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Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo
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@mangosplitz said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
@BloodAngel The problem is that some of the skills that make someone a good storyteller or role player (knowing how to evoke an emotional response in someone) are the same ones that can be used to manipulate someone OOCly as well.
Correlation does not equal causation; there are many invaluable skillsets, both related to MU* and otherwise, which could technically be used to manipulate others.
However there is a definite causation between players who leverage their useful attributes - and being willing to run PrPs is a fairly common one in this context - to influence staff and help mitigate risks related to harassing others.
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@mangosplitz said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
a Magnificent Bastard
As a person who loves this trope more than certain family members, I’d like to distance it from any kind of predation please thank you. >_>
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@mangosplitz said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
The sorts of people who need to get Red Flagged are also generally the sort of people who are VERY good at manipulating, and so they will have counter receipts anyway and sometimes those are more damaging than the initial offense. So receipts are a very tricky subject.
As Jethro Gibbs would say, “trust but verify”. It doesn’t have to be public to all, but if games don’t substantiate claims, it will allow accusations to be weaponized for any type of grievance. It only takes one false accusation to be acted on to break down the trust of an entire community in all directions and destroy the environment.
Trust but verify.
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@Warma-Sheen said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
It only takes one false accusation to be acted on to break down the trust of an entire community in all directions and destroy the environment
So how many instances would you say it takes to ruin community trust when the event is someone being harassed and made to feel unsafe and unwelcome?
Being banned from a game is not being sent to jail.
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“It’s more important to protect an abuser’s reputation than it is to protect a victim from abuse. She must PROVE she is a victim beyond reasonable doubt to ensure we don’t hurt his feelings by excluding him.”
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The thread here did make it to AOA of course.
(:Public:) Hadrix Kora (Had) sayz, “I apparently roll around, hasslin’ ladies sexually and Cujo lets me get away with it.”
Yes, that is exactly what a large number of people in the community are saying.
(:Public:) Hadrix Kora (Had) says, “I do know on a couple of occasions, when I worded something wrongly and was told I was toeing a line I made sure to apologize, explain it wasn’t the intention and actively took steps to correct for future interactions. Because if I ever go over the line I’d prefer to be told I did, so I can examine what I did, correct it and try to make amends.”
First: Why are you toeing a line about sexual content to begin with? That is already wrong.
Second: I ran that statement by Player 1 in the original post. She said:
It’s an absolute and blatant lie, and he’s trying to play this fucking victim card.
NEVER did he apologize to me. In fact, he told me to ‘lighten up’ at one point.
And I -did- directly tell him he crossed a fucking line.
More than once -before- I started reporting him.The general mood on AOA about this is that we (me, forum commenters, harassment reporters) are all lying. Everyone associated to Hadrix is on narcissist prayer mode:
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.I guess it’s hard to believe it can happen, if it didn’t happen to you.
This post here will be my last because I think the two points I wanted to make are clear now:
- There is a problem on this game around sex pressure and bullying
- Staff and bad actors are unwilling or unable to make meaningful change to address it. They’ve seen the first post and response, and they are not making any changes.
I would like to thank the Brand Mu Day community for overwhelmingly being supportive and believing victims without making them rehash their unpleasant experiences.
For Hadrix and Cujo, since I know you guys are reading this now, I’ll say it again: Do better. You are in positions of accountability. Do fucking better.
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How many occasions do you have to be told you are toeing a line, is my question?
People really be like-- ‘no it’s fine to do this multiple times because i apologized to that person and just tried again differently’ as their defense and it blows my mind.
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“I don’t want to cross the line, I just want to get as close as I can get away with, as often as possible.”
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Generally, for me, the corroboration I need on these kinds of things is how people react when it comes out in the open.
If you get a lot of unrelated people not under the power of the accused saying, “That doesn’t match my experience at all with this person, and I just don’t see it,” then I’m skeptical.
If, on the other hand, a lot of unrelated people not under the power of the accused come out and say, “Oh thank god, someone finally said something. This is absolutely what I’ve seen/experienced,” then I’ve rarely ever seen that be wrong.
