Bannings
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@blu I
Blanche but i likesophia better. No relevance to current discussion. The image thing made me instantly think that. -
It is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to realize a mistake, apologize, but then
NOT FUCKING DO THAT THING AGAIN.
Ghost particularly has shown HE HAS NOT CHANGED. Reading his posts is making me flash back to arguments about CRT and making sure we teach “both sides” of historic events. Guess what!! There isn’t always two sides. If one was pure evil, I am not going to teach that as a reasonable path to follow. I’m going to tell kids (in religion removed language) “This is the paved path to hell, watch out for people doing this because all THIS OTHER SHIT will happen as a result.”
How do we heal the community? Maybe we start by not trying to apologize for the well established bad actors.
Also… weird how the only person to mention BMD is Derp. I would say a majority of us here are now NOT THERE and if we had some organized conspiracy we would just all go make fake accounts to fuck up MSB. We wouldn’t sit in our little thread here and complain.
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I think I am just going to try not to let my curiosity get the better of me and completely ignore MSB. It seems like looking there just annoys me. Besides, everyone I like, as far as I know, has left MSB in displeasure or loss of interest in the both good and bad of MSB (mostly bad there now) an BMD. Rather than make myself angry about their cherry picking of ‘troublemakers’ to ban or not to ban. And take a page from Sophia of Golden Girls about them:
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HavenRPG alumni watching MSB:
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I just want everyone to know that I have appreciated each and every one of you. I know I’m not ‘in crowd’ or anything, but thank you for all the stories. I’m not leaving this board like I posted on the other one. I just want to let you all know too.
On MSB - all of you being involved with me or reaching out led to my handling of DownWithOPP and with my issues with Ruiz. I’m avoidant IRL about emotions and stuff, so it helped. I would never have said anything if no one reached out. Also IRL - the ADHD board led me to a diagnosis that helped my RL. While I’m quiet a lot and I don’t share personal things too much - I just want you all to know that I appreciate each of you.
I also wanted to post it on this board because it’s spawned on MSB and those things happening happened there. So thank you. Thank you for engaging with me here and there. Thank you for RPing with Esme on Arx. I have enjoyed every scene, every time.
Okay, carry on.
Thank you.
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@RightMeow said in Bannings:
I just want everyone to know that I have appreciated each and every one of you. I know I’m not ‘in crowd’ or anything, but thank you for all the stories. I’m not leaving this board like I posted on the other one. I just want to let you all know too.
On MSB - all of you being involved with me or reaching out led to my handling of DownWithOPP and with my issues with Ruiz. I’m avoidant IRL about emotions and stuff, so it helped. I would never have said anything if no one reached out. Also IRL - the ADHD board led me to a diagnosis that helped my RL. While I’m quiet a lot and I don’t share personal things too much - I just want you all to know that I appreciate each of you.
I also wanted to post it on this board because it’s spawned on MSB and those things happening happened there. So thank you. Thank you for engaging with me here and there. Thank you for RPing with Esme on Arx. I have enjoyed every scene, every time.
Okay, carry on.
Thank you.
I was going to tag you here at first, then hesitated because I didn’t want to haul you in.
But I wanted to say that I did notice your posting going down and your absence. You’re not as easily forgotten as you think that you are.
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I posted a LONG post on MSB about this stuff too. I know some of you can’t see that – I just wanted to thank everyone here too.
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all of you. -
@RightMeow I remember one of the times you were talking about, when someone accused you of just pushing for TS in every scene and hounding any available male character. I remember specifically having had a couple of lovely scenes with you at that point, with a male Prince that I had made specifically to be marriage bait, and just going wtf??? over it at the time, because you’d displayed none of that with me.
So I spoke up. I am glad that you guys got the situation resolved and that everyone was able to clear the air.
That is to say, I agree that good things come out of these boards. While there are shitty peeves that sometimes should be kept to ourselves (i have fallen into that hole before) and some old arguments and old grudges, I think having this community is important to also put those grudges aside.
I think when people hold their grudges the longest, it’s because they haven’t been interacting with the people and avoiding them, and not seeing them really as people. This community gives us a way to do that.
And I am just rambling, but I am glad you’re part of our community, RM.
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Gonna echo @tsar here. You really aren’t as inconsequential as you appear to think you are. I miss you when you’re not around! Your voice has so much heart in it. We NEED that.
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Hey, you. Yeah, you, the one reading this. No, I don’t know who you are. Doesn’t matter for what I’m about to say, and if you think it does, you are incorrect.
You’re cool and the people who deserve you like you for who you are. Got it? You better, because if I catch you saying otherwise, you will be in trouble.
Good. Now go on, get outta here. Go conquer the world. You got this.
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Look, people can talk about how toxic and broken the community is and don’t get me wrong here - there are definitely people that are bad actors, there are behaviors that are problematic, there are persistent attitudes that I wish would just fuck off and die already.
But… I have had people in the community help me out during a pet emergency. I’ve sent groceries and home furnishings to people in the community. I’ve had people help my husband get a job. I’ve reviewed and rewritten other people’s resumes. A handful of MUers I know are literally the only people who try to use my pronouns correctly and respect my identity, including literally all of my family and almost all of my friends and definitely every single person I work with.
There is just as much, if not far more, good than there is bad – just like in most every community. And yes, you should point out the bad. You should try to fix it. You should make a space safer and more welcoming.
But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, if all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…
I dunno, boo. Maybe the problem is just that you need something to constantly rail against so you can make yourself feel superior?
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But if the only thing you seem to see is the bad, of all you can focus on is the bad, if all you can talk about is the bad…
This was me for a long time. Less about feeling superior but more consistent fixation on it coupled with an undiagnosed clinical depression at the time.
While I’m still a pessimist, it’s at least been tempered with reminders that there are reasons to not expect constant disappointment.
And it took them a long good while, but @Aria did play a large role in shaking me free of that particular mindset. So they’re absolutely right, there is more good than bad. I just have to be reminded of it.
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@Testament said in Bannings:
And it took them a long good while, but @Aria did play a large role in shaking me free of that particular mindset. So they’re absolutely right, there is more good than bad. I just have to be reminded of it.
I am terrible at human emotions. Vulnerability is gross and also possibly contagious and that is profoundly concerning because feelings are those unfortunate things that happen to other people.
I am, however, happy to yell at people to stop being miserable and sad. Or physically force them into something productive as a distraction. You would be surprised how often this actually works.
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@Aria If you’re comfortable sharing in public, what are your pronouns so I can make sure I’m using the right ones?
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I prefer they/them. She/her is also fine. Like, I won’t be mad about it or offended if someone uses that, especially given how complicated my own feelings about gender are and the fact that my body-type adds a lived experience I will always have thrust on me barring major surgery I don’t want, but I do get the warm fuzzies when folks at least try.
