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Ruiz Thread
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This just makes me sigh.
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@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
If this person is Ruiz then I feel even less comfortable with painting him as a victim because this is precisely his MO. We can hate on Macha without turning the other person into a victim - in fact, it is hilarious to me that these two crazy people found each other to be crazy at.
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So, I’m not going to set any “record straight”. But here is my experience with Isaac/Character X.
When they apped onto the pack a couple of my friends (Hexe, Coin) reached out and said “hey heads up this looks like someone who has a habit of harem building and gaslighting and stalking”.
I said “ok, I’ll keep an eye on it”.
Then Isaac put in a request, without speaking to her, to be attached to Darling’s build. Darling expressed discomfort and that she had a history with the player and did not want them to be connected to her build since Isaac had not reached out first.
I sat Isaac down and had a conversation with them, saying: Hey, you have a reputation that is not good and you did a shady thing. You’re not being asked to leave or banned right now, but I want you to be aware I know of your reputation and want to know why you did this shady thing.
Isaac said they thought since Darling had been willing to speak with them OOC and RP in a scene Isaac was in that they thought it meant they could establish communication again and be friends once more.
I said, nah. Don’t do that again.
And from there I did not see actual proof of harem building other than having private scenes with different people, but at least with Machakenzie they were OOCly clear about not wanting to be exclusive with her character.
Refusing to post logs is sus. But that was the only proof I had. So maybe they changed? Or maybe they were just behaving because I made it known I knew about their past behavior.
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@Cobalt is Darling hexe? I ask because that’s extremely disgusting that they would ask that knowing the history between them.
I read the logs. They haven’t changed. The fact that they asked you to come here to remotely defend them tells me that.
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@bear_necessities I really don’t want to say yes or no, because I do not have permission from Darling’s player to out her Ares handle.
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@Cobalt said in Ruiz Thread:
@bear_necessities I really don’t want to say yes or no, because I do not have permission from Darling’s player to out her Ares handle.
Though that information is still publicly available on Ares Central.
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Yeah I mean, it’s on the The Pack’s website, if someone’s linked their handle to a character I’d say that generally means they’re consciously making it public.
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@Cobalt ok but you outted who she was and a two second search showed me her ares handle but OK.
I’ll give you my story of Ruiz: Ruiz followed us to gray harbor from calaveras where they had hooked up to extremely problematic people. They were engaged in a gm scene with myself and Kb where they started to flip their shit when they didn’t get to kill the bad guy on their terms single-handedly. At that time I was going to ban them but didn’t. Maybe a month later, they came to us about a player who I believe was Hexe. They told us that they wanted to get ahead of some “ic” drama that bled ooc. That player reported Ruiz shortly thereafter for harassment and gaslighting.
I should have banned Ruiz earlier. Instead I gave them the benefit of the doubt because beyond that one GM scene? They seemed fine. Good RPer, involved in plot. I told Ruiz and this other player to leave each other alone. I deeply regret my decision.
When I found out Ruiz was gaslighting, stalking and harem building players after I left GH, I knew I had fucked up. Ruiz also tried to convince me and KB that they weren’t the bad guy, they never did anything!!! Etc. They are very good at manipulating people and not being seen enough to get away with it.
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@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
ok but you outted who she was and a two second search showed me her ares handle but OK.
She’s covering her ass, totally understandable given the circumstances.
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@Pavel said in Ruiz Thread:
@Cobalt said in Ruiz Thread:
@bear_necessities I really don’t want to say yes or no, because I do not have permission from Darling’s player to out her Ares handle.
Though that information is still publicly available on Ares Central.
Shit, I didn’t realize she had linked her handle. I’m not covering my ass, you jerk.
I consider Hexe my friend and I honestly did not realize she had linked her handle, or I would have edited her character name.
@bear_necessities Yikes. Thank you for the background, I’ll add their IP to the list of pre banned from my next project. Hexe had explained some of it to me but I just didn’t listen well enough.
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@Cobalt For the record, as far as I can tell, the reason why that player refuses to post logs is because they do not want a record of their IC actions in one-on-one scenes that people can verify against their OOC words. It’s not just sus, it’s a tool that they have used in multiple places to enable the harassment of other players.
