I am going to throw in my unwarranted two cents into this just to get the bare minimum of my thoughts and feelings on this situation off my chest. I have myriad things I can say, none of which I know will translate properly via text on an online forum, so I have refrained from getting into the nitty gritty of it all.

Many of the people who were victims of VK/Monique’s last stint on Arx are people that I have known for many years whether we are good friends, known acquaintances, or familiar with one another in the sense that we also played on Firan. I witnessed from their perspectives how hurt, devastated, and duped they felt. In addition to that, many of these players have also been badly burned by someone who duped them in the past and so they were already somewhat on high alert. Her actions messed with them mentally and emotionally and it made some of them feel unsafe.

She willingly and knowingly pursued and allowed relationships to be built under false pretenses. That is predatory behavior. It is narcissistic behavior. It is toxic.

In this situation, actions speak louder than words. She chose those actions of her own will, to benefit herself and did not for a moment give a damn about who she had to hurt so long as she got what she wanted. And I do not mean this in an IC sense. She went after players.

I have seen and felt the fallout of this situation and I feel true empathy for my game friends who did not deserve to be treated this way. I also have empathy for you @hobos - I do not know you. I do not believe we have ever played together. I am only going by what I’ve read and how you’ve staunchly defended someone who does not need defending but rather needs to own up to their own mistakes (but they never will, because narcissists are never wrong. They will go to great lengths to paint themselves the victim even if that means betraying someone close to them).

I have no ill will towards VK, or towards you. We are after all real people on the other side of this screen. But I will certainly be keeping tabs and where they will be playing in order to avoid it like the plague.

@Dreampipe said in A Constructive Arx Thread:

I feel like this has been Victus for the last decade.

A most recent collection of multiple personalities:

Arx: Calista, Desiree

Past incarnations (too many to name, here are some favorites)

Firan: Cataryna, Dalasi, the very last Tia
Marsilikos: Evangeline
Fifth World: Eirene
Liberation: Isla

My RP relationship peeve stems off this topic. While I surely cannot devote all my time to an IC relationship (definitely not 70%), I’ve recently been triggered by my need for monogamy and my settling for don’t ask don’t tell. My character mentioned this was such a great aspect of their relationship because she didn’t want to know of the other people, if there were other people, and the person my character was with literally replied with something like “you should meet them…” Only to then find out someone who triggered me on game earlier was still in the partner’s rotation of lovers.

I basically told the player I couldn’t do this even if I enjoyed the story, even if I still thought they were very nice and had fun while it lasted. I was just so triggered. Now I’m hesitant to involve any character that deeply because I will feel guilty for not being on enough to satisfy the IC relationship needs of the other player. I know this sounds super messed up and it’s a very low self-esteem thing. It’s just a bad trigger. I want to be ‘cool’ and all monogamy is for the birds, but I would be lying to myself and the other person.

Current Peeve: Springtime allergies.

@Jennkryst said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

@Rucket said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

… Knacks

… holy fuck, another command I am just now finding out about, send halp.

Funny story. I was actually chatting with @Rucket last night about this. It was way too late. I couldn’t remember what they were called. I said “I want to call them +kinks, but I know that’s not right.”

That’s a whole 'nother game

Funny enough, I will generally get too wrapped up into the scene and the story and forget about FI’s. I’m pretty sure this is what makes me bad at xp harvesting.

@sao said in A Constructive Arx Thread:

@Mourne In my experience as a writer of characters, marriage means the character will never come off the roster again.

I’m going to second this. However, if you do choose a character who is married and the player who plays the spouse makes you feel uncomfortable for any number of reasons, I’d suggest speaking with staff before just tossing the character to roster. I would suggest that for any new player who logs in and is made to feel uncomfortable based on a previous relationship. I’ve noticed patterns of certain characters that always go back to roster. Some have been played by friends of mine and they have confided in me they were made uncomfortable by the spouse/lover but did not bring it to staff attention because they did not want to bother staff nor get someone in trouble. Chances are the person who is making the new player feel uncomfortable is making everyone who takes that character feel uncomfortable.

Peeve: When I have brain cells and energy during the week, plan to do investigations or help with investigations then completely forget about it until Sunday afternoon only to remember it is now too late to help or start an investigation.

