@Pavel Agreed. Self care and boundaries are important for game runners and staff too. In my experience this doesn’t get supported enough.

@InkGolem This was the Forum post made back in September explaining things:

@tsar This whole entire development has just been encouraging. I think it says a lot that you were willing to acknowledge Pacha’s emotions and experience even though you were unaware of it happening and also that it wasn’t the motivation of your actions.

It also says a lot about @Pacha for being able to acknowledge your position in the situation. While also not allowing these interactions to create a negative viewpoint.

So kudos to both of you!

At the end of the day we’re all human with our own lives and struggles. We don’t know how our actions (or the actions of those associated with us too) can be interpreted by others. We also can’t know the motive of others actions who we interact with. MUSH is behind a screen and most times we don’t know the person on the other side.

We may become friends over time and we may meet some of these people, but for the most part we remain strangers who share a love of escaping our reality through adventure. Yet, somehow our interactions with these people can still impact us and others in ways we can’t anticipate.

I’ve viewed others as being part of a ‘clique’ before. Either shutting out people or monopolizing rp and I admit I’ve let myself either be offended or get self conscious about it. Likewise, I’ve found out down the road that I have been viewed as part of a clique, monopolizing rp, or having some sort of fan following.

I know on my end none of that was my intention. Which made me realize. If I know it wasn’t my intention isn’t it possible that I’m misreading others actions the same mine were misread? I’ve given a lot more grace to myself and others as a result and overall it’s made rp a lot more fun. It’s also ironically helped me create healthier boundaries as well.

Sorry for the long ramble, but this took me down an encouraging thought trail and yeah tl;dr basically:

@dvoraen

ETA - I just had a cursed thought occur to me. Does that count as RP voyeurism, where you just watch other people do a thing IC that you don’t (intentionally) interact with, not because of your character intentionally being a wallflower or the like, but you as the player just “pretend” to be there engaging?

Me watching reality tv for the same reason:

@MisterBoring True! Granted, I’m a hobbit and keep to myself so it’s less literal for me too. It still helped put things into perspective as far as why I’d bend over backwards to accommodate someone online when I wouldn’t do that irl.

@Roz

@Roz Yet no matter how many warnings or strikes you give the banhammer always comes “out of nowhere” -_-

@Juniper I had someone once explain it to me as “If you wouldn’t invite them into your living room why would you invite them into your game?” Whether it’s a game, a scene, or whatever. The same concept remains.

My in person friendships get a lot more grace and chances. I’ve also had online friendships get to the point of earning those chances because of my history with the person.

Boundaries aren’t bad (whether as staff or player) though especially for people you don’t know outside of a game and who haven’t put in the effort to receive additional chances.

Giving someone you hardly know, who has shown a negative behavior, the continued chance to add to your stress and the stress of those around you?

I’m a hypocrite sometimes though and still have trouble having a spine. The older I get though? The less fucks I give.

@Yam I think the difference there is Staff have an expectation on them because they chose to either make a game or take a title of responsibility on said game. Setting expectations of players past the ‘follow game rules’ could make it seem like people have to earn the privilege to be on a game.

People don’t have to run or staff games. Players don’t have to play them. One choice gives you more control and influence in the overall dynamic though.

That being said, there’s some aspect of common sense. No you don’t have to play in scenes or participate or attend events. However, also don’t be the player that doesn’t do those things and then complains when your char doesn’t get certain plot/results/interaction.

@junipersky You and other foster mom are fantastic and that is awesome!

@Jenn What I saw/heard in my head:

@Pavel That 30 year body warranty is serious business. Also your post made me absolutely cackle so thank you for that.

@Perfect-Paz Imagine being so insecure in your own life and so miserable that you have to bully (as a grown adult no less) a group of people for simply existing.

But go ahead. Your salty tears are seasoning my popcorn.

@KarmaBum Happy Pride Month! ️🧡

@Ashkuri IKUA! Liam/Jaxen here. RL grabbed me so I had to cut down on my game availability, but I am glad to see you and hope you’re doing well!

@Meg Am I the only one who doesn’t watch something because an actor or actress is known to be terrible enough either talent wise or as an overall person? >.>

@Aria As someone with a long history of admin/executive assistant roles, I share your rage. People hear admin or executive assistant and look down on the person when in reality there are so many hats you wear to successfully achieve such a role. It requires such a vast skill set and involves adapting to so many different approaches.

In order to assist all these different people you have to understand the jobs you’re assisting them with. Which is something people don’t understand themselves. Also “taking a chance” must have been such a discouraging way to be viewed when you were earned that opportunity ten times over so I’m sorry for that.

All that to say -I- think you’re brilliant and am proud of you! Treat yourself!

@catzilla It’s definitely giving Britta Perry vibes.

@Mushling-0 Officially mentally adding the narrator voice of "Last time on ‘As the MUSH Turns’ " to the start of your post because dayum.