Don’t forget we moved!
https://brandmu.day/
MU Peeves Thread
-
@Sammich I’m so sorry! I’ve been there. It’s sad and can make you feel bad about not keeping touch. Which you shouldn’t but it can anyhow.
-
@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
I just wanna play the theme, man.
Like, most of the themes are at least a little slutty though. Especially when we’re talking white wolf. Every type has at least one splat that’s like ‘and these are the hot slutty ones’. Even Star Wars did it! Entire race of awesome, hot, slutty aliens. Multiple races even but like, the Zeltrons are pretty implicitly so.
Also like…if you tell me I’m not supposed to spend my time making massive zombie armies of doom to take over the city and stop me from planning my downward spiral to becoming the Tremere Lich I’ve always wanted to be, I’m going to get bored. Things happen.
I’m not entirely sure how the two things you mentioned go together; no one’s telling you not to make zombie armies…? That’s not even remotely slutty. Unless they are slutty zombies. And then again, you do you (or him or her or whoever!) but keep it contained to the people who consent?
-
I came for the MU drama and stayed for the slutty zombie armies
-
I play a slut with a zombie army and it isn’t even on a wod game
let it be a challenge to you
-
@imstillhere No slutty zombie bear armies?
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
-
so are these like reverse harem zombie situations? or?? what are the dynamics here, expound.
-
@sao I’m just replying because I wanted to type the words ‘ritualistic necro-orgies’.
-
@imstillhere said in MU Peeves Thread:
I came for the MU drama and stayed for the slutty zombie armies
-
@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
@imstillhere No slutty zombie bear armies?
At least if they’re slutty they won’t barnshame my dates
-
@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
I’m not entirely sure how the two things you mentioned go together; no one’s telling you not to make zombie armies…? That’s not even remotely slutty. Unless they are slutty zombies. And then again, you do you (or him or her or whoever!) but keep it contained to the people who consent?
I’m a bit amused how you replied to the joke part of my post and ignored my actual point that many games, themes, and settings do touch on sexuality. I get what you’re saying, time and place, blah blah, but you can’t just say ‘but muh theme’ as an overall objection, at least in my opinion.
I’ve spent time over the years thinking about my position on these things, which has for sure changed over time. It’s a complicated topic honestly. Women get slut shamed, even by other women. If there’s someone you want to RP with but he’s always hanging out with some chick, it tends to get framed as for sure TS with the woman being on the ‘doing wrong’ side of it.
Women are the ones stated as ‘causing drama’ when love triangles go wrong. Dudes who are creeps get written off and eye rolled, despite being legitimately RL dangerous. (I honest to god have stories and I’m sure others do as well)
Even in the example with the submissive guild mate, it wasn’t the man (who is clearly complicit) that was framed as being objectionable, it was the woman’s words and actions. That situation would have made me uncomfortable too, but since it was her actions, she gets the focus, despite it clearly being to his benefit as well.
As pro kink as I am, do I love people being roped into other peoples public displays of whatever? No. But I’m honestly not going to be outspoken about it like I once was — in a broadly speaking fashion.
With the whole groomer narrative RL about stuff like the dumb leather harness from Balenciaga, despite it being on several runways for spring and a thing in fashion long enough that there are fast fashion versions, I don’t trust people to know actual kink if it bent them over, spanked their ass and told them to say step on me mommy. I’m absolutely sick to death of hearing about sexuality being ‘rubbed in peoples faces’ over any slight show of gay affection.
There’s a redic thread of purity culture in MU* and I’ve been part of it, despite also being an unrepentant turbo slut. Someone in this thread (I think) actually managed to state that they don’t participate in TS in what I felt was straight up a non-judgy way, which is exceedingly rare. Aro/ace exists and that too is part of human sexuality and is a cool thing to explore. That’s kind of the point with sexual themes within themes. Sex is part of the human condition and seeing how your inhuman or sorta but not or magical human relates to it and your character themselves deals with things is another facet to play out.
