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MU Peeves Thread
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@tsar said in MU Peeves Thread:
Just leave. If you remove the audience, you remove what they’re after.
This. Why should I have to remove myself from RP when someone’s decided to make other people their captive audience?
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
While we still have a long way to go, <snip>
YES. Yes yes yes to all of this. I think you really made good points and that’s exactly what I’m saying. Rather than trying to have some sort of weird publicly shamey but behind the scenes everything is different sort of culture, just talk that shit out.
Set game wide expectations of behavior and empower players to speak up against things that make them uncomfortable. We tend to relegate too much to talking behind someone’s back or let it eat us up and just ‘deal with it’ because maybe it seems like no one else is bothered. I’ve been guilty of it too.
Honestly though, if I’m in a scene with A and B, and then C and D come in and start behaving in a way that makes me uncomfortable (which honestly doesn’t have to always be sexual in nature) but I don’t feel comfortable myself saying ‘hey weirdos, cut that out’, I would hope that I can page A and B and be like ‘hey, this isn’t working for me, can we move the scene?’ If they can’t, why am I going to invest my time working on building a story with them?
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@tsar Did you miss this? — Additionally, loud and clear boundary setting should be the gold standard. I’d rather hear a complaint of ‘these people were doing this and several of us stated that we didn’t feel comfortable with the scene and they continued to ignore our boundaries’ rather than ‘I wish people wouldn’t do this because ew’. Is there a difference? Absolutely. One scenario expects others to recognize that people are making you uncomfortable. The other gives them the option to either respect your feelings without any guessing games. It shows other players healthy boundary setting and communication. —
Because I think y’all might have missed that whole part.
Understandable, have a nice day.
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@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
Because I think y’all might have missed that whole part.
There’s a lot to miss.
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@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
But I mean TBF I don’t think the definition of weird sex culture is like, boning in public or whatever.
Ok, but you keep addressing it like it’s a sex in public thing. What is ‘weird sex culture’? And frankly, if it’s the culture of the game and you’re not vibing that’s kind of on you and different from people who interrupt scenes with something that’s not the accepted norm.
It’s more like … on several non-consent WoD games
I’m gonna be that bitch. I see zero reason for a game to be non-consent. Absolutely none.
I used to play, where I was told that as a mortal I shouldn’t go out in public alone because I’d get SA’d and/or murdered by a vampire/werewolf/whatever because WoD is so DARK AND GRITTY and it’s just acceptable culturally to do that sort of thing. That’s a pretty extreme example but goes with what I’m saying here.
Murder, uh yeah. Murder is pretty on point. I think SA as a built in ‘woooo suuuuper daaaark’ threat is lazy and cliche.
Understandable, have a nice day.
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@helvetica said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
Because I think y’all might have missed that whole part.
There’s a lot to miss.
I’m less than ideally medicated and am doing my level best.
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@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
As pro kink as I am, do I love people being roped into other peoples public displays of whatever? No. But I’m honestly not going to be outspoken about it like I once was. Just leave. If you remove the audience, you remove what they’re after. Only you can set your boundaries and you’re in charge of them. (Unless it’s your work place RL then everyone can fuck right off because no one wants to be there in the first place, don’t make shit weird).
I’m going to return to this passage, because I don’t believe it’s as clear as you may think it is. When you suggest that people should “just leave”, it shifts responsibility.
It’s now the responsibility of the person uncomfortable to leave. It’s now their responsibility to remove the audience.
That said, I think we generally agree on a large number of other points and it’s possible stuff is just getting lost in semantics. But that’s how I took what you wrote there.
Moving along:
Despite previous posts, lol, I’m not a hardcore confrontational person (unless you’re that dude who thoughtposed and RPed cabbages at me). If I run into someone and they’re generally kind of weird, I’ll make an effort to avoid them. I won’t hop into their scenes, because I think it’s fair to allow them the RP they want without my interruptions.
But in general like, just don’t wander into people’s scenes and be disruptive. It might not be work, but it’s my hobby time and I’d rather not have to swim against the current here too.
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@tsar said in MU Peeves Thread:
Despite previous posts, lol, I’m not a hardcore confrontational person
did someone say CONFRONTATIONAL
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@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
@tsar said in MU Peeves Thread:
Despite previous posts, lol, I’m not a hardcore confrontational person
did someone say CONFRONTATIONAL
lol I almost tagged you to say “I need @Roz here to confirm my deep fear of confrontation”
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@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
What is ‘weird sex culture’?
