"My Guy Syndrome"
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@howyadoin I don’t think this works for the context @Yam mentioned, though, which is why I wanted to have the discussion in a purely MUSH context.
I think in MUSH we see a lot of things like:
- I’m not leaving the spaceship to go walk on the planet we’re visiting, my guy wouldn’t think it’s safe.
- Sorry for making this social scene awkward with both of us here, but my guy wouldn’t forgive their grudge against your guy.
- I won’t RP where you suggested. My guy wouldn’t go to that side of town.
- Sorry for disrupting this town meeting, but it’s what my guy would do.
- My guy already knows that information so I’m not interested in RPing passing it on to others.
- I wish I could RP but my guy wouldn’t go out in this weather.
- I can’t help you. My guy wouldn’t find that interesting.
- Sorry I hurt your feelings with the way I acted IC. It’s what my guy would do.
etc etc etc
Many of the times we run into this, there might not even be a GM involved to say “are you sure” and the actions they’re doing aren’t inherently absurd. The My-Guyer’s actions might even be sensible. Sure, that planet we’re visiting does look dangerous.
As a GM you can definitely say “fine, stay with the ship then, guess you aren’t playing in this event” and as a player you can say things like “well you pick somewhere to RP then,” but the bad vibes are already there at that point. Other people are uncomfortable. Most players don’t want to leave the My-Guy person out. Most My-Guy’ers know that.
My-Guy people disrupt a feeling of collaboration and buy-in that is pretty fundamental to the improv we depend on in this medium. That’s what the top guy in the link is talking about: he got his way, the other players agreed, it was all very “in-character,” and it still felt bad.
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@Ashkuri said in "My Guy Syndrome":
I think in MUSH we see a lot of things like:
But a lot of those things aren’t inherently bad. If your character wouldn’t think the planet is safe, and it’s really important to you to honor that, I don’t think it’s a cardinal sin to politely sit a scene out. Same for RPing out an IC grudge, or some of the other things you listed.
“My guy syndrome”, for me, is all about attitude.
“Hey, want to RP at the spaceport?”
“Nah, my guy wouldn’t go do that part of town.” vs “Well, my guy has a thing against spaceports, but I’d be happy to RP with you at the marketplace.”“We’re going down to the planet for the plot.”
“I’m not leaving - my guy wouldn’t think it’s safe.” vs. “Have fun! I’m going to sit this one out because my guy wouldn’t want to go down there.”There’s nothing wrong with being true to your character, as long as you’re not a jerk about it OOCly.
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I REALLY struggled not to my guy a lot. Two of my heart characters were older men (late 40s, 50s) who were generally conservative af and not generally open to new anything. To a lot of things my first thought was literally " X would NEVER…" Then I had to sit myself down and go, “But is the never fun for anyone?” Sometimes it was, but most of the time it wasn’t. Sometimes the conflict of new ideas vs old ideas was great. I had some excellent scenes with their children where they wanted to be wild and out there with a father behind them going “This isn’t right!!!” Other times that conflict was going to kill the vibe.
Over time both mellowed a lot. I would like to think they didn’t lose their core conservative root, but they saw a ton more gray when I stepped away. That was fun too.
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@Ashkuri said in "My Guy Syndrome":
- Sorry for disrupting this town meeting, but it’s what my guy would do.
help im crashing out again
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I think as a medium we tend to err by not reinforcing enough the expectations around roleplay. It is natural to not want to tell people how they should play their characters, but if the expectation is that people should be fun to RP with and not miserable, and you can kind of tell what RP sucks and what doesn’t, I think we do more harm than good by not explicitly saying so.
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@Faraday said in "My Guy Syndrome":
But a lot of those things aren’t inherently bad. If your character wouldn’t think the planet is safe, and it’s really important to you to honor that, I don’t think it’s a cardinal sin to politely sit a scene out. Same for RPing out an IC grudge, or some of the other things you listed.
And sometimes this goes all the way around to what @Muscle-Car described as weaponizing my-guyness. “Hey, I’m sorry I blew up your character’s car that she got from her grandfather and rebuilt with her own hands, that’s just what my guy would do. Wait, why are you being such a My-Guy jerk and holding a grudge about it? Why can’t we just go back to being friends? You’re not being a very good collaborative roleplayer.”
Acting and reacting in-character isn’t binary, and, like a lot of things, it’s good up to a point and bad when taken too far. Of course, not everyone agrees on what constitutes “too far,” and that’s kind of the root of the problem. Some things are almost always not OK (the thief who murders everybody else in the party and steals all the loot because “that’s what my character would do” – but even this might be fine if the expectations are set appropriately). Some things are almost always OK (holding a grudge against whoever murdered your character’s best friend – but this can still be taken too far and become not-OK). Lots and lots and lots of things fall into a gray area where some people think they’re fine and other people think they’re not.
Communication helps, but even then you sometimes run into disagreements between players. What to one person feels like raising a reasonable concern over what someone else’s character might be contemplating, might from the other side feel like inadequate player-character separation (“gosh, she’s getting really upset over something that’s happening to her character”).
There’re just an awful lot of ways to misunderstand what’s going on in someone else’s head, and many (most?) of us aren’t really that good at putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. I don’t think there is a single solution here other than to try to listen to what people are saying even when they aren’t saying it out loud, and that’s a really hard skill to learn.