Abusers rarely target just one person, and over years, they build up quite a trail of destruction. You don’t really need receipts; generally you just need people to feel comfortable saying, “Me too.”
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@kopecup said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
(:Public:) Hadrix Kora (Had) says, “I do know on a couple of occasions, when I worded something wrongly and was told I was toeing a line
It’s really not hard to avoid that line.
You’re choosing to toe it.
Clarity: replying to this person on the game and not actually at @kopecup who brought us this news
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@tsar I can’t be the only one who read that line and had flashbacks to Bill Cosby talking about how he likes to play in the gray area between permission and rejection.
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This ain’t Soapbox, but I’m about to get on one.
I don’t think I’ve ever been told that I was even toeing a line. It’s remarkable how EASY it is to not harass people, it is astounding how EASY it is not to pepper your interactions with unwanted, sexual content, so the fact that he has had to (allegedly) apologize even “a couple of times” for (allegedly) cutting it “close” is incredibly telling.
The response from Hadrix, and those so quick to jump to his defense, is incredibly telling because it is so familiar. There is a reason people do not come forward to accuse their abusers - it almost always makes it worse for the victim while the abuser slides. You see it over and over again with cases like this. I saw it when I reported my assault.
Charisma does not equal innocence. “Well I haven’t seen it” does not equal innocence. If action was going to be taken when these accusations were made and proof was compiled, Cujo would have done so. He didn’t. He continues to not. He clearly doesn’t give a shit.
I am not one of the players mentioned in the original post. What I am is a survivor of sexual assault and I am not sitting around to see nothing done to act on claims made. Not again. I am leaving a game that I have loved and enjoyed for years because I cannot be apart of a community that perpetuates and protects people like this.
It is clear that Cujo and AoA do not care, and it is clear that Hadrix and those close to him do not intend to atone or change. That’s all I need to know. Bye. Do better.
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@hellfrog said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
@Warma-Sheen said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
It only takes one false accusation to be acted on to break down the trust of an entire community in all directions and destroy the environment
So how many instances would you say it takes to ruin community trust when the event is someone being harassed and made to feel unsafe and unwelcome?
Judging by the OP, more than eight. One sexual predator is worth at least eight victims, and probably a lot more depending on what kopecup means by “several.”
Putting it in numbers like that may have convinced me to leave this hobby forever. Of all the ways pretending to be elves and vampires and space samurai should be, this shouldn’t be it. This shouldn’t fucking be it.
Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, Age of Alliances. I know I shouldn’t say that because anger just makes them defensive and entrenched and blah blah blah, but no one in a position to change that culture is capable of seeing me as a full human being anyway so I don’t know why they would care about my opinion to get mad about in the first place.
I’m going for a walk or maybe just to play in traffic, I don’t know.
(Don’t worry about me. That last part was a joke intended to indicate how fucked up all this is and how exhausting I find it to have to navigate r*pe culture even when pretending to be a goddamn Jedi. I am going to leave the computer and do a good hard think about my life, but I’m not going to do anything sillier than possibly break the terms of service for this website by telling a game to get bent. Moderators, do with that what you gotta. I understand and accept my punishment.)
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@Pyrephox said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
Abusers rarely target just one person, and over years, they build up quite a trail of destruction. You don’t really need receipts; generally you just need people to feel comfortable saying, “Me too.”
I had no plans to post here, but in an effort to stand in solidarity with others who have spoken out:
Me too.
Not only was I harassed by Hadrix, but complaints made about other sexual harassment on the game were also ignored by Cujo. It pains me to see Hadrix, a person who has driven off countless players through harassment and intimidation, not only elevated to a staff position but protected by a staff that knows he is guilty.
Cujo will not change, he will not rectify this, he will not do anything to stop people like Hadrix. Cujo is complicit in this because he would rather side with abusers than risk upsetting their friends.
Play this game at your own risk.
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Age of Alliances uses Penn, last I checked. There is a simple flag that can be switched to now log every command sent by a player object. Putting someone on a watch list for bad behavior is easy mode on Penn.
