@Buttercup Checking in to say you are both thought of and cared about. Hope your healing is going well. Not sure if you’re in the storm areas, but hope you’re staying safe through those too if yes.
Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
Posts made by SockMonkey
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RE: Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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RE: Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
TW: General reference of current events.
This week has been heavy for obvious reasons. My heart is pained and my emotions have been all sorts of scattered.
As a parent I feel like nothing I say or do is enough to help my kids. There are some questions that don’t have answers. Some explanations just don’t make anything better.
All I can do is sit and cry with them. Or be here as a support when they have nightmares or fears, but it honestly never feels like enough.
Having an emotional day, but thankful for the MUSH community where I can at least distract with plot or find support through friends.
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RE: Real life happy
@Aria That is definitely one of those embarrassing moments your brain holds onto until 10 years later when you’re almost asleep so it can say “Hey remember that time you…”
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RE: Real life happy
@Snackness Yay! Glad you can remember what it’s like to be pain free. That’s super exciting!
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RE: Real life happy
@junipersky I’m proud of her too! I’m also proud of you. It means she’s learning to recognize and communicate her big feelings and you have given her a safe place to figure out the process. It’s hard to feel like you’re making a difference some days, but when you look back and see the difference between day 1 and present behavior it really is an encouraging thing.
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RE: Real life happy
The past few months of my life have felt like years in both the most stressful and wonderful ways possible. I’ve taken on challenges and responsibilities that, even as they were happening, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to face. All I knew is that quitting wasn’t an option.
During these months I’ve had to sacrifice significant time from MUSH and other online and RL interactions and, while it was difficult to start with, my journey helped me find a healthier balance and outlook towards life in general. It’s amazing how the toughest times in our life can also be the best. How what breaks us down also leaves us stronger than we ever thought we could be.
I’m happier now. I realize that self care isn’t selfish. Kindness doesn’t require tolerating mistreatment. Simply put…life is too damn short to spend it making yourself miserable.
I know realistically I will always struggle with my confidence and worry about letting others down. It’s just part of being a recovering people pleaser. It sure does feel nice to finally be in a place where I can look in the mirror and genuinely love the person I’m looking at though.
TL;DR: Life is short. Love yourself. You’re worth it.
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RE: Good things in Mushing
@sao Me reading the one spelling as ‘Air-un’, ‘Aye-ron’ and ‘Uh-run’.
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RE: Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
County offices and everything takes so damn long on their end, but when they need something and you don’t jump through every hoop you are called uncooperative. Even when it’s hoops they have only told you about and not set up yet. Meanwhile watching your child wait on important help they need because of it.
Words. Cannot. Express. My. Rage.
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RE: Real life happy
@junipersky That’s fantastic! You’re doing a great job. Just remember in your moments when you see her disappointment or are overwhelmed, you are human and you are allowed to be learning during this process as well.
What we did that helped is use the word ‘consequence’ instead of ‘punishment’ and then limiting screen time rather than physical discipline obviously or sending them to their rooms.
There will be a lot you realize after the fact that you beat yourself up for not knowing, but again you’re learning too. What matters is you care enough to be there. Every kid is different and every journey is different.
As for the toothbrush/hairbrush thing YES we had that duh moment too. We have realized the more choices they have or can help with the better. They pick what snacks go in their snack drawers each week. Sometimes it’s the same stuff sometimes it’s new food. They pick what scent soap they want for their bathroom. They pick Youtube, Movie or Roblox for family time at night.
Anyways I’m rambling. That affirmation goes a long way for you too so I know that must have felt good to receive. In case you haven’t gotten it in awhile, you are doing AWESOME and keep it up!
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RE: Real life happy
@junipersky Thank you! While it was awesome of them to give me severance and a recommendation letter it was almost worse that it wasn’t because of any mistake on my part?
It’s legitimately the “It’s not you it’s me” of the work world
That being said it’s let me catch up on the forums the past few days and OMG! So glad to see your own updates. How have you been? As one person to another who’s in that journey currently, you are amazing and you got this!
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RE: Real life happy
An All Happy Update!
I’m now older (still waiting on that wiser part)!
The household is less sick.
I got a job offer today!