I played with that player, and enjoyed a lot of scenes with them, but so far, everything is textbook about their maladaptive behaviors. They haven’t changed.
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@Cobalt said in Ruiz Thread:
I’m not covering my ass, you jerk.
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@Pyrephox said in Ruiz Thread:
I played with that player, and enjoyed a lot of scenes with them, but so far, everything is textbook about their maladaptive behaviors. They haven’t changed.
Likewise. And this is just part of what she does. She stays on the good side of the right people long enough… She was clearly cozying up to Cobalt, just like she cozied up to GH staff.
I will never not be embarrassed that I wrote plot for this person even after Bear was like “dude, pretty sure they’re a creeper.”
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Yeah - Until the very end they had me CONVINCED I was the bad person in the interactions. I fell over myself apologizing for hurting them and making them uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I found myself sobbing with my laptop on my lap at the top of a staircase that I finally realized - this wasn’t okay. It WASN’T ooc personal my female alt didn’t like their PC. It WASN’T my fault I didn’t want to RP some things. All of those were perfectly good boundaries and I was being emotionally manipulated by someone who knew exactly what to say and when to say it.
Now, do I think the person behind the screen is some kind of cartoon villain twirling their mustache, petting a white cat, and itching to press the destroy button? Nah. I think they found a way of behaving that typically results in them getting attention (often it doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative) and so they repeat the behavior because it fills a need.
If they are reading this, I hope they know that it is possible to get attention for doing the right things. This doesn’t have to be your entire internet legacy.
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I came to a game when asked by a friend.
I created a char and that char became platonic friends with Ruiz’ character. They presented to me IC as gay, so flirting was just teasing not serious IC.Then they put me in a very trauma inducing scene. They refused to let me leave the scene. Then when their IC SO got upset OOC. They asked for a retcon. I felt OOC violated but at the same time (I know it sounds stupid) I felt like I had done something wrong in it. So I said sure and it would probably be best that we not interact.
Then they would come into any scene that I was publicly in to make me nope out. They would page me how I was being mean to them and showing how horrible I was. How I just used people, etc. and that’s shown by my distancing myself. — Ignore I was trying to create a boundary.
They would also tell me about their RL difficulties and that is why they couldn’t read the room, etc.
Then I just silently left the game. No fanfare. I would log on and just be struck with an inability to talk to anyone or do anything because I thought they would show up.
The person that started out as my friend was no longer my friend without explanation and I was hurt and unsure how to process that, but I just walked away.
After I left, someone finally asked me what happened there in a private message because shit was going down for others. So I told them what happened and what went down. This is where I learned that they were telling people lies about the interactions, about my RL intergrity, and just a whole lot of bad shit.
They know what they are doing. They don’t care or they would stop doing it. I’m sure they aren’t the evil because I normally think people aren’t but hurting others isn’t a cry for help; it’s abuse.
That said. I’m not fully sure I’m fully over it now. I still get panic over thinking I’ve mis-stepped or whatnot and I don’t want to form friendships OOC and a lot more that’s come from it.
Anyways. That’s my run in, on this board as well.
Moving on – just realize there are real people behind the fictional characters online. Take a deep breath and just try to be kind.
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KK asked on MSB if anyone could give her Ruiz’s tells because she might have run into him and Derp’s response was “there’s scattered threads about this here forum” with an after thought of I’ll see what I can find.
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@Cobalt You might refer her to this thread; I think people have given a few good outlines of the player’s SOP up above. The biggest consistent points I’ve seen is an extreme desire to keep IC romantic play private, consistent misrepresentation of that play to other players in order to make their romantic partners the “bad guys”, and when called on their bad behavior they have a tendency to say that they “can’t read the room” or “didn’t mean for it to be seen that way but aren’t good with people” or “didn’t remember it happening that way, but it would be better if <you did what they want>” or they’re “too busy/anxious/panicking right now and can’t talk about it”, then coming back and acting like things had been decided in their favor. They’ll usually be very enthusiastic about pursuing high drama, high intensity plots/scenes, but then try to guilt trip and pressure other players about how those scenes turned out if they weren’t exactly what they wanted (but will rarely actually talk about what they want in a straightforward way).