RL Peeves

eye8urcake

Buying an audiobook of your favorite book and it being narrated by someone so disinterested they just left the stutters and stammers in the final version.

refund

Aria

Dear Neighbors -

I understand that you have tiny humans that need to be entertained to keep them from devolving into shrieking little goblins, but.

BUT.

When you are watching Encanto at such a high volume that I can clearly make out every word of “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” through the walls, at 8:15 in the fucking morning, you have guaranteed that I am going to have that earworm in my brain for literally an entire day.

I will remember your cruelty.

Sincerely,
Aria

Testament

My company renewed their contract with the state health department to keep testing Covid till next spring.

Sigh. Three years. I was really excited that we weren’t going to renew after the current contract expired.

Pyrephox

Speaking of small humans–

I realize that it is hot. I realize that it is summer. I realize that I live in an apartment complex and that means that people are gonna make noise. But I swear to god the kids upstairs are playing hopscotch over my head, and it’s really annoying.

Kestrel

@Pyrephox

They are.

Pyrephox

@Kestrel said in RL Peeves:

@Pyrephox

They are.

That is DELIGHTFUL.

WhiteRaven

This post is deleted!

IoleRae

“Over the hill. Is that forty or fifty?”

“It’s fifty, it has to be fifty, that’s when you get the grey balloons and stuff, right? If it was 40 I would be over the hill.”

(This is an IT meeting, so there was about thirty seconds of silence here.)

“Sunny, I have some bad news for you.” (They used my other nickname tho.)

“…”

“You guys are all babies and I hate you.”

ffffffffffffffffffff

Roz

@IoleRae When my dad turned 40, my older brothers did a big presentation with one of those giant easel sketchbooks. The presentation was called

Things That Are Older Than Dad

It included entries such as the following:

Dirt
The Earth
Dinosaurs
Time
God
Granddad

I really hope my parents still have that sketchbook somewhere.

IoleRae

@Roz

That is amazing.

GF

@IoleRae said in RL Peeves:

“Over the hill. Is that forty or fifty?”

It’s not measured in years. It’s measured by when you get your first chronic injury in your knee or lower back.

Testament

@GF Shit, I’ve been over the hill since I was 27, then.

GF

@Testament Nurse, or athlete?

Testament

@GF Neither. Soldier.

GF

@Testament Yep, that’ll do it.

IoleRae

@GF

hip count?

Testament

@GF To be fair, in my case it was feet, but the other two followed not too long after despite that.

ETA: And I still work on my feet most days. “Unable to serve due to disqualifying conditions” my ass.

Pavel

@GF said in RL Peeves:

@IoleRae said in RL Peeves:

“Over the hill. Is that forty or fifty?”

It’s not measured in years. It’s measured by when you get your first chronic injury in your knee or lower back.

Well, that sure explains my entire personality. I’ve been a Grumpy Old Man since I was twelve, by this measure.

Tez

@Roz said in RL Peeves:

@IoleRae When my dad turned 40, my older brothers did a big presentation with one of those giant easel sketchbooks. The presentation was called

Things That Are Older Than Dad

It included entries such as the following:

Dirt

The Earth

Dinosaurs

Time

God

Granddad

I really hope my parents still have that sketchbook somewhere.

I have high expectations for my birthday.

Pavel

@Tez said in RL Peeves:

@Roz said in RL Peeves:

@IoleRae When my dad turned 40, my older brothers did a big presentation with one of those giant easel sketchbooks. The presentation was called

Things That Are Older Than Dad

It included entries such as the following:

Dirt

The Earth

Dinosaurs

Time

God

Granddad

I really hope my parents still have that sketchbook somewhere.

I have high expectations for my birthday.

It’ll be a shorter list.