So they said do not rp with the dude. OBVIOUSLY. But you also follow up and investigate. Which, as mentioned, is easy mode on Penn. Looks like they aren’t doing the easiest of steps.
Now… it is possible to accidentally trip over the line, even if you put in a lot of work to avoid doing it. I’ve done it. Mentioning that you regularly toe the line means you’re not putting in any effort.
I don’t know if this is going to be what finally gets me to use the Chontio code as-is, instead of learning how to fix it, but the temptation sure has been going up because of all this.
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It all kind of brings back a feeling of Claremont / Heroes United stuff sort of vibe. Maybe worse. Everyone knows about the creepin’ and stuff. It’s really disappointing.
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People who behave like this should be banned from every game and have no place to play. The community should reject them individually and en masse. And yeah i agree that it’s disappointing to see this same fucking shit playing out again with the same idiotic “but how do we know bitches ain’t lying” that happens every single fucking time.
let it be a challenge to you
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@sao “But how do we know bitches ain’t lying” and then in x amount of years once it’s no longer cool or socially acceptable to support that person? “Damn them, if only we had known what they were really like!”
Seems to be how this shit goes, yeah. It’s fucking exhausting.
ETA: I realized I wanted to say something positive.
This, right here, all of us coming together defending victims, refuting insistence that receipts be necessary and explaining why in cases like this they are absolutely not necessary? It gives me hope that, if nothing else, victims will feel confident to speak up and know they can find support here, if even if they can’t on the MU they play.
And that’s not nothing!
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I can raise my hand and say in the time I played on AOA, the sex problems were real.
Cujo seemed enthusiastic as an admin, but I was disappointed as there’s a family that runs some kind of merc faction there (or did when I played there) Greystorm I think, something like that? One of the players that was a lead there had some real manipulative things going. I’m surprised she wasn’t kicked, but she also was deeply involved in running rp stuff. So I think she’s still there today.
The whole thing where the admin just says this stuff on the channel couldn’t be more blatant though.
Honestly - this reminds me of when Shangrila melted down. The admin Sloth had been accused of breaking the rules, getting involved with his staff alt, etc. People were coming forward, and it was found to be valid and they booted him. Before they did he was posting things that sounded just like him. Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the same person.
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@Pyrephox said in Star Wars Age of Alliances: Hadrix and Cujo:
If you get a lot of unrelated people not under the power of the accused saying, “That doesn’t match my experience at all with this person, and I just don’t see it,” then I’m skeptical.
Please be very careful with that thinking. MU*ing is a small community. And there are abusers who are very good at hiding, very good at insinuating themselves in with other people in power, very good at picking victims, and good at making sure you become abundantly aware that there will be consequences if you speak up. Whether those consequences are real or not, the fear of them often makes victims stay silent.
Those abusers are also typically really good at making sure they only show their bad side to their victims and do everything they can to discredit those victims so that their friends will speak up in their defense.
To use an IRL example that could be triggering to some but I cannot find a spoiler tag so please feel free to skip to the next post:
I have an ex that is as good as gold to everyone around him. He’s kind, he’s generous to a fault. He speaks respectfully to his elders, holds open doors for women whether he’s interested in them or not, everyone gets ‘yessir’ or ‘yessum’. He’s the guy other guys, and plenty of girls who haven’t dated him, point at and say ‘see, nice guys really exist!’.
When you’re first dating him, you’re his princess. And he picks girls who aren’t used to that treatment, who don’t have a lot of friends, and does everything he can to get them used to it, to make it clear how no one else will ever do as much for them, will ever make them feel so special.
And then once he thinks you’re well and truly hooked, and you’re in a situation where you’re financially and emotionally dependent on him? Well. I’m pleased to say I saw where it was going before it got too bad.
But even still, none of his exes have spoken up in any sort of public way. Because to the people he doesn’t want to date, he’s as good as gold, and they defend him rabidly. And they’re everywhere within the small community he lives in, so even if you’re not under his power, you’re under his power and it’s better to either fall silent or get the hell out of town than to deal with people treating you like shit because you spoke out about their golden boy.
