Don’t forget we moved!
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Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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@Rathenhope I want to offer my condolences as well, having been in a similar situation more than once. I still miss Einstein, because he was an affectionate cuddlebug of a stinkpot (including the litterbox), but also a very intelligent cat. Watching him get sick was… depressing. When I got the news he had finally passed on, it was a sad day and even all these years later I still think on him and miss him being around. I don’t remember exactly how old he was, but I think he was at least 13 years old as well, so he lived quite a while.
You’re going to miss her; that’s understandable, and unavoidable, but the point of me saying so is to try not to fight that feeling. The pain of loss can only come from having love for the departed. Bolster the love and minimize the loss with the memories you have of her, and let yourself enjoy the fact that you got to have thirteen years of her company. Time will help with overcoming the loss, but it can never take away the love.
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Husband was in the hospital with COVID-related issues most of this week. He nearly died. I couldn’t be with him, so I took myself to the state fair.
I am proud that I refrained from punching a dude there with an “unvaccinated, unmuzzled, unafraid” shirt.
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@Rathenhope said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
My cat passed suddenly last night with no warning. She was fine, and then she wasn’t, and even though we got her into the car as quickly as we could she didn’t make it to the vet.
We’ve had her for 13 years, and I really wasn’t ready to lose her. I thought we had a good few years left with her. My only consolation is that had it been 10 minutes later we’d have been out at the shops and she’d have been alone, but as it was we were able to tell her everything was gonna be okay.
I’m in fucking pieces. I keep listening for her and being careful where I put my feet and every time it catches me out just how much it hurts. I know that this too shall pass but right now it doesn’t feel like it.
I know this pain too well.
We lost one of our cats in January to pancreatic cancer, which normally only has about a three week survival rate after diagnosis. The thing is, we took him to an oncologist. He was getting special treatment. We were supposed to be buying him a few months more of good time…
So when I woke up one morning almost exactly three weeks after diagnosis and he was Very Suddenly Not Okay, neither were we. The only blessing was that this happened on a day insomniac and I were both home, so we were there and had the chance to take him to the kitty ER. We got to hold him while we said goodbye and thank him for choosing us when so many people thought he was just the coolest cat ever. (Our vet techs legit would argue over who got to treat him post-surgery one time, because most kitty surgical patients were not chill with wound care. He apparently just purred and snuggled through every ice pack and bandage change.)
It’s been eight months and I am still getting choked up writing this. Sometimes I still look for him in the house. Sometimes I find a pair of my husband’s socks on the floor and think I’ve been left a cat present, and then I start crying over a dirty sock like a complete weirdo.
My point in telling you this isn’t to drag you further down, but to let you know that you are absolutely not alone in the feelings you’re having right now. And will probably continue to have in fits and starts for however long your heart decides is right. And that’s okay. Grief is hard and weird and hits you at unexpected moments. It’s that badly attributed quote - “grief is just love with nowhere to go”.
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@shit-piss-love said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
Growing up in the 80s/90s with ADHD was hell.
https://unrollthread.com/t/1534592771792572418/
edit: i doubt it’s much better now
As the mom of two ADHD kiddos, I can assuredly say that for many of them it is not
I mean yeah it might be bettER somewhat due to awareness, like @mietze said, but too often awareness deosn’t translate to action or understanding.
ETA: IDK why my scrolling made me think this post was new and not a month old, but oh well.
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My brother in law loves Great Danes. Nothing wrong with that! They are lovely dogs. Big goofballs, so much fun.
But they are huge, and huge dogs don’t live too long. His was a puppy when my little mut was one; she’s barely past puberty and he has gray hairs on his muzzle.
I’m at the point in my life I just won’t adopt a larger breed at all if I can help it. Having your heart broken is inevitable but - and I know how terrible it is to express pain in numbers - going through that every 18 years is better than every 6.
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Before my current two, I lost my last two 13 years ago. It’s still upsetting to remember.
