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    Bannings

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Rough and Rowdy
    1.6k Posts 73 Posters 548.8k Views
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    • R
      RightMeow @tsar
      last edited by

      @tsar

      I posted a LONG post on MSB about this stuff too. I know some of you can’t see that – I just wanted to thank everyone here too.

      I ❤ all of you.

      IoleRaeI 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
      • MegM
        Meg @RightMeow
        last edited by

        @RightMeow I remember one of the times you were talking about, when someone accused you of just pushing for TS in every scene and hounding any available male character. I remember specifically having had a couple of lovely scenes with you at that point, with a male Prince that I had made specifically to be marriage bait, and just going wtf??? over it at the time, because you’d displayed none of that with me.

        So I spoke up. I am glad that you guys got the situation resolved and that everyone was able to clear the air.

        That is to say, I agree that good things come out of these boards. While there are shitty peeves that sometimes should be kept to ourselves (i have fallen into that hole before) and some old arguments and old grudges, I think having this community is important to also put those grudges aside.

        I think when people hold their grudges the longest, it’s because they haven’t been interacting with the people and avoiding them, and not seeing them really as people. This community gives us a way to do that.

        And I am just rambling, but I am glad you’re part of our community, RM.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 9
        • IoleRaeI
          IoleRae @RightMeow
          last edited by

          @RightMeow

          Gonna echo @tsar here. You really aren’t as inconsequential as you appear to think you are. I miss you when you’re not around! Your voice has so much heart in it. We NEED that.

          the entity previously known as Sunny

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • G
            GF
            last edited by

            Hey, you. Yeah, you, the one reading this. No, I don’t know who you are. Doesn’t matter for what I’m about to say, and if you think it does, you are incorrect.

            You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are. Got it? You better, because if I catch you saying otherwise, you will be in trouble.

            Good. Now go on, get outta here. Go conquer the world. You got this.

            IoleRaeI L. B. HeuschkelL 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 12
            • IoleRaeI
              IoleRae @GF
              last edited by

              @GF said in Bannings:

              You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are.

              This is so important.

              the entity previously known as Sunny

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • AriaA
                Aria
                last edited by Aria

                Look, people can talk about how toxic and broken the community is and don’t get me wrong here - there are definitely people that are bad actors, there are behaviors that are problematic, there are persistent attitudes that I wish would just fuck off and die already.

                But… I have had people in the community help me out during a pet emergency. I’ve sent groceries and home furnishings to people in the community. I’ve had people help my husband get a job. I’ve reviewed and rewritten other people’s resumes. A handful of MUers I know are literally the only people who try to use my pronouns correctly and respect my identity, including literally all of my family and almost all of my friends and definitely every single person I work with.

                There is just as much, if not far more, good than there is bad – just like in most every community. And yes, you should point out the bad. You should try to fix it. You should make a space safer and more welcoming.

                But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, if all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…

                I dunno, boo. Maybe the problem is just that you need something to constantly rail against so you can make yourself feel superior?

                T PavelP farfallaF 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 11
                • L. B. HeuschkelL
                  L. B. Heuschkel @GF
                  last edited by

                  @GF said in Bannings:

                  You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are. Got it? You better, because if I catch you saying otherwise, you will be in trouble.

                  I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

                  Any pronouns. Come to Chincoteague. We have ponies. http://keys.aresmush.com

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                  • T
                    Testament @Aria
                    last edited by

                    @Aria said in Bannings:

                    But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, of all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…

                    This was me for a long time. Less about feeling superior but more consistent fixation on it coupled with an undiagnosed clinical depression at the time.

                    While I’m still a pessimist, it’s at least been tempered with reminders that there are reasons to not expect constant disappointment.

                    And it took them a long good while, but @Aria did play a large role in shaking me free of that particular mindset. So they’re absolutely right, there is more good than bad. I just have to be reminded of it.

                    I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021

                    AriaA 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                    • PavelP
                      Pavel @Aria
                      last edited by

                      @Aria said in Bannings:

                      Maybe the problem is just that you need something to constantly rail against so you can make yourself feel superior?

                      that's me

                      He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
                      BE AN ADULT

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                      • AriaA
                        Aria @Testament
                        last edited by

                        @Testament said in Bannings:

                        And it took them a long good while, but @Aria did play a large role in shaking me free of that particular mindset. So they’re absolutely right, there is more good than bad. I just have to be reminded of it.

                        I am terrible at human emotions. Vulnerability is gross and also possibly contagious and that is profoundly concerning because feelings are those unfortunate things that happen to other people.

                        I am, however, happy to yell at people to stop being miserable and sad. Or physically force them into something productive as a distraction. You would be surprised how often this actually works.

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • farfallaF
                          farfalla @Aria
                          last edited by

                          @Aria If you’re comfortable sharing in public, what are your pronouns so I can make sure I’m using the right ones?

                          as previously stated, good day.

                          AriaA 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 8
                          • AriaA
                            Aria @farfalla
                            last edited by

                            @farfalla

                            ❤ ❤

                            I prefer they/them. She/her is also fine. Like, I won’t be mad about it or offended if someone uses that, especially given how complicated my own feelings about gender are and the fact that my body-type adds a lived experience I will always have thrust on me barring major surgery I don’t want, but I do get the warm fuzzies when folks at least try.

                            farfallaF 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 15
                            • farfallaF
                              farfalla @Aria
                              last edited by

                              @Aria Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of us are more than willing to try 🙂

                              as previously stated, good day.

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 11
                              • AriaA
                                Aria
                                last edited by

                                Flutter

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                                • RozR
                                  Roz
                                  last edited by

                                  Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

                                  she/her | playlist

                                  MourneM AriaA 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 20
                                  • MourneM
                                    Mourne @Roz
                                    last edited by Mourne

                                    @Roz said in Bannings:

                                    Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

                                    Cuz that just makes it /better/, they absolutely /know/ that you’re yelling and being angry with /them/ and not just some nebulous pronouns 😉

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
                                    • AriaA
                                      Aria @Roz
                                      last edited by

                                      @Roz said in Bannings:

                                      Even if I want to yell at someone about how they’re being a total shitty asshole, I want to yell at them with the right pronouns.

                                      I laughed way harder at this than I should have.

                                      See, everyone? @Roz has it.

                                      “They’re being a totally shitty asshole.”
                                      “I want to yell at them.”
                                      “Ugh, Aria. They’re the fucking wooooorst.”

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                      • RenR
                                        Ren
                                        last edited by

                                        There isn’t some sort of nodebb plugin that’d let people add pronouns somewhere handy, is there? Maybe to the little hover tooltip over avatars, or at least an entry in the profile form? Could be nice.

                                        They/Them

                                        PavelP TezT 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 6
                                        • PavelP
                                          Pavel @Ren
                                          last edited by Pavel

                                          @Ren said in Bannings:

                                          There isn’t some sort of nodebb plugin that’d let people add pronouns somewhere handy, is there? Maybe to the little hover tooltip over avatars, or at least an entry in the profile form? Could be nice.

                                          You can put it in your signature. (Because no, there isn’t any that I can find. There were a few, and they haven’t been updated in eons.)

                                          He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
                                          BE AN ADULT

                                          JennkrystJ 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • JennkrystJ
                                            Jennkryst @Pavel
                                            last edited by

                                            @Pavel Gotta add to mine, and everyone should also maybe link to the top of their ‘where to find me/join in my crimes against MUSHdom’ thread, if they have one.

                                            Or don’t I’m not your mom. At least, not yet.

                                            Mummy Pun? MUMMY PUN!
                                            She/her

                                            juniperskyJ 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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