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Asking for RP
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@Snackness said in Asking for RP:
I have a constant grinding fear of overinflicting myself on someone. So I’ll reach out usually a lot less than I’d like to.
I am definitely not ever overinflicted by you!
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@Tat said in Asking for RP:
The fear of overinflicting is why I prefer asking for RP on the RP channel most of the time. Because if someone says yes there, it’s because they wanted to, and not because I put them ON THE SPOT!
That’s funny.
I’m the exact opposite.I’m not usually perturbed if my asks on channel get ignored ('cause how many times have I personally sat back down at my computer 3 hours after someone asked and been like GODDAMMIT I wish I’d been here 3 hours ago to say yes!!), but I feel a lot more comfortable paging someone directly.
Admittedly, it’s because I usually have some kind of agenda for a scene. Even my “random fluff” needs to have momentum, so I don’t actually do a lot of random pick-up scenes off the channel. It’s a thing I need to work on.
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I enjoy setting up open scenes on Ares and don’t mind if people don’t answer.
Conversely, I’m afraid of joining already in progress scenes, lol.
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I like to ask because I know it feels good to be asked. Typically I try to include an “out” like “if you’re just chilling that’s cool too!” so if they secretly hate me they can say no, haha.
Typically I am not playing characters that seem like romance options so I do sometimes get hung up on “that person who is looking for rp probably doesn’t want to play with someone like me.” I have definitely had people tell me directly that they’re not interested in playing with me because I am not their flirting type. That’s a blow to the ol’ self esteem lol.
But most days I think I have my own weird flavor to offer and maybe people will feel good I asked them even if they’re not looking for that flavor right this second.
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I use to ask all the time. But as I fall out of the hobby, I tend to only go if invited now.
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@imstillhere said in Asking for RP:
I have definitely had people tell me directly that they’re not interested in playing with me because I am not their flirting type.
I mean, at least they’re honest about what they’re here for!
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I said 50/50, but I should probably clarify that at any given point during my trajectory, it’s probably skewed one way or the other.
I usually have a lot of energy and ‘proactivity’ when I first take on a new character. So I’m reaching out to people, I’m asking on channels, I’m creating scenes to pitch to people. Playing with anyone who will give me the time of day.
But as I get into a character and a game, that energy tends to drain away over time and I become much more reactive. It’s harder and harder to reach out, to pitch the scene, to throw myself into play with anyone who’s out and about. So I ask less and less, even if I want to play. I’m just too tired and worn down to ask. So my scenes end up being usually who asks me to play or responding to asks on channels.
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I mainly ask for rp. I tend to suggest scenes on the local rp channel or put up a post looking for people with PC interested in similar activities.
Worst response when trying to set rp up: We have NPCs for that.
Every PC could be an NPC.Close runner up: I saw your post - get in touch about rp if you want.
I told you what I want to do. What do you want to do. -
@Pyrephox said in Asking for RP:
I said 50/50, but I should probably clarify that at any given point during my trajectory, it’s probably skewed one way or the other.
I usually have a lot of energy and ‘proactivity’ when I first take on a new character. So I’m reaching out to people, I’m asking on channels, I’m creating scenes to pitch to people. Playing with anyone who will give me the time of day.
But as I get into a character and a game, that energy tends to drain away over time and I become much more reactive. It’s harder and harder to reach out, to pitch the scene, to throw myself into play with anyone who’s out and about. So I ask less and less, even if I want to play. I’m just too tired and worn down to ask. So my scenes end up being usually who asks me to play or responding to asks on channels.
This describes my own habits to a T with most games. I’ll go through waves of ‘let me get all the rp, let me tag everyone’ to ‘I’ll just hang out and see what happens’
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@imstillhere Yeah, but if you do have a character that is romancable, it’s jut as likely that staff will send the bears after you.
