Eddie is certainly doing a good job of making the original accusations seem very likely to be spot on.

@Coin 500 words a day. Every day. It worked for Terry Pratchett.

Moreover, it worked for me. I finally published my first this spring.

@kalakh I had somebody pull the ‘some people expressed concern to me’ line on me as late as last week.

There is only one appropriate answer. If these people will not stand up themselves and voice their concerns, or at the very least allow their names to be used, then their complaint is invalid.

People with concerns should go to staff and make themselves known. At the very least they should allow the person they pick to talk to staff to identify them. Because it’s bloody easy to pull ‘some people agree with me, actually everyone does’ out of your arse, and there is no way to verify that these people even exist.

Being a disabled person who can only leave the house with a helper and isn’t even able to drive a car themselves – and still being able to be part of a community of people and have a social life.

That’s what Mushing is for me.

Agreed. Tone policing is essentially a tool to silence those whose polite protests got them nothing, in order to maintain the status quo.

I had one of those sleepless nights where old stuff finishes ruminating in your mind and finally bubbles to the surface. Now to unload it so I can go on to other ruminations.

Red flags. I’ve had a few experiences in this hobby with people who I would, without being a medical professional, definitely armchair diagnose as malignant narcissists at worst – and players who use and discard other players like NPCs at best.

If somebody says this to you in a private conversation, run.

“I have a black belt in charm.”
“I am/we are the darlings/power couple of the game.”
“I can win anyone over.”
“Many players are jealous of my success but I know you’re different.”
“I play for me, others will have to find their own fun.”

And other things like them, I’m sure.

These statements aren’t all one hundred per cent wrong: We are all responsible for finding our own fun instead of having it served up on a plate, for example.

But they’re also all direct quotes from people who – well, let’s just say that I don’t need to talk to any of those people again.

Personally, my experience is that people are willing to accept amazing and terrifying amounts of consequences, even very negative such, as long as they feel that it matters.

No one wants their character to lose a leg and no one cares. But if losing a leg means the villain gets outed and everyone goes around all ‘thank you for your sacrifice’, then it’s juuuuuust fine.

People want to matter.

On popular request: The story of the girl who thought she was marrying my partner.

So, this was back in the 1990s – 'round 96 if I remember correctly. The date matters because cybersecurity and whatnot really wasn’t a big thing yet. Partner and I both played on LegendMUD.

Partner hung out a lot with a chick from Detroit and her friends. I had my crowd I went stabbing things with so nothing unusual there.

One day, a large care package arrived. Chocolate, a vinyl with ‘our song’, Red Sox kit (partner has no interest in hockey), scented candles.

In retrospect, this is where we should have started to question but, we weren’t really sure what to think.

Then she announced to partner that she’d bought the plane tickets and was arriving in a couple of weeks. Couldn’t wait to get married!

That, of course, rang all the alarm bells and set off an investigation on the game – where I was a builder at the time so I had a pretty decent rapport with the admins.

Partner had complained a few times that they lost gear or logged into the game somewhere else than expected. They’re a forgetful type though, so…

So the admins looked through paging history and private correspondence. And it turned out that some other guy from Denmark had been logging the character in and, to be blunt, convinced this American girl to come to Denmark to marry him.

This is where the obvious question is, how the hell can I trust partner to not be the culprit? Well. To be just as blunt again – partner’s English levels aren’t up to what those pages and letters contained.

Needless to say there was quite an uproar. Girl accused partner of abuse and gaslighting – other guy denied everything – and obviously, the trip to Europe was cancelled, more so when girl found out that partner and I were in fact already married.

https://twitter.com/lbheuschkel/status/1536026867471466496

Have to link the video rather than a picture. Those are my girls, running around for the joy of life.

Yes, because we made the game we wanted to play. If it had already existed, we’d be playing over there. But it didn’t, and now it does, so why should we be punished for making it happen?

Also Kestrel’s reasons above.

Not just youth. Also standards.

When I was 25 and had all night and nothing to compare with, I would jump into anything. Even the most atrocious, brain-numbing roleplay was good roleplay.

Now I’m 51 and I don’t have all night and I’m not going to waste time and energy on stuff that’s boring the hell out of me while hoping that a miracle happens.

I’m still waiting to wake up and realise that this was a nightmare.

I don’t know most of you but I’ll join the celebration of @Faraday and @Tat for being very helpful around coding and developing code – and to @Ren for saving me every time I try.

@bear_necessities said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:

That dude gives me major Ruiz from GH vibes and my gut is very rarely ever wrong.

Freaking out about private logs getting shared is definitely Ruiz’ MO. It lets others see how much he lies.

I’m going to just quickly point a spotlight at another variant that hasn’t been mentioned so far (from what I saw): The player who wants to RP with everyone but can’t.

Whether it’s social anxiety, bad health, busy life – at least on Keys, we have a couple of folks who never or almost never actually RP. When they do, it’s one on one, with only a few chosen folks.

They’re not harming anyone, though. They just want to be part of the OOC community even if for whatever reasons they don’t have spoons to actively play. They hang around and chat, and in that, contribute to a friendly, welcoming atmosphere.

I think Roadspike put it well above; if the player isn’t hoarding plot or otherwise obstructing things for others, they’re still a gain for the game.

Only banned once or twice. That said, always had a very clear policy following Wheaton’s Law (“Don’t be a dick”). People know when they’re being assholes. If they’re being assholes, they need to be somewhere else. This is a private party and if you piss on the carpet, you will be escorted off the premises. The clearer that is, the fewer people seem to feel a need to test limits.

There are a few people whom I’d ban on sight. Those are the known predators who have a history of causing game meltdowns or driving away vulnerable players. I wouldn’t invite a known predator into my house in real life, either.

On the other hand, a few people who have been problematic elsewhere, have turned new leaves on Keys and never caused trouble. Sometimes, people do learn from their mistakes and just need a fresh start.

The most arguments I’ve watched around banning and behaviour were on games where game policy was three pages long and waffling. The shorter and more concise it is, the less attempts to rules lawyer out of trouble. Because people do indeed know when they’re being assholes.

My GP agreed that I likely have ADHD. I’m now on a wait list for psychiatric evaluation, most likely sometime in early 2023. Unfortunately, Denmark has a long wait time for conditions that aren’t considered critical – and well, I’ve lived with it for 51 years so I can pull through another, I guess.

Thanks to people in here who helped me come to the realisation!

@GF said in Bannings:

You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are. Got it? You better, because if I catch you saying otherwise, you will be in trouble.

I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

Why not? I’ve met people a few times and gone what the hell, didn’t I know you back in whenever…

Past games:
LegendMUD: Kae, Tancred, Marcel, a couple of others I forget (it’s been decades)
DiscworldMUD: Andrew, Danilo.
WoW (Argent Dawn, EU): Koriandr.
DiscworldMUSH: Andrew, Danilo.
Marsilikos: Andrei.
The Network: Esteban.
Trelawney Cove: Domingo, Mustelidae
Gray Harbor: Ravn

Present:
Keys (keys.aresmush.com) . Mustelidae, Nicolas, Ravn.

@Aria said in Bannings:

As someone who is super into history, Norse mythology, Crusader Kings, punk rock, and RPGs, the amount of time I have to spend squinting at people with common interests and going “Okay, but are you a fucking Nazi?” is both alarming and exhausting.

This, but in Danish folklore and history nerd.