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Just in general, MUSH RP is a “yes, and” medium. Players would do well to remember that. There are always, always ways to work around “my guy would/wouldn’t do that” scenarios if players would just put a modicum of thought into it. Why the hell would anyone want to or continue to RP with players who are always throwing up roadblocks to RP, or finding ways to make it unpleasant for other players? It’s a collaborative environment. So collaborate.
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@chorus This. Yes, there is some level of ‘staying true to your character’, but acting like your character is an actual existing person vs…ya know…a character you created and are in control of the actions of…always baffled me.
There is a difference between “I don’t know that my char would be much use in this scene” or “My char just had a bad run in in that location so would avoid it” followed with “but thank you for thanking of me!” and being totally unwilling to find compromise or being offended you’re left out as a result of the limits you set.
It’s reminiscent for me of characters who always start a scene sitting off to the side or doing a task that obviously distracts them from the events around them in a group or even a one on one scene. Then, don’t get involved until a character specifically approaches ic to get their attention.
Like, yes I’m willing to work with you in a scene and contribute my share. I’m not begging you ooc or ic to hang out with me/my char. That’s not fun. I deserve to feel just as prioritized in the rp as who I’m rping with.
On a bright side now I have the “What is up, My Guy?” soundclip in my head! XD
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I agree with both @Ashkuri’s list of problems, and @Faraday’s perspective that they aren’t always problems. I think that @chorus and @SockMonkey have an important point to bridge that attitude gap that Faraday mentioned: sure, there are some things that your character wouldn’t normally do… but we don’t play this game to play “normally” do we? I often like to think, “No, normally my character wouldn’t be caught dead in that biker bar where the RP is happening, so why is my character there?”
Formerly known as Seraphim73 (he/him)
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There’s nothing inherently wrong about playing your character the way you wrote your character. It’s when you use the “My Guy” excuse to be a dick or a roadblock to other people that it becomes an issue.
That being said your characters “don’t just write themselves” and I do think you have to be consciously aware if your decisions would make for good RP. Likewise I think we have to do a better job as a community of just saying no sometimes. If you’re a game runner and you’ve made your spaceship game and want all the characters on the spaceship game to leave the spaceship and explore, it’s OK to say no to the character that’s being chargen’d to avoid exploring.
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@Roadspike Exactly. Sometimes the ‘why IS my char here?’ makes the best memories. It’s fun and a chance to step outside their comfort zone with no rl consequences.
We don’t have to play normally at all or stick with certain ‘would and would nots’ because it’s ic. OOC sure don’t disrespect a boundary and don’t let people push you past a comfort zone (in MUSH, friendships, life, etc.) It’s MUSH though. By pushing my char’s comfort zones I’ve actually ended up growing my own confidence irl and used fiction to help encourage ooc growth.
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@bear_necessities It’s also ok to remove yourself from a situation if your no isn’t respected. Whether that’s the person dealing with the My Guy or the My Guy themselves. If it doesn’t bring you joy? Marie Kondo it. I don’t know, but life is too short.
While it’s not our job to point out what seems to be obvious negative traits in rp, I also will say sometimes all it does take is one person being willing to not complain behind the scene and instead go “Hey…I’ve noticed this trend. I think you might get more positive results and interaction if you try meeting people halfway.”
They might be ‘My Guy’ but that doesn’t mean they are ‘My Guy’…or something >.>
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@Roadspike said in "My Guy Syndrome":
I often like to think, “No, normally my character wouldn’t be caught dead in that biker bar where the RP is happening, so why is my character there?”
I’m going to push back a little here. I generally am the kind of person who will always come up with a reason why my character is in XYZ place even if they don’t “belong”, but I also do my very best to know my place and try and decide if my presence in that scene is going to add to it. So if in your example the RP is happening in the biker bar, and the RP is happening because a gang of bikers is having a scene for their faction, and you are not in the faction, does your character add value to the scene? I have seen so many faction events have some random person inserted into it and they suddenly become the Main Character of all the events even though they don’t belong in the faction and have many other factions they can be part of. It’s frustrating as person IN that faction that gets sidelined.
So just … I guess, it’s okay to join the biker scene even if you aren’t a biker, but maybe just ask yourself if you add value by being there.
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@chorus said in "My Guy Syndrome":
Just in general, MUSH RP is a “yes, and” medium.
It’s totally fine if a game sets that as an expectation, but that has NOT been my experience with MUSH RP in general. And as a staffer, I’ve seen entirely too many nonsensical, theme-breaking, logic-breaking requests for me to ever approach a game that way.
Collaboration doesn’t mean always saying “yes” to everything. It means trying your best to find a mutually-fun solution, but also recognizing that sometimes people want opposite things and someone’s not going to get their idea of fun.
@Roadspike said in "My Guy Syndrome":
I often like to think, “No, normally my character wouldn’t be caught dead in that biker bar where the RP is happening, so why is my character there?”
Yeah, that can be fun - but I still think there’s nothing wrong with politely bowing out of a scene where your character just doesn’t fit.
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MUs are improvisational writing. “Yes, and” is a commonly cited improv principle, and people sometimes fail to remember “No, but” is its equally important partner. The important thing is to find a way to proceed that is interesting and fun for the other people participating and yourself.
