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Ruiz Thread
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Yeah - Until the very end they had me CONVINCED I was the bad person in the interactions. I fell over myself apologizing for hurting them and making them uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I found myself sobbing with my laptop on my lap at the top of a staircase that I finally realized - this wasn’t okay. It WASN’T ooc personal my female alt didn’t like their PC. It WASN’T my fault I didn’t want to RP some things. All of those were perfectly good boundaries and I was being emotionally manipulated by someone who knew exactly what to say and when to say it.
Now, do I think the person behind the screen is some kind of cartoon villain twirling their mustache, petting a white cat, and itching to press the destroy button? Nah. I think they found a way of behaving that typically results in them getting attention (often it doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative) and so they repeat the behavior because it fills a need.
If they are reading this, I hope they know that it is possible to get attention for doing the right things. This doesn’t have to be your entire internet legacy.
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I came to a game when asked by a friend.
I created a char and that char became platonic friends with Ruiz’ character. They presented to me IC as gay, so flirting was just teasing not serious IC.Then they put me in a very trauma inducing scene. They refused to let me leave the scene. Then when their IC SO got upset OOC. They asked for a retcon. I felt OOC violated but at the same time (I know it sounds stupid) I felt like I had done something wrong in it. So I said sure and it would probably be best that we not interact.
Then they would come into any scene that I was publicly in to make me nope out. They would page me how I was being mean to them and showing how horrible I was. How I just used people, etc. and that’s shown by my distancing myself. — Ignore I was trying to create a boundary.
They would also tell me about their RL difficulties and that is why they couldn’t read the room, etc.
Then I just silently left the game. No fanfare. I would log on and just be struck with an inability to talk to anyone or do anything because I thought they would show up.
The person that started out as my friend was no longer my friend without explanation and I was hurt and unsure how to process that, but I just walked away.
After I left, someone finally asked me what happened there in a private message because shit was going down for others. So I told them what happened and what went down. This is where I learned that they were telling people lies about the interactions, about my RL intergrity, and just a whole lot of bad shit.
They know what they are doing. They don’t care or they would stop doing it. I’m sure they aren’t the evil because I normally think people aren’t but hurting others isn’t a cry for help; it’s abuse.
That said. I’m not fully sure I’m fully over it now. I still get panic over thinking I’ve mis-stepped or whatnot and I don’t want to form friendships OOC and a lot more that’s come from it.
Anyways. That’s my run in, on this board as well.
Moving on – just realize there are real people behind the fictional characters online. Take a deep breath and just try to be kind.
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KK asked on MSB if anyone could give her Ruiz’s tells because she might have run into him and Derp’s response was “there’s scattered threads about this here forum” with an after thought of I’ll see what I can find.
Cobalt@Under the Stars
cob.alt@Discord
Cobalt#[email protected] -
@Cobalt You might refer her to this thread; I think people have given a few good outlines of the player’s SOP up above. The biggest consistent points I’ve seen is an extreme desire to keep IC romantic play private, consistent misrepresentation of that play to other players in order to make their romantic partners the “bad guys”, and when called on their bad behavior they have a tendency to say that they “can’t read the room” or “didn’t mean for it to be seen that way but aren’t good with people” or “didn’t remember it happening that way, but it would be better if <you did what they want>” or they’re “too busy/anxious/panicking right now and can’t talk about it”, then coming back and acting like things had been decided in their favor. They’ll usually be very enthusiastic about pursuing high drama, high intensity plots/scenes, but then try to guilt trip and pressure other players about how those scenes turned out if they weren’t exactly what they wanted (but will rarely actually talk about what they want in a straightforward way).
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@Cobalt She should be able to just do a search on ‘Ruiz’ and find plenty on MSB. IIRC there was a LOT of chatter there when GH closed down.
I can’t check my work though cause, y’know, BANNED.
ETA: I’m pretty sure it was all in the Hog Pit though so idk if it’s still there…
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@Snackness The Hog Pit’s still there and visible, it’s just in archive form.
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Thanks, appreciate that, KK here.
the guy I am thinking about has all those tells and then some, but not comfortable going into it. But I appreciate hearing the tells if anything to help me process wtf happened.
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@Laurel if it is someone at the new harvest moon game it is very possible it is them.
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They also like violence and biting hamstrings and having their lovers go “teehee <the character> is so violent but I love them”.
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@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
They also like violence and biting hamstrings and having their lovers go “teehee <the character> is so violent but I love them”.
I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with that by itself.
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@bear_necessities The hamstrings hurk
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@Laurel said in Ruiz Thread:
Thanks, appreciate that, KK here.
the guy I am thinking about has all those tells and then some, but not comfortable going into it. But I appreciate hearing the tells if anything to help me process wtf happened.
I’ll repeat what I said above: If someone is behaving that way to you, it doesn’t matter if it’s this player or not. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, and if you’re uncomfortable, please recognize that you have a right to be.
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@shit-piss-love I don’t think that’s what she was implying, 'cause trust me, hamstring-biting would be tame compared to some of the weird shit Bear’s RPed
It’s more just part of the pattern of behavior. If you notice this person in a bunch of one-on-one scenes that never seem to get posted + the other people in those scenes start making allusions to rough sex…
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@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
They also like violence and biting hamstrings
Like… during
foreplaysex??Cobalt@Under the Stars
cob.alt@Discord
Cobalt#[email protected] -
@Cobalt said in Ruiz Thread:
@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
They also like violence and biting hamstrings
Like… during foreplay??
Do you really think these people know about foreplay?
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
@Pavel fair enough
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@Cobalt said in Ruiz Thread:
@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
They also like violence and biting hamstrings
Like… during
foreplaysex??I’m not sure nor do I want to be filled in on the details but the scene I read was the confirmation that Ruiz ripped out his lover’s hamstring and the person was hobbling around on a cane. Yeah.
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@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
@Cobalt said in Ruiz Thread:
@bear_necessities said in Ruiz Thread:
They also like violence and biting hamstrings
Like… during
foreplaysex??I’m not sure nor do I want to be filled in on the details but the scene I read was the confirmation that Ruiz ripped out his lover’s hamstring and the person was hobbling around on a cane. Yeah.
@KarmaBum said in Ruiz Thread:
@shit-piss-love I don’t think that’s what she was implying, 'cause trust me, hamstring-biting would be tame compared to some of the weird shit Bear’s RPed
It’s more just part of the pattern of behavior. If you notice this person in a bunch of one-on-one scenes that never seem to get posted + the other people in those scenes start making allusions to rough sex…
Oh uh… Carry on.
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