I tried out a new game. The lore the game is based on is sexist af, it is known, and the game runners were remaining more or less dedicated to the original theme with a few exceptions that made me feel slightly better about dipping my toe in. But then the highest-ranking female character, an NPC, seemed trotted out for sex more than anything else. And male PCs had lists of sexual conquests in their IC connections. And a few other red flags popped up that now escape me. Anyway, I bounced! Didn’t name and shame because it was not an abusive situation. It was just a weird sex culture that I didn’t sign up for.
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@tsar said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
As pro kink as I am, do I love people being roped into other peoples public displays of whatever? No. But I’m honestly not going to be outspoken about it like I once was. Just leave. If you remove the audience, you remove what they’re after. Only you can set your boundaries and you’re in charge of them. (Unless it’s your work place RL then everyone can fuck right off because no one wants to be there in the first place, don’t make shit weird).
I’m going to return to this passage, because I don’t believe it’s as clear as you may think it is. When you suggest that people should “just leave”, it shifts responsibility.
It’s now the responsibility of the person uncomfortable to leave. It’s now their responsibility to remove the audience.
I personally am non confrontational and would rather just leave, no skin off my nose. It’s the first thought that comes to mind. A lot of people, myself in the past included, would remain, be miserable, but also not speak up, and hate the whole thing.
You keep fixating on that line and ignoring my whole ‘gold standard’ statement, which I believe in, despite the fact that I know from personal experience and statements literally on this board that some of us suffer from anxiety and aren’t going to go all Ace Attorney and object to fuck all.
That said, I think we generally agree on a large number of other points and it’s possible stuff is just getting lost in semantics. But that’s how I took what you wrote there.
Moving along:
Despite previous posts, lol, I’m not a hardcore confrontational person (unless you’re that dude who thoughtposed and RPed cabbages at me). If I run into someone and they’re generally kind of weird, I’ll make an effort to avoid them. I won’t hop into their scenes, because I think it’s fair to allow them the RP they want without my interruptions.
Literally same, hence first inclination is leave, but that statement seems to have caused some sort of issue.
But in general like, just don’t wander into people’s scenes and be disruptive. It might not be work, but it’s my hobby time and I’d rather not have to swim against the current here too.
Yeah, that would be great, but clearly either they don’t realize it’s an issue, so you have to say something, or they don’t care, leaving the only solution for immediate relief is to leave.
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I’m really confrontational.
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@helvetica said in MU Peeves Thread:
But then the highest-ranking female character, an NPC, seemed trotted out for sex more than anything else. And male PCs had lists of sexual conquests in their IC connections.
Yeah I can see how that would be off putting for sure. But at least they were up front about it!
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@helvetica said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
guys i heard @helvetica wants to ban all TS and sexual content from every game on the internet
No More Boners
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No matter how nice the staff and how clear the expectations, there’s always going to be people (and maybe a good amount of them) who just won’t feel comfortable speak out. And some who are happy to speak out vociferously about stuff that is right there in the lore/files/policies as being Just Fine. Maybe before I got old I might have had more of a SHOULDA expectation about this, but I don’t have it in me now.
So if someone needs to leave, then that’s fine. They’re not less bad ass for deciding that it’s not worth the aggravation of confronting someone who might be dumb as shit or a major tableflipper or like maybe they’ve had circular conversations with their teenagers/kids all day RL and just don’t want to have to go in AGAIN on the game and do it. I don’t think anyone’s saying they have a problem with it.
I personally might speak up if it’s important to me and I feel it’s important to push past the discomfort, and I don’t think things have pushed past the threshold of going to staff first. But when dealing with someone who’s making an experience uncomfortable for me, I just don’t feel obligated to do more than step away most of the time. I appreciate when others DO feel motivated. But I’m tired and these days I have enough unpleasantness to deal with that I think carefully about what kind of potential nastiness I choose to take on.
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Like most MU* peeve conversations, this one has become exhausting. No one is less than for wanting to leave a situation without confrontation, no one is a super saiyan slut for wanting to TS, no one here is promoting purity culture or whatever because we don’t want TS in our face 24/7.
Just do you, keep it consensual, and don’t be dicks. Because we’re still banning dicks.
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can i state clearly that my peeve is that @helvetica DIDN’T name and shame, so i’ll now never know what game is doing this so i can get a minute of laughs?
but to be clear, i don’t MU* anymore so i don’t need a name and shame, because i am not joining the game anyways.
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@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
no one is a super saiyan slut for wanting to TS
TY for the character concept.
she/they
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@Tez just don’t get confused for a super satan slut!
