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    Bannings

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Rough and Rowdy
    1.6k Posts 73 Posters 548.8k Views
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    • G
      GF
      last edited by

      Hey, you. Yeah, you, the one reading this. No, I don’t know who you are. Doesn’t matter for what I’m about to say, and if you think it does, you are incorrect.

      You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are. Got it? You better, because if I catch you saying otherwise, you will be in trouble.

      Good. Now go on, get outta here. Go conquer the world. You got this.

      IoleRaeI L. B. HeuschkelL 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 12
      • IoleRaeI
        IoleRae @GF
        last edited by

        @GF said in Bannings:

        You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are.

        This is so important.

        the entity previously known as Sunny

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
        • AriaA
          Aria
          last edited by Aria

          Look, people can talk about how toxic and broken the community is and don’t get me wrong here - there are definitely people that are bad actors, there are behaviors that are problematic, there are persistent attitudes that I wish would just fuck off and die already.

          But… I have had people in the community help me out during a pet emergency. I’ve sent groceries and home furnishings to people in the community. I’ve had people help my husband get a job. I’ve reviewed and rewritten other people’s resumes. A handful of MUers I know are literally the only people who try to use my pronouns correctly and respect my identity, including literally all of my family and almost all of my friends and definitely every single person I work with.

          There is just as much, if not far more, good than there is bad – just like in most every community. And yes, you should point out the bad. You should try to fix it. You should make a space safer and more welcoming.

          But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, if all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…

          I dunno, boo. Maybe the problem is just that you need something to constantly rail against so you can make yourself feel superior?

          T PavelP farfallaF 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 11
          • L. B. HeuschkelL
            L. B. Heuschkel @GF
            last edited by

            @GF said in Bannings:

            You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are. Got it? You better, because if I catch you saying otherwise, you will be in trouble.

            I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

            Any pronouns. Come to Chincoteague. We have ponies. http://keys.aresmush.com

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
            • T
              Testament @Aria
              last edited by

              @Aria said in Bannings:

              But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, of all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…

              This was me for a long time. Less about feeling superior but more consistent fixation on it coupled with an undiagnosed clinical depression at the time.

              While I’m still a pessimist, it’s at least been tempered with reminders that there are reasons to not expect constant disappointment.

              And it took them a long good while, but @Aria did play a large role in shaking me free of that particular mindset. So they’re absolutely right, there is more good than bad. I just have to be reminded of it.

              I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021

              AriaA 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
              • PavelP
                Pavel @Aria
                last edited by

                @Aria said in Bannings:

                Maybe the problem is just that you need something to constantly rail against so you can make yourself feel superior?

                that's me

                He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
                BE AN ADULT

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                • AriaA
                  Aria @Testament
                  last edited by

                  @Testament said in Bannings:

                  And it took them a long good while, but @Aria did play a large role in shaking me free of that particular mindset. So they’re absolutely right, there is more good than bad. I just have to be reminded of it.

                  I am terrible at human emotions. Vulnerability is gross and also possibly contagious and that is profoundly concerning because feelings are those unfortunate things that happen to other people.

                  I am, however, happy to yell at people to stop being miserable and sad. Or physically force them into something productive as a distraction. You would be surprised how often this actually works.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • farfallaF
                    farfalla @Aria
                    last edited by

                    @Aria If you’re comfortable sharing in public, what are your pronouns so I can make sure I’m using the right ones?

                    as previously stated, good day.

                    AriaA 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 8
                    • AriaA
                      Aria @farfalla
                      last edited by

                      @farfalla

                      ❤ ❤

                      I prefer they/them. She/her is also fine. Like, I won’t be mad about it or offended if someone uses that, especially given how complicated my own feelings about gender are and the fact that my body-type adds a lived experience I will always have thrust on me barring major surgery I don’t want, but I do get the warm fuzzies when folks at least try.

                      farfallaF 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 15
                      • farfallaF
                        farfalla @Aria
                        last edited by

                        @Aria Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of us are more than willing to try 🙂

                        as previously stated, good day.

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 11
                        • AriaA
                          Aria
                          last edited by

                          Flutter

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                          • RozR
                            Roz
                            last edited by

                            Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

                            she/her | playlist

                            MourneM AriaA 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 20
                            • MourneM
                              Mourne @Roz
                              last edited by Mourne

                              @Roz said in Bannings:

                              Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

                              Cuz that just makes it /better/, they absolutely /know/ that you’re yelling and being angry with /them/ and not just some nebulous pronouns 😉

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
                              • AriaA
                                Aria @Roz
                                last edited by

                                @Roz said in Bannings:

                                Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

                                I laughed way harder at this than I should have.

                                See, everyone? @Roz has it.

                                “They’re being a totally shitty asshole.”
                                “I want to yell at them.”
                                “Ugh, Aria. They’re the fucking wooooorst.”

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                • RenR
                                  Ren
                                  last edited by

                                  There isn’t some sort of nodebb plugin that’d let people add pronouns somewhere handy, is there? Maybe to the little hover tooltip over avatars, or at least an entry in the profile form? Could be nice.

                                  They/Them

                                  PavelP TezT 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 6
                                  • PavelP
                                    Pavel @Ren
                                    last edited by Pavel

                                    @Ren said in Bannings:

                                    There isn’t some sort of nodebb plugin that’d let people add pronouns somewhere handy, is there? Maybe to the little hover tooltip over avatars, or at least an entry in the profile form? Could be nice.

                                    You can put it in your signature. (Because no, there isn’t any that I can find. There were a few, and they haven’t been updated in eons.)

                                    He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
                                    BE AN ADULT

                                    JennkrystJ 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • JennkrystJ
                                      Jennkryst @Pavel
                                      last edited by

                                      @Pavel Gotta add to mine, and everyone should also maybe link to the top of their ‘where to find me/join in my crimes against MUSHdom’ thread, if they have one.

                                      Or don’t I’m not your mom. At least, not yet.

                                      Mummy Pun? MUMMY PUN!
                                      She/her

                                      juniperskyJ 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • juniperskyJ
                                        junipersky Administrators @Jennkryst
                                        last edited by

                                        @Jennkryst

                                        You're not my mom

                                        JennkrystJ 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • JennkrystJ
                                          Jennkryst @junipersky
                                          last edited by

                                          @junipersky I might be

                                          Mummy Pun? MUMMY PUN!
                                          She/her

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • G
                                            GF
                                            last edited by

                                            alt text

                                            AriaA 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 12
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