I still have mini panther cuddles.
As a side note, another real life happy is how much I’ve improved with handling my anxiety even in the last year. Before when I’ve lost my job I’ve fallen into overwhelming depression with self deprecating panic. This time I stayed calm, focused on what positive I still had and knew the situation would change it wasn’t an ‘if’ it was a ‘when’.
Idk if that’s the wiser part. Either way it feels pretty great.
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RE: Real life happy
This is a vent and a happy, but I’m posting it here because I’m choosing to focus on the positive so follow me for my roller coaster ride.
I got laid off from my job today. (Booo!)
Tomorrow is my birthday! (Yay!)
My boss said it is no fault of my own, I’m amazing and it’s the company downsizing so she’s giving me severance and has provided a glowing recommendation letter. (Yay!)
My entire household is sick. (Boo!)
I already have three interviews set up after an afternoon of application submissions. (Yay!)
My mini panther is giving me early birthday cuddles! (YAAAAY!)
So yeah.
Real footage of me today:
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RE: Cookie's parade of goofs!
@saiiwolf said in Saiiwolf’s parade of goofs!:
PLEASE NOTE that I played on these games during periods of immense RL upheaval & growth (RP and teenage hormones, dear God); throughout some pretty gnarly self-esteem issues and… quite frankly, before I got medicated with sertraline and gagged most (not all) of the brain weasels.
I mean…if you haven’t used MUSH as a coping tool for RL angst and emotional processing…have you even MUSHed? >.>
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RE: Good things in Mushing
Having a positive evening of staffing. In both knowing the answer to all the player questions that came up and being able to help a new player have their introduction scene and realizing it was a positive experience. I love being able to be part of other people’s journeys in the same hobby that has been such a significant part of my life.
I still have the classic ‘first scene’ paralysis with a new character. Or anxiety when participating in a large scene. Even though I’ve staffed several games I still also have imposter syndrome a lot of the times as I’m sure so many here can understand.
So having a night where I feel that confidence of “I am deserving of the staff title I’ve been trusted with” and joy of “This is why I love this game/hobby/staff team” is always fun.
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RE: Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
TW: Toxic Family/Childhood
While it’s gotten easier as an adult, the holidays are never 100% fun and happy when it comes to travel and time together.
I love my family, but I feel like the time I spend with them is always a balance of positive exchanges weighted by the memories of past difficulties. Am I stepping on eggshells out of habit and imagining the landmines are still there? Or no matter how much better things may have gotten is there some level to which people don’t really change? I’m grateful for the positive memories I never thought I’d have since giving second chances and establishing boundaries. I also can’t discredit the growth I’ve witnessed and apologies I’ve received for these past mistreatments.
Getting older meant I was able to move out on my own, build my own life and finally get therapy for myself. I just thought at some point it would also mean I got over the traumas of my past. The older I get though the more I learn you never ‘get over’ your pain you simply learn a healthier way of living with it. Like a muscle in training, your heart just gets stronger as it becomes used to weight and continued motions of this exercise.
It also helps that I’m surrounded by more people who love me than who hurt me now. I have realized the importance of both my existence and my opinions. No matter what happens in the upcoming weeks, I get to return to a place and routine with people who make me feel valued.
To those who also have a holiday season that is stressful, whether for the above or any other reason: You’ve got this. You matter and we will get through this. This has been late night (early morning??) thoughts with SockMonkey. Thank you for tuning in.
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RE: Planners
I started using bullet journals after my therapist suggested them and they greatly helped with my adhd, executive dysfunction and anxiety. That being said, I still have days where anxiety wins out and it feels more overwhelming to try and make my own layout.
So I got this both for the anxiety days and for easier on the go scheduling. I like that it has the same bullets and boxes as I’d make with a bullet journal. I just don’t have to spend the spoon to design it instead!
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RE: Character Commissions 2: Electric Boogaloo
In case anyone is on the fence about ordering their commission, I can speak from previous purchase experience that @Zz 's work is beautiful! I have had a couple commissions done by them. Each has their own fun representation of the characters amplified by the unique artistic eye that Zz offers. I am so happy with the previous results and can’t wait for this new piece!