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Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread
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@KarmaBum Well also the character was a male escort. So he didn’t feel like he was the right person to help her with that. He’s like “You need someone who will appreciate that and who you don’t have to pay” but I think her whole approach was eventually him realizing he loved her? Or maybe her just becoming creepy attached to him. After the fact someone warned me she had an rp partner who was on game too and they constantly did jealousy style arcs. So definitely glad I noped out of that one.
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I’m probably being paranoid, but now I’m wondering if someone who I’ve been I just started RPing with off and on a game I play on(not the one I run, mind)should be giving me red flags or not. Because they came on strong out of nowhere. And after reading this I’m like ‘okay what should I be watching out for’.
I’m probably reading too much into it, but I suppose now I’m a bit more aware.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@SockMonkey said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
@hellfrog No I had a char that was in a relationship with hers in another game. She honestly seemed fine there. The second game is where I apped, we realized who each other were and I thought it was a fun reconnection. Then, she said my apped char wasn’t ‘right’ for hers but still ended up trying to get with him anyways. That’s when the harassing behavior started.
She might have seemed fine because she was getting what she wanted at that time in the previous relationship/game.
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@Testament I recall complaining to someone else about a person’s creepy behavior; they pointed me to a thread with the same pattern and it was both validating and horrifying. And also the same creep.
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@CuriousGamer Yeah. It also just fell into a lot of my triggers from previous life experiences and I think with how quick it all escalated left me super shaken.
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@Testament Harder to say without context. There’s a lot of people that come on too strong. And a lot of creepers. It may be a different creeper.
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@crawfish For me, it’s not entirely the same behavior(but enough where I look at it more closely), and I have zero desire to see something that’s not there or start some kind of witch hunt or whatever. What might be is someone who simply plays a far more open character I could potentially read as something worse when it’s not that at all.
This could also just be my own hangup when a character comes onto to mine that, A, I don’t know the player. and B, when I’m not used to characters coming onto mine simply because I tend to play character that aren’t really romanceable.
@CuriousGamer And it may not be a creeper at all, and I’m just letting my own paranoia of players who I don’t know influencing me. Just trying to be careful. Suffice to say, I simply don’t know enough yet to make a determination.
ETA: Someone has spoken to me already and confirmed my situation is not Macha-related. It’s me being a paranoid asshole. Carry on.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament So you bring up a good point here.
Does anyone have any solid tells for Macha? Things to look out for where one of her, or her set of people might be fishing for? Behaviors to look out for?
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@CuriousGamer said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
@Testament So you bring up a good point here.
Does anyone have any solid tells for Macha? Things to look out for where one of her, or her set of people might be fishing for? Behaviors to look out for?
While we’re talking about this, I do want to warn against assuming anyone with similar behaviours is Macha and announcing it to the world. It happens far, far too frequently in our little corner of the community, and it is best avoided.
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@Testament said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
ETA: Someone has spoken to me already and confirmed my situation is not Macha-related. It’s being a paranoid asshole. Carry on.
I’m glad you were able to get it confirmed but this is also always something we need to be aware of as a community, I think. We do tend to flinch and wonder if someone is THAT PERSON.
But I mean I still flinch every time I see a certain name or PB, so who am I to throw stones?!
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@Pavel That’s good advice. And you don’t want to tip off Macha. You should never assume someone is someone else. But behaviors to look out for and make you consider ‘could this be’ I could see as a positive.
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IDK a lot about the wet mop in question, but what bums me out is how challenging it is to balance the “assume positive intentions” mindset that makes RPing with folks over the internet a lot smoother against the absolutely legitimate concern-edging-paranoia that the person you’re talking to is actually a corrosive manipulator, gaslighter, and abuser who is just waiting for their moment.
Sometimes that shit just takes a lot of spoons, man.
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@Tez said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
@Testament said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
ETA: Someone has spoken to me already and confirmed my situation is not Macha-related. It’s being a paranoid asshole. Carry on.
I’m glad you were able to get it confirmed but this is also always something we need to be aware of as a community, I think. We do tend to flinch and wonder if someone is THAT PERSON.
But I mean I still flinch every time I see a certain name or PB, so who am I to throw stones?!
This is why I was worried about saying anything at all inititally. I don’t want someone to get dragged who had nothing to do with it. So I pointedly did not name names or say even what the game was. There’s a couple folks who know where I play who reached out. So I’m glad it got taken care of.
But yes, generally I agree that I need to flinch a little less with “OH FUCK IS IT THAT PERSON???”
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It’s funny, because 10 years ago I would not have said that I was worried about Macha sneaking in and manipulating people, because my experience of her is that her behavior was so obvious. And while she was a huge pain in the butt, I don’t think we saw her get aggressively creepy with someone over ship/romance stuff.
But actually it sounds like, not only has she not gotten better in the past ten years, she’s actually gotten worse.
Really sorry to the folks she’s been this new level of awful with.
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She never edited logs, she just acted as though reality was completely different than it was. Often in small, petty ways (like a time she decided to pretend a character had a small dick???). But also just constantly. Because we didn’t ban her for being a pain in the ass we were often in the circumstance of having to ICly discipline her for behavior that was also against IC rules of the organization she was part of via a staff npc. She would attempt to gaslight the staff npc being run by the same person who GMed the scene where her character did the thing and consistently act OOC like she was in the right the entire time, and we were just victimizing her tragically. She would maintain this for literally years to the point where she was telling people about her version of reality 10+ years later in an attempt to whisper campaign against one of our staffers.
We had more notes and complaints and “watch tone” stuff in her player management thread than any other player on the game over years, including players that DID get banned. But we didn’t have rules that were cut out to deal with her kind of shit and we were young in the ways of staffing and married to our three strikes and you’re out policy.
let it be a challenge to you
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@Roz said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
It’s funny, because 10 years ago I would not have said that I was worried about Macha sneaking in and manipulating people, because my experience of her is that her behavior was so obvious
We also had far worse people to worry ourselves with back then. Or at least far more creepers and manipulators to keep an eye out for.
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I think if someone’s behavior is giving you red flags or making you uncomfortable, you should feel comfortable to heed that and think about how you want to address it, whether it’s a possibility that it’s one of the community’s roving creepers or not.
The hobby does get new people every day, and some of them are creepers. And, for that matter, someone who isn’t a “habitual creeper” can still make another player feel uncomfortable, whether they mean to or not. You have the right to play a game without being pressured or harassed.
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Admittedly new to this whole tracking MU* sex pests stuff that y’all seem to be very accustomed to so maybe this is newb question…
Is there a reason these call-out posts don’t include a list of the characters/games these people have played on? Like y’all have varying levels of familiarity with this and other known bad actors that those of us on the outside don’t so maybe it doesn’t register for you, but it would be way easier to make the connections to past experience if I could read who they’ve played and discover it was someone I encountered. That’d really put the pieces together.
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@shit-piss-love said in Macha Awareness (And Unappreciation) thread:
Is there a reason these call-out posts don’t include a list of the characters/games these people have played on?
There are two factors complicating this. First, we don’t necessarily know instances of this particular person being a player vs some random person who made someone uncomfortable that one time. Second, we have a memory for repeated behaviour far more robust than the transient names attached to said behaviour.
Nonetheless, it might be a good idea for someone to compile a list.
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@Testament I, too, having run into a similar person, and am getting the same vibes, AND I’m wondering if I’m just reading too much into it. I’m glad that people at least post stuff to look out for.
