MU Peeves Thread
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I got bitched out 10 years ago for ‘unfairly’ greeting some people and not others on a public channel (because I’m not watching the channel 24/7!) and people are stiiiiill doing it.
I don’t mind that they do it. I mind that I got bitched out and they don’t.
eta: not saying I want them to get bitched out, I want me to NOT get bitched out.
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@Snackness hi snackness
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@Snackness I’m just gonna say you posted this 4 minutes after I greeted some people on channel but not everyone so this is definitely about me
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@Rathenhope No, it’s about the people who bitched me out 10 years ago. I think everyone should be able to greet who they want without worrying about getting dinged for it. Maybe I’m the only one who ever got dinged, that would be nice.
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@Snackness i’m sorry but we had a meeting and you were the sacrificial lamb
thank you
you are braver than the troops
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@Snackness said in MU Peeves Thread:
Maybe I’m the only one who ever got dinged, that would be nice.
oh don’t worry, you’re definitely not
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@Roz I do understand a gentle reprimand in terms of excessive celebration, but just hello’s and hi’s and waves? Most of us aren’t robots!
BUT I’M NOT BITTER OR ANYTHING.
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Also, who are these presumptuous buttholes who think you owe them greetings? Is it your job? Are you an official greeter?
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I hope no one hates me for this, but sometimes I avoid greeting anyone on channels, because I feel obligated to greet everyone otherwise.
And I’m not ASD, I swear, but this is one of those social norms I could live without.
I would way prefer a frosty atmosphere where people skip greetings and just talk about whatever’s pertinent. (Maybe this is why most of my friends are ASD??) Idc if you’re weird and have no etiquette, just page me out of nowhere to game. That’s fine. -
also, i’m not going to greet everyone, because i don’t like some people and it’s as simple as that.
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If I greet people on channels, I greet everyone because I don’t want anyone to feel left out. Even if I don’t particularly like someone, I still often project that they’ll feel bad because no one responded. This impulse has definitely gotten me into trouble/attention by people I’d rather not have, so I try to stay quiet more often than not and jump into conversations in media res.
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now that i avoid using clients, i am super spacy on channels because I don’t see them pop up unless I look at a certain menu.
on the one hand i don’t worry if people don’t say anything to me back, but i don’t want to make people feel bad either. hopefully they forgive me!
sometimes this thing really trips me up, because it’s also the case i like pinging people to say hi or something dumb or whatever but i know that’s often seen as not okay or bothersome too (and i try to avoid it at all on my male pcs in particular because well, i had to deal with all those weird creeping mfers too).
so i worry but also tend to slip up frequently when squirrel brain activates. i hope if anyone really feels like i hurt them or was ignoring them and it was really bothering them (vs just a little annoyance like we all get over stuff we don’t always super care about), it’s okay to tell me because i want to know and would try to do better (though honestly keeping up with channel might be too much so it’d be a hi in pages!)
But someone snapping and trying to control my behavior to make me do some blanket thing to everyone or no one, that seems a bit controlling and gross, and I can see why that would feel super ick, I’d probably feel the same way with someone wagging finger/policing me like that!
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
now that i avoid using clients, i am super spacy on channels because I don’t see them pop up unless I look at a certain menu.
This did happen to me waaay before Ares. I hope nowadays people can be even more forgiving because for the most part if I’m only on the portal I’m not monitoring channels AT ALL.
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@Snackness i do think that there’s a number of people that use that sort of thing as a control issue.
Keeping people in line, trying to make them feel unsure, or like they’re inconsiderate and nobody will like them now that they’ve done x thing in public, ect.
It’s just straight up manipulative control freak yuck!!
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I remember a drama about channel greetings and people feeling super left out because some people got lots of greetings and others didn’t and even at the time I found it depressing because a lot of the time it was just about timing and noticing someone log on while actively paying attention as opposed to being identity specific and half the time I only notice someone was online when I see their disconnect message.
I think ten years is probably about right. I don’t think snackness and I were even on the same game though, I think the hobby just gets like this sometimes.
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And I’m not ASD, I swear,
This phrase gives me the ick. I’m assuming you don’t intend it negatively, but there is so much stigma around being autistic already that it would be really cool if we didn’t casually add to it.
I tend to greet people more often than not because I hate feeling invisible and I want people to know that they’re seen. That said, I try not to announce myself every time I log in because it sucks when THAT is ignored, and I generally only greet people who do say hi or give some indication that they want to be greeted, because not everyone has the connect/disconnect messages on, and maybe the quiet person doesn’t actually want to be perceived in that way.
Pretty much all of us have some communication baggage.
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Greetings, meatbags.
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I always find it a bit creepy when it is clear someone has someone else on watch and they start gushing over them on the channel when they log in, but haven’t even ; waved or said ‘hi’ yet.
It also kind of bums me out if I end up logging in day after day and get tumbleweeds, but there is very clearly a group that are friends and treat each other logging on like the second coming of Jesus or something.
Obviously there is nothing objectively wrong with these behaviours and people can say hi to who they want. But, it is a peeves thread and I am allowed to find the behaviour personally irritating, also!
