RL Peeves
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@eye8urcake said in RL Peeves:
Fuck Charles.
Just posting to second and bold this.
Somehow I missed this the first go around, so I’ll say it now: This isn’t the place for that. “This place” being the entire board/forum.
This has been an Admin post.
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@Pavel It was oblique enough for me to feel perfectly comfortable in saying IDGAF about your admin post.
Have a good day.
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@Testament said in RL Peeves:
@GF There’s a variant among Midwesterners.
“Yeah, no.”
and
“No, yeah.”
It’s exactly as maddening as you imagine it to be.
Australians do that too, weirdly.
Weird that midwesterners and Australians both do it, that is.
We also do this in Philly, but the trick is the emphasis and length of the response.
“No, yeah” = “No-yeah” = Yes.
“Yeah, no” = “Yeeeeah, no” = No, and also you should maybe fuck off with that dumb suggestion.
“Yeah, no” = “Yeah (^upward inflection), no (hardstop).” = Absolutely not and do not ask me again.
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@Testament said in RL Peeves:
@GF There’s a variant among Midwesterners.
“Yeah, no.”
and
“No, yeah.”
I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and my best analysis for now is, both are intended to ease the listener into a more receptive state of mind. In my experience, “Yeah, no” is usually offered almost apologetically, as if trying to soften the “no” with the preceding “yeah.” “No, yeah” is something I most often here from people who speak like they think I’ll be surprised they agree with me and they’re trying to let me know not to be surprised. Does that sound accurate-ish to your experience?
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Does that sound accurate-ish to your experience?
Sometimes, but I have just as often seen it used in a sarcastic sense.
“Hey you should try (this disgusting food).”
“Yeaaah… no”There’s actually been some linguistic study of the phenomenon. It’s really just context-dependent. Based on usage, tone, body language, etc. There’s no hard and fast rule.
More amusingly, it came up in the Holderness Family’s funny Midwest vs South Rap Battle.
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@GF When I say it, the ‘yeah’ in a yeah-no is sort of a stand-in for ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ so no…not intended as apologetic
YMMV though. -
There is a huge difference between the yeah being stretched out than when it is immediately after the yeah.
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@junipersky It doesn’t have to be stretched out to be sarcastic though.
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Okay, so, I feel like an asshole right now and I’m super embarrassed to post this so I’m going to do it quick and dirty.
I was just plain rude and shitty to @Pavel in a dumb post about a dumb thing I don’t even really have feelings or investment in yesterday. One of the things I’ve been trying to learn to do over the past year is recognize when I’m just in a cunty mood so I can withdraw from people and communities I actually care about how I am perceived in, of which this is one of few for me, and… I didn’t do that.
At all.
I followed this group to this place from that other place specifically because of certain people choosing to be here, to share and contribute their thoughts and feelings and opinions and suggestions, and @Pavel is actually one of them so I would like to apologize for randomly, unfairly, and just grossly being nasty for literally zero reason.
I’d also like to thank them, and some of you others, who even bothered to put this place together despite the fact that moderators tend to take an unfair and unwarranted amount of shit from people because I do care about this place and I do not want to be one of those people who makes those volunteering their likely scant free time away from work and family and school and who all knows what else to even do such a thankless, shitty job as moderating.
I understand this is/was probably a bigger ‘issue’ to me than to @Pavel or anybody else, but I’m really fucking good at reflexively lashing out and really fucking bad about owning it as soon as I realize I’ve done it, so… here. This post.
My RL peeve is, as usual and far too often, my own fucking self. My sincere apologies and I will not do it again.
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@eye8urcake said in RL Peeves:
such a thankless, shitty job as moderating
First, apology accepted obviously. We all have those moments.
Second, I got to tell a racist to go fuck himself today, this job is easy except for when it’s incredible.
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Wish I could crosspost this to RL Loves or whatever our thread for that is called here, but I’m more comfortable in the pissy zone so I’ll settle for putting it here.
Sitting right here, right now, with the biomom I thought had offed herself about 30 years ago’s fucking FACEBOOK page open on my PC and trying to balls up to drop her a message since my adult children are curious about her.
Not sure if my peeve is lack of nerve or lack of alcohol, to be honest.
ETA: I finally pulled the trigger. Now I’m just agonizing that she won’t answer at all, even just to tell me to GFM.
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Cringe.
Nothing is cringe if everything is cringe, this has lost all meaning and I hate it.
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@eye8urcake i reunited in 2020 by surprise when my bio dad (who had no clue as to my existence got a Ancestry DNA kit for his birthday from his wife, and we were matched as parent and child. Luckily his wife is an adoptee and bought the kit because she was doing one too to try to find some of her bio family).
It’s been a very bumpy road, not bc of anything bad but just…processing. He was able to give me info for bio mom and reaching out to her was very difficult.
I’m still processing and all of us are doing so very differently.
So anyway. I found that I was surprised by a lot of my reactions and need for space even though I thought I was prepared for them. I’m very glad this happened as an adult rather than in my 20s when I so longed for it. On the whole it has been positive but I would say just please be gentle with yourself, give yourself space for shifting emotions/feelings, you’re not weird for whatever you feel or don’t. And I hope that you don’t have to wait too long for a response.
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I’m very glad this happened as an adult rather than in my 20s when I so longed for it.
This is a big stressor personally with my kiddo. His bio mom’s not dead, or homeless, or missing, she just ghosted us after I took custody. But he fantasizes about reuniting with her all the time, and as weird as it sounds I really really hope that it doesn’t happen until he’s much older.
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@mietze She’s not going to respond, which… whatever. She dumped me decades ago, I basically even tried because a) wow, I thought she’d offed herself with a speedball forever ago and b) my adult children with children of their own were curious plus wanted medical information if possible for various reasons.
I’m really glad it’s gone well for you with your bio dad, though. Those stories turning out well actually do a bit to warm my cold, dark heart and you seem to carry more than your fair load of heavy shit to begin with so I’m extra happy that situation turned out well specifically for you.
At this point, I wouldn’t piss on any of my… (six? eight? I lost count…) parents/step-parents to put them out if they were on fire.
Beat with a shovel, maybe. Piss, nope.
I’m very glad this happened as an adult rather than in my 20s when I so longed for it.
This is a big stressor personally with my kiddo. His bio mom’s not dead, or homeless, or missing, she just ghosted us after I took custody. But he fantasizes about reuniting with her all the time, and as weird as it sounds I really really hope that it doesn’t happen until he’s much older.
Mine bailed on us when I was like three and my dad was still a practicing alcoholic biker and I remember going up to every short, bespectacled woman with long, dark hair that I saw in a store or at a gas station or at street drags with my whole, “Are you my mother?” spiel.
The stories of me finding her again, first as a homeless 14 year-old then again at 19 are even more pathetic than that, so I’ll just leave those out but I’m definitely on your side with the whole ‘later is better’ philosophy on this in regards to your own youngster.
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