You don’t like it? Ok. Can people’s behavior be annoying or gross? Yes. Can it ruin your scene? Absolutely. Does that suck? Yes. But let’s not pretend there isn’t a theme out there that doesn’t relate to sexuality in some way. Even a historical puritan game would relate to themes of sexuality. Frankly it might even hinge on it more than many other themes.
We should look more at how the attitudes around TS are actually pretty harmful to women and other marginalized groups, how we talk about things publicly versus privately, why shame has to be involved in any of it, and empower people to be able to set healthy boundaries by open discussion rather than setting a standard of purity being better.
Additionally, loud and clear boundary setting should be the gold standard. I’d rather hear a complaint of ‘these people were doing this and several of us stated that we didn’t feel comfortable with the scene and they continued to ignore our boundaries’ rather than ‘I wish people wouldn’t do this because ew’. Is there a difference? Absolutely. One scenario expects others to recognize that people are making you uncomfortable. The other gives them the option to either respect your feelings without any guessing games. It shows other players healthy boundary setting and communication.
I wrote this on my phone. I have no idea how long it is. I’d like to give a special thanks to the Adderall shortages for the rambling nature. I’m not proof reading this. It is what it is.
Understandable, have a nice day.
-
@Solstice This gif is magical and I love your brain for picking it.
-
@Luna said in MU Peeves Thread:
As pro kink as I am, do I love people being roped into other peoples public displays of whatever? No. But I’m honestly not going to be outspoken about it like I once was. Just leave. If you remove the audience, you remove what they’re after. Only you can set your boundaries and you’re in charge of them. (Unless it’s your work place RL then everyone can fuck right off because no one wants to be there in the first place, don’t make shit weird).
Nah, if you start tossing your kinks in my face in a public scene I’m going to object. There are places for that, it’s not most MUs.
-
@Luna There’s a pretty big difference between themes that touch on sexuality and navigating the often times extremely weird sexual culture of a MUSH. No one has said here that people need to stop TSing or that themes/settings can’t touch on sexuality - it’s when the culture of your MUSH becomes unnecessarily toxic because of sex that it becomes problematic.
And I’m sorry, but unless your game is a Rated XXX sex game, don’t rub your bits on other people in public and then tell other people if they don’t like it they can leave the scene? Like lol, that in and of itself is weird sexual culture because why should I be on edge wondering who’s going to wave their virtual dick in my face when I’m on the public grid? Jeeze.
-
My gaming culture preference is like… read the room. But that’s the same issue for wild public sex behaviors as for other completely boneheaded RP choices, tbh.
let it be a challenge to you
-
@sao said in MU Peeves Thread:
My gaming culture preference is like… read the room. But that’s the same issue for wild public sex behaviors as for other completely boneheaded RP choices, tbh.
SAME.
But I mean TBF I don’t think the definition of weird sex culture is like, boning in public or whatever. It’s more like … on several non-consent WoD games I used to play, where I was told that as a mortal I shouldn’t go out in public alone because I’d get SA’d and/or murdered by a vampire/werewolf/whatever because WoD is so DARK AND GRITTY and it’s just acceptable culturally to do that sort of thing. That’s a pretty extreme example but goes with what I’m saying here.
-
@bear_necessities yikes. I know the world is dark and gritty, but yikes. THAT WOULD INDEED be the kind of game culture where I would just leave.
let it be a challenge to you
-
@sao said in MU Peeves Thread:
@bear_necessities yikes. I know the world is dark and gritty, but yikes. THAT WOULD INDEED be the kind of game culture where I would just leave.
It sadly took me awhile to find out that wasn’t normal game culture especially when I was playing Firan at the same time and having my child commoner repeatedly told by her UNCLE that he couldn’t wait until she became ‘of age’ so he could get his noble priviledge on …
But that was years ago at least. Now weird sexual culture is less rapey and more figuring out how to navigate who is safe to TS with and who isn’t.
