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Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved No Escape from Reality
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  • W
    Wizz @Testament
    last edited by 19 Sept 2022, 14:37

    @Testament said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

    “Family doesn’t give you special privileges, especially if we don’t talk save beyond one holiday a year.”

    Our family has always had a very different dynamic than that, we all live pretty close and go out of our way to see each other at least a couple times a month, which is why it felt extra hurtful.

    It definitely would have been a better and wiser choice to not have any of us that involved either way, but it’s whatever. She’s very young, it was all sort of done in a rush, I can get over it but it just stings for now.

    S 1 Reply Last reply 19 Sept 2022, 16:44 Reply Quote 1
    • S
      Snackness @Wizz
      last edited by 19 Sept 2022, 16:44

      @Wizz I’m sorry, that sounds really stressful.

      My totally unsolicited ‘been a bride’ advice is, if you decide talk to her about it, give it a couple of weeks. Weddings are stressful af, even the good ones.

      W 1 Reply Last reply 19 Sept 2022, 18:29 Reply Quote 1
      • W
        Wizz @Snackness
        last edited by 19 Sept 2022, 18:29

        @Snackness

        I appreciate the advice, and have definitely felt it’s something I should give a little time to sit with before I say anything, if I even do. I am not the type to just immediately storm into a confrontation if something makes me upset anyway, and I can certainly see why it would only harm both of us in this case especially. It was a lovely wedding despite my feels getting hurt, and they deserve the time to come down from the stress of all the preparation and enjoy the honeymoon.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • S
          sao
          last edited by 20 Sept 2022, 01:17

          My 16 1/2 year old cat is gone and I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to be OK.

          let it be a challenge to you

          J T 2 Replies Last reply 20 Sept 2022, 01:39 Reply Quote 17
          • J
            junipersky Administrators @sao
            last edited by 20 Sept 2022, 01:39

            @sao

            It is okay if it takes time. Even if it takes a long time.

            I’m sorry.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
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              Testament @sao
              last edited by 20 Sept 2022, 14:00

              @sao You’re not going to be okay. And that in of itself is okay, everyone is allowed to feel this. It won’t be easy, believe me. Losing my old man cat two years ago tore me apart. And there are days where I still horribly miss him. The first two weeks were the worst. But it does get easier. I don’t know if it’ll ever completely go away, but like so many other things, it becomes something we manage.

              Someone else said it here that I believe is rather fitting. “Grief is just love with nowhere to go.”

              every day gets a little better

              I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • A
                Ashkuri
                last edited by Ashkuri 22 Sept 2022, 14:11

                This post is deleted!
                T S P T 4 Replies Last reply 22 Sept 2022, 14:16 Reply Quote 9
                • T
                  Tez Administrators @Ashkuri
                  last edited by 22 Sept 2022, 14:16

                  @imstillhere Fuck, of course you’re tired. I got sympathy-tired halfway through reading and it just got MORE from there. I hope things calm down for you.

                  she/they

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                  • S
                    Snackness @Ashkuri
                    last edited by 22 Sept 2022, 14:47

                    @imstillhere I’m so sorry. We’re all here for you.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                    • P
                      Pavel @Ashkuri
                      last edited by Pavel 22 Sept 2022, 15:14

                      @imstillhere Given I don’t know where you are I can’t adequately advise on resources to help.

                      However, find your local university and see if they offer a psychology or counselling program. If they do, then they very likely have a supervised student counselling clinic - much the same as a regular counsellor though usually far cheaper.

                      ETA: When you’ve reached the “solve a problem or make a change” part of grief and stress, of course.

                      He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
                      BE AN ADULT

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • T
                        Testament @Ashkuri
                        last edited by 22 Sept 2022, 16:00

                        @imstillhere You already know what I’m gonna say, because I’ve talked to about a lot of this already.

                        But you got my Discord. Any time you need to talk again, even if it’s just to get something off your chest. I know it’s not a lot I can give, but whatever you need, I’m here.

                        I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021

                        A 1 Reply Last reply 17 Dec 2022, 22:08 Reply Quote 1
                        • A
                          Arkandel @Testament
                          last edited by 17 Dec 2022, 22:08

                          My cat is… gone.

                          He had surgery yesterday, and it was successful. He came home with an appetite and kind of stoned.

                          This morning he was at the kitchen mewing at me to give him his wet food. I let the dogs out into the back yard (as I do every morning, this is absolute routine), let them in, had breakfast. I went to the gym and came back.

                          And he’s nowhere to be found. Nowhere in the house - and we’ve looked everywhere. No coming out for food, not responding to calls. Nowhere in the fenced back yard, or any of the neighbors’ (whose doors I went and knocked on, and let them know, just in case he somehow made it there). He’s just… not in the house, and I don’t know where he could be.

                          I don’t remember what happened because it’s so routine to let the dogs out, feed the cats, eat and get out of the house. I do it every single morning. Did I leave the door open and he snuck out? He’s not a runner at all but did I, did he? Did he have a stroke following the surgery and he’s dead in a closet somewhere to be found days from now?

                          Goddammit Gus. I’ve made flyers and filed a report, he’s microchipped, I spoke to the neighbors but not knowing is… it’d be easier if I knew he was hurt. And thinking he’s outside hiding somewhere perhaps a couple of yards away freezing…

                          T N 2 Replies Last reply 17 Dec 2022, 22:19 Reply Quote 2
                          • T
                            tsar @Arkandel
                            last edited by 17 Dec 2022, 22:19

                            @Arkandel Ah fuck, I’m so sorry.

                            A 1 Reply Last reply 17 Dec 2022, 22:50 Reply Quote 1
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                              Arkandel @tsar
                              last edited by 17 Dec 2022, 22:50

                              @tsar … He was in a fucking dresser drawer.

                              The whole fucking day. While I was outside freezing my ass off looking for him, and stressing the fuck out.

                              Motherfucker.

                              S R T N P 8 Replies Last reply 17 Dec 2022, 22:52 Reply Quote 21
                              • S
                                Snackness @Arkandel
                                last edited by 17 Dec 2022, 22:52

                                @Arkandel I’m so happy to hear that! Man, cats are assholes aren’t they.

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                • R
                                  Roz @Arkandel
                                  last edited by 17 Dec 2022, 22:59

                                  @Arkandel said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

                                  @tsar … He was in a fucking dresser drawer.

                                  The whole fucking day. While I was outside freezing my ass off looking for him, and stressing the fuck out.

                                  Motherfucker.

                                  omfg. cATS.

                                  she/her | playlist

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                  • T
                                    tsar @Arkandel
                                    last edited by 17 Dec 2022, 23:05

                                    @Arkandel said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

                                    @tsar … He was in a fucking dresser drawer.

                                    The whole fucking day. While I was outside freezing my ass off looking for him, and stressing the fuck out.

                                    Motherfucker.

                                    oh my god, fucking cats, why are they like this???

                                    I’m so glad you found him. ❤ ❤

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
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                                      Nynrose @Arkandel
                                      last edited by Nynrose 18 Dec 2022, 00:02

                                      This post is deleted!
                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • N
                                        Nynrose @Arkandel
                                        last edited by 18 Dec 2022, 00:04

                                        @Arkandel I am glad you fond your cat ❤

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • P
                                          Pyrephox Administrators @Arkandel
                                          last edited by 18 Dec 2022, 01:15

                                          @Arkandel OMG, I’m so glad this update was here. I’m so glad he’s home and a giant fuzzy jerk.

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
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