Peeve addendum: When this also happens during a holiday weekend and I am under the assumption that Sunday is ‘second Saturday’ and forget to do work rolls and all that jazz.

I think context here is the indicator on how to use “I’m sorry you feel that way.” I actually use this ALL the time with my kids because it allows me to let them know that I empathize with their feelings, I validate that they feel a certain way, and then I follow this up with fulfilling a need or redirecting them to a more positive solution. But when I use “I am sorry you feel this way.” it is always followed up with something along the lines of “How can we make you feel better? What can I do to help you?”

If the person is just coming back at you and saying “I’m sorry you feel that way.” then is like peace out, or that’s your problem, etc., yeah, it’s a shitty use of something that could potentially be used to mend and not further cause divide or strife.

In the MU world, I would see this as a red flag and then stay very far away from anyone like this.

@Roz said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

@Roz said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

@Birdie said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

@Aria This was me today; Scanning through old clues, recalling scenes that happened 8 RL years ago and wondering “Is this even still in play?”

does anyone know if alaric ever woke up???

also this tolamar brand guy sounds like real trouble

Literally talked about Alaric’s coma and Tolamar Brand and Everard Telmar. Were you in my scene?

@Aria This was me today; Scanning through old clues, recalling scenes that happened 8 RL years ago and wondering “Is this even still in play?”

@Duke-Whisky I also hope you don’t close. I’m just getting back to finding a smidge of time in my hectic RL. I truly think there’s a lot of potential even if I’ve had trouble with Ares games in the past.

Also I totally understand how becoming a game running and getting a glimpse behind the veil can make you feel jaded about how folks treat one another. There are more folks who aren’t creeps than there are creeps.

@junipersky said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

The absolute assholes running for the school board just posted a picture from a family member who’s child doesn’t even GO to our high school shit talking specific admin and coaches by name.

And if I comment I become a target again AND amplify their message.

I’m so frustrated.

How is that professional? I can’t with school boards. I’m on the PTO board and we have this unspoken but common sense rule about how to conduct yourself/behave on social media. I’m always shocked when I see what other parents have to go through when dealing with school administrators and school boards.

@Lyanna hey there! I was Evangeline (Mandrake) on Marsilikos. I had some of my favorite scenes there. Good to see you around.

This is for all the folks who were writing about ADHD and depression (and I fully admit to skimming because, you know ).

This is something I have been working on in therapy (I fully support talk therapy + medicine, if needed). Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. If all the things didn’t get done, that’s ok. There’s always tomorrow or you know what, maybe it never gets finished. That’s ok, too. I have to often stop myself when I begin berating myself for not doing enough, being enough, having enough, not following through, not finishing what I started, etc., and take a breath and say either out loud or in my head “be kind to yourself.”

Just food for thought. It has helped me get through some tough moments. Doesn’t take the place of therapy but it’s a tool I use for myself and my kiddo who has been showing a lot of ADHD. Be kind to yourself. You are deserving of kindness.

@Pavel said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

@helvetica said in An Arx Peeve Thread:

@Pavel sorry if this PB is immersion-breaking for you

Please, I’m used to WoD PBs where every sixth one is a porn star I’ve seen doing things to vegetables. This is nothing.

Just needed to comment to say I legit spit my water out reading this. Excellent. I needed the laugh.

@farfalla said in MU Peeves Thread:

Actually new peeve:
Please let me mute/hide private Ares scenes.

This turned me off to Ares in general and triggered a response that was not always necessary. You should only be able to see your own private scenes when you look at the active scene list.

Funny enough, I will generally get too wrapped up into the scene and the story and forget about FI’s. I’m pretty sure this is what makes me bad at xp harvesting.

Mostly I do an initial greet on channel this way others can welcome new person too. If anyone has been feeling neglected by me recently, I apologize as I have a lot of RL right now that needs my attention.

I will always check in with folks to make sure they have what they need to get started, answer any questions they might have, etc. What I cannot do anymore is hand hold a player through every nitty gritty moment. I’m burned out in that arena, too. While I’ve enjoyed joining orgs that are full, I’ve always chosen a character I thought I would like to play regardless of whether or not their house/org was active. Until very recently my alt’s HoH was mega idle for almost a year, logging in then out every few weeks to avoid idle roster. It was quiet in the org but didn’t make playing my character any less fun. That is always my advice to new players to a roster character; make sure you have fun with your character.