-
While we still have a long way to go, and there is still a lot problematic, I do notice that predatory female-presenting players are being called out more often, and more and more people are kind of stiff arming the dude who tries to harem build by telling everyone how they’re his favorite and it’s the other women’s fault that he doesn’t RP with her as much like he really wants to. I think this is because we’re all getting old, but also I notice in my own young adult kids that honestly they’re just a lot better about consent and not tolerating SOME of the crap I know women of my generation have been steeped in to expect. It’s hard to shake free of. But I do so more effort being made of that than I did in the 90s.
Also, I think one of the things that people overlook a lot is that women have ALWAYS been /essential/ in subjugating other women and enforcing purity culture. I grew up in a very culty religious sect and even there it is plain as day to me now. It’s a little like how people who feel like they have to fight the hardest for recognition/legitimacy/a place at the table tend to always tear each other up first. Or something like that. You saw it all the time when I first got into mushing. The female presenting bogeymen of the mush world tend to utilize that too. But. I do think we have less tolerance for abuse now than we once did. More willingness to give people the boot. I think perhaps we still aren’t acting quickly enough against female-presenting people, but that doesn’t mean that we should slow down how we react to others.
I think I have a much higher tolerance for “darker” themes than the majority of my friends do. But utter incompetence at discernment always irritates me. Whether that is someone who will not fucking shut up with the ooc diarrhea of the text when everyone else is not doing that and listening to the ST’s request to keep that to channels, to cutesy Spank Me Daddy/Mommy tabletalk at a public formal event. It’s not entirely fair because some people just don’t have the skills to read the room, but that’s also why most games have policies on types of play permitted in public or STs give freaking instructions at the beginning of the scene!
I could not care less if someone only likes to rp being led around on a leash with a ball gag in their mouth or whatever. I think that’s great and if they find someone who loves to RP leading someone gagged and collared around on a leash then that makes my heart happy. I’m not being sarcastic. If they’re on a game and in a place that is labeled a NSFW zone and is named “Play Park for People Who Don’t Want To Have to Run To Go Get Their Ball”, I mean if I go in there and then whine about seeing some tits and ass and people on or off leashes then I’m a major asshole. If I harass them, then I should be kicked to the curb by staff.
But by the same token, if I’m on a game that allows certain triggery elements in backstory but requires proactive consent from EVERYONE in the scene before any of that is mentioned or says all public places need to be free of references to abuse, ect and I violate that then I should be kicked to the curb too.
Regardless of my thoughts about sex being healthy and good and not shameful, if I play on a place that asks that no sexual RP happens in a public space, then I should utilize discretion and just…keep it to private. (and apologize for any mavs).
Having rules isn’t necessarily shaming, and if you’re choosing to play on a place that has 'em, I mean don’t read or pay attention to shit if that’s your bag, but also don’t whine and stomp if you get the boot or a talking to. Or fuss. Just take it as an oops, and then make your own decision to either stay and follow the policy or go play on a game where people aren’t paying attention as much or where they welcome it.
It should be that easy. I don’t know why it isn’t for a few, but I’m glad that more and more games are not giving them a bazillion chances.
-
Personally, I will almost always find public TS/LOOK AT ME I NAUGHTY stuff unintentionally hilarious. Yes, I have a very juvenile sense of humor. I LOVE fart pranks too and will never get tired of watching them on Youtube. I have had horribad TS writing competitions with friends. (usually I win, too 'cause I’m gifted like that). If you are the lucky recipient/writer of an outrageous sex pose and you are going to pop if you don’t share it with someone else, hmu, i will never say no no matter what it is.
But. Have some respect for the rules and culture of the game. If you’re on a game that highlights sexuality, don’t be a Karen and complain about footsie going on at the footsie bar. If you’re on a game that requires that stuff be private, don’t hump the arm of the king’s throne in the middle of court. If it’s in a gray area, I tend to ask someone if they mind stopping doing something that’s causing me distress, but if I read more that I’m in the minority then I’ll try to extricate. If I’m not able to be out and about in public without running into a lot of annoyances, I reevaluate whether the game is for me, just because if they have rules that I like/need that aren’t enforced then I need to be realistic about that.
-
Game expectations should be transparent and known.
Players shouldn’t be dicks.