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I have two ‘quality of life’ surgeries coming up (one at the end of this month), and I can’t shake the fear that because I’m rather medically unlucky, they’ll just somehow end up making things worse or leave me with chronic pain or something.
So basically, hypochondria mixed with general fear of the procedures and recovery.
What also isn’t helping is that my partner has lost two family members (who went in for routine procedures) due to complications with anesthesia, and becomes so worried on my behalf that I actually end up a bit more scared as a result.
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Crying in the car after dropping off my giant fluffball at the vet urgent care. If you have my discord I have probably spammed you pictures of my big fluff sweet to me and a select few others and a menace to everyone else grrrl.
I’m worried bc she’s food motivated and hasn’t eaten in over 24 hours, including not fussing for food. She even refused her fave liquid pouch treat. She also won’t really move around on her own. She still wants to cuddle.
I’m stressed bc getting the bill is bad bc we have our 3 college bills due in the next 2 weeks too but at least we should get some reimbursement from insurance but I feel like I want to throw up and I just want her to be okay and this is horrible timing bc I’m dropping off a college kid at school tomorrow too.
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Vet after doing a brief physical palpation doesn’t think it’s a blockage or anything emergency. She could not complete the full exam because, well, my floof is a vicious beast, and to do anything more they were going to need to sedate her (and the vet did not really want to do that unless I felt strongly about it at this point.) So they are going to shoot her up with antiemetic, which will give her tummy time to resettle and maybe get her interested in eating/drinking. And then is sending her home. Then if she’s not eaten by tomorrow morning that’s a heads up that we may need to go back in tomorrow afternoon and definitely if she starts getting worse. So, I am going to go get my baby right now, and less of a vet bill too, since she didn’t let them do an xray or blood draw.
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@mietze Maybe she just got into something that upset her tummy. Hoping she’s happy and hungry soon!
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@Snackness could be!
When I got to the vet they had the whole carrier wrapped in a thick blanket. I could hear her growing, hissing and spitting even coming down the hallway. She stopped growling when she saw me, but hissed at the poor vet tech who tried to talk to her every time he said anything. The vet said she’d never seen a cat be that reactive in a snap before, was going to put a note in her file, possibly have her take some kind of relaxant pill or something if she needed to come in again, suggested to just leave her in the wrapped carrier for awhile after getting home because she was worried the cat would attack /us/ she was so wound up…
…but when I parked the car at home, she started making her mama where are you meows and so I unwrapped the blanket, we went into the house, she immediately got out of her carrier and wanted pets and rubs from me and hubby, and now she’s walking around like nothing happened being her usual affectionate self. Her brother is slinking and keeping his distance, I think she must have vet smell/pissed off cat pheromones so bad that not even my stupid panther boiii wants to fuck around and find out. She’s nestled on my feet purring right now. They did shoot her up with an anti nausea thing, though. It took a projected $1200 bill down to $200 though so I’m not going to complain.
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@mietze Oh, gosh! I have a super food motivated girl, too, and she did this recently. I was so worried about her since my old man passed after going off his food (a few years ago now). My mom is a vet receptionist (and former vet tech) and advised to check her heart rate and respiration (Dr google was helpful to learn how), saying as long as that’s normal, it’s proooobably not super serious. The next day she was back to her usual black hole for food vibe.
Hopefully your floof will be the same!
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@mietze My own fluffball had something similar to this, except that he was throwing up everything he ate, even water. It also involved an emergency trip to the vet.
Like yours, they gave him an anti-nausea shot and basically said, “Let’s see if that helps,” and within six hours he was fine and like nothing ever happened. XD
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My big guy made an escape this week, and was gone for almost 24 hours. My son and I were in goddamn shambles about it, he is the sweetest cat I have ever owned and takes long snuggle-naps with me almost every day so the hole in my chest could’ve fit a train through it had anything happened to him, and the kiddo was just crying and crying; really didn’t help that my sister’s cat had just been hit by a car and died, so that’s all he could think about.
Luckily when we went out looking for him and called his name he started yelling for us from his hiding spot under the apartment stairs, a bit spooked but not hurt, and was back to his old lovey self after a few minutes.