Also, I’m always happy to RP with you, nerd.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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I hadn’t really thought about people worried that me asking for RP meant I was most interested in my pc getting into their pants/skirts. Though now that I think about it, I usually on my male PCs will just sit in public or ask through a channel or the equivalent, and I rarely page people I don’t already know or have some kind of connection to offer RP via private pages, precisely because I don’t want to be seen as that kind of weirdo. (I already know I’m a more benign weirdo)
I haven’t had anyone be personally rude about it though. Unless you count places where new people give a bonus to RP so when you ask on channel for RP and a bunch of people show up to say one line to your PC and then just RP with each other while dropping you +RSes. I do not think I’ve had that happen since Arx though. It has happened at least once with every PC I’ve had on Arx except for my first, where I wasted my 2 weeks being too afraid to ask or go out for RP at all until I read everything including journals.
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@Testament said in Asking for RP:
if you do have a character that is romancable, it’s jut as likely that staff will send the bears after you.
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@mietze said in Asking for RP:
I rarely page people I don’t already know or have some kind of connection to offer RP via private pages, precisely because I don’t want to be seen as that kind of weirdo. (I already know I’m a more benign weirdo)
Hi, this is me, although I only ever feel that way when I’m playing a male character. I’d rather let people come to me in those cases? But I don’t get weird when other people playing dudes page me if I’m playing a girl so maybe I’m overthinking it.
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@bear_necessities yeah my dudes I will offer on chan a lot (not just a rp chan but smaller group ones like org/family/faction) or if it is a game with a grid hang out in public. Once I scene with people a few times and they seem to dig it I will page. On my female pcs I will page and channel without much thought! It is interesting to think about.
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And now I am just boggled realizing that apparently I do actually care about whether people perceive my reaching out on a male pc to be TS hounding despite that most of my male pcs are unlikely to be in those situations either (they trend towards monogamous personally even if their partner is not). Whereas my female pcs who are much more likely to engage in that play and ICly happy to get into pants or skirts or overalls without much restriction like I don’t even think about that perception when asking. WTF is that even.
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@mietze I really do think it’s internal perception because we’ve probably both been there getting dudes paging you trying to get in your pants and regardless of whether or not that’s your purpose for paging you don’t want to be perceived that way???
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@mietze said in Asking for RP:
WTF is that even.
This thread is FULL of the self-conscious nuttiness we invent in our heads. This is just one more.
If it matters… I’ve been sex-pested way more while playing guys than girls over the years. I’m more likely to look sideways at a random page from a female PC to my male PC than from a male PC to my female PC.
This is probably a product of playing Pern, where finding an unclaimed dong on the grid was like finding a gd leprechaun.
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I almost exclusively play female characters (because I don’t think I’m good at writing men), and I’m never worried that male PCs that are reaching out for RP are TS-hounding.
Unless that person has been inappropriate in public or to me before, that has not once been a concern of mine.
There are so many horror stories of men behaving badly in MU*ing but I really believe those are noisy outliers. Most of the male PCs and male players I play with or have played with are amazing dudes, 10/10.
But when the sexpests show up, boy, I am ready with that smoke.
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@KarmaBum said in Asking for RP:
This is probably a product of playing Pern, where finding an unclaimed dong on the grid was like finding a gd leprechaun.
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There’s also a difference between:
“we should rp sometimes”
“hey, i’d really like to rp with you!”
“we should totally rp!”
“let’s rp some time!”
… and …
“Hey. Would you like a scene right now?”
“Are you up for RP about [topic]?”
“We have this thing to talk about, I’ll start a scene!”
These are two fundamentally different ways of asking for RP. I am MUCH MORE LIKELY to register the former from friends I am close to than from strangers, whereas the latter always catches my attention, regardless of who says it, because it’s precise and promises an actual outcome.
I don’t count “we should RP sometime” from strangers as ‘asking me for RP’, because it’s not asking me for RP, it’s stating a nebulous desire.
Mind you, I do this too, I am 100% guilty of paging someone with “we should totally scene”, but I don’t expect anything from them based on that, and I usually follow it up with an actual request.
Sometimes I don’t because I get distracted or forget, but that’s not the point; the point is what do we actually consider as ‘asking for RP’?
In Occam I trust.
