This is super mixed. I for sure have a job next year!!
But it isn’t either of the jobs I expected. The ones I thought:
Job a) Same I have now, K-8 intervention. Work with small groups to fill gaps.
Job b) Classroom teacher, likely 2-4 grade, probably mixed level.
What was just offered:
JOB c) K-5 intervention .75, and k-1 technology. .25
I told my boss sure, whatever, but TBH I hadn’t considered job c. I wouldn’t call myself a technology expert, though k-1 tech is mostly problem solving, engineering, and basics of computer use.
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The lady who we bought our new home from is amazing. She’s still moving out while we are moving in and she is the nicest person. She’s an empty nester who is downsizing and she’s leaving us:
Coffee bar and shelf
Giant kitchen hutch
Bakers rack
Bar stools
Like four couches, including an awesome high back one in my room
At least three tables
Some shoe racks
And idk what else.Here’s our boxes in our new basement, and we’re not done for today
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@Cobalt Mr Rogers always said to look for the helpers. That lady’s a helper.
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@Gasboy she’s amazing!!!