Seeing all these memorial posts makes my heart hurt for y’all, I genuinely don’t know what I will do when this guy passes.
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@Wizz said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
My big guy made an escape this week, and was gone for almost 24 hours. My son and I were in goddamn shambles about it, he is the sweetest cat I have ever owned and takes long snuggle-naps with me almost every day so the hole in my chest could’ve fit a train through it had anything happened to him, and the kiddo was just crying and crying; really didn’t help that my sister’s cat had just been hit by a car and died, so that’s all he could think about.
Luckily when we went out looking for him and called his name he started yelling for us from his hiding spot under the apartment stairs, a bit spooked but not hurt, and was back to his old lovey self after a few minutes.
Seeing all these memorial posts makes my heart hurt for y’all, I genuinely don’t know what I will do when this guy passes.
Our dog escaped the house for over a day last February. Hands down one of the biggest nightmare scenarios of my life.
We got her back after a group of people spotted her, tracked her, and managed to corner her in someone’s yard. Sometimes there are good people out there.
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Feeling really low today. My youngest sister had her wedding ceremony and reception last night, and my son and I were invited but had not been asked to take part in any meaningful way even though the other sibs were – the two other sisters were bridesmaids, bro-in-law was asked to have his band play, my niece was the sole ringbearer for the second ceremony even though it had been mentioned but never confirmed that my son was going to be the other one.
Mormon weddings are already kind of painful as everyone not a full member of the church has to just sort of stand around awkwardly for an hour outside the temple or in a waiting room while the “real” ceremony happens, but they even had a second exchange of vows in which my new bro-in-law had his friend “officiate” by literally just saying, “OK are you ready for the vows? Do you have the rings? OK now kiss.” Like…I’m a decent wordsmith, I could have had some nice things to say for my little sis and her husband, but it didn’t even cross their minds apparently.
Feeling like I was there because she felt obligated to invite me was a pretty unpleasant revelation. There’s enough of an age gap that I essentially helped raise her when she was a kid, and while she withdrew to a degree after I left the church, I had always assumed we were at least fairly close.
I get that weddings are a whirlwind and a lot of things can get lost in the noise but boy, it was really hurtful in a way I was not entirely expecting and I am not sure how or even if I should express it to them.
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@Wizz This is kind of why we decided to only have one person on each family stand with me and my fiance. Our best friends rather than our siblings. My only sibling is invited, but as a guest, not as apart of the wedding.
In fact, there’s only one family member from either family in the wedding party, and that’s my 13 year old cousin who’s an usher. Everyone else, the officiant, the ring bearer and flower girl are all friends from our DnD group. That was done intentionally so none of the family feels like they’re being purposefully left out.
Because that was a family drama I did not want. As I know what I’d say, which be along the lines of “Family doesn’t give you special privileges, especially if we don’t talk save beyond one holiday a year.” And I don’t know about anyone else, but that’s just not a conversation I want to have at the Xmas dinner. So, everyone gets left out.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
“Family doesn’t give you special privileges, especially if we don’t talk save beyond one holiday a year.”
Our family has always had a very different dynamic than that, we all live pretty close and go out of our way to see each other at least a couple times a month, which is why it felt extra hurtful.
It definitely would have been a better and wiser choice to not have any of us that involved either way, but it’s whatever. She’s very young, it was all sort of done in a rush, I can get over it but it just stings for now.
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@Wizz I’m sorry, that sounds really stressful.
My totally unsolicited ‘been a bride’ advice is, if you decide talk to her about it, give it a couple of weeks. Weddings are stressful af, even the good ones.
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I appreciate the advice, and have definitely felt it’s something I should give a little time to sit with before I say anything, if I even do. I am not the type to just immediately storm into a confrontation if something makes me upset anyway, and I can certainly see why it would only harm both of us in this case especially. It was a lovely wedding despite my feels getting hurt, and they deserve the time to come down from the stress of all the preparation and enjoy the honeymoon.
