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hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread
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@GF said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
Dude seems to think there is a polite way to demand that people relive their trauma for him so he can litigate whether or not it’s valid, and that refusing to grant him that authority over their lives victimizes him. That makes him a danger, because he can’t see other people as existing outside of what he wants from them.
Give him a second chance in a week if you want to, but I’m getting major “ladies, don’t take a drink from him” vibes.
Look, the ban was fair, but implying that I’m a rapist is not fair. I wrote this huge angry post about my entire life story but thankfully I was temp banned and couldn’t post it. In short, I’m not a rapist, and you all acting like I am one and talking about the ‘trauma responses’ of my ‘victims’ … makes me doubt that every actual predator that you all have dogpiled in this hobby is even a predator at all. Considering some of the predatory behavior I’ve seen and heard of from some of you, and from those you protect by completely ignoring their abuses, it obviously has less to do with behavior and more to do with where friendship/convenience falls. If you want people to listen to you, you’re going to have to be more fair and less biased.
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
… makes me doubt that every actual predator that you all have dogpiled in this hobby is even a predator at all.
Nope. We are not doing this today. I understand you are upset and I am not validating their comments about you. However, we are not going to go down the road you are steering. Please just don’t. As a person who dealt with one of these people, don’t invalidate my experience because you are angry at someone or something said to you.
Please just don’t.
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Okay, fair enough.
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We had a lot of fun together. I vouched for you a lot, and kept your stories alive as long as I could in-game, well past their expiration date or even after your ban; past the time that it was wise to have done so.
You go all in on things.
You’re currently all in on the complete wrong thing. Again.
You can’t see it right now, but I hope you do eventually. I don’t see eye to eye with everyone here on everything they talk about, and even I agree that you’re being fleeced.
She sucks, dude.
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
it obviously has less to do with behavior and more to do with where friendship/convenience falls
Look in the mirror for once.
Please.
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???
To me, a game runner exploiting a player for TS is pretty much always going to be worse than someone lying about who they are on the interwebs.
But that judgment seems like it’s about convenience and friendship to you, somehow?
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@hobos ok, here is my question. Why do you keep making this a replacement, a substitution? If Apos is so awful and you have proof, why don’t you start a thread on him?
Why do you insist on making this a distraction from VulgarKitten? We are never going to focus simply on Apos as an excuse for what she did, or instead of what she did, or to distract from what she did. We can, however, talk about other creeps.
Stop tying it to VulgarKitten/Monique. Stop excusing her behavior.
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@Meg said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
Stop tying it to VulgarKitten/Monique. Stop excusing her behavior.
VulgarKitten/Monique/hella
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@hobos you and Hella falsely accusing someone of sexual exploitation does actual harm to people who are truly victims of this kind of behavior.
I hope you can see past your spite and realize that, and stop perpetuating it.
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
To me, a game runner exploiting a player for TS is pretty much always going to be worse than someone lying about who they are on the interwebs.
We can complain about both.
“This person was lying on the internet and here is where we discuss them”
“Yeah, but THIS person exploited players so we should talk about that!”Sure, we should talk about such accusations. Make a thread.
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@Meg
Because VK lied so that she could avoid the previous dynamic with Apostate, and the dynamic with Corban & his friends, who she had the NCO against in the first place, and who approached her first. I’m not excusing her behavior, just pointing back to the reason why, which again is far more weighty to me.@hellfrog
… ? You upvoted the comment implying I was a rapist, didn’t you? Now you’re worried about “false accusations”? Amidst all the righteous hubbub over the person who lied about who she was on the internet there have been plenty among you who have side-wise corroborated this particular accusation.Anyway I’m not going to make a thread. If I can manage it, I’m not going to come back here and post on this topic again either. Believe it or not, it makes me feel sick to talk about and I’m not interested in maligning Apostate. Despite everything I still have a lot of admiration for him, which is perfectly possible to coexist with these claims, in a toxic homebrew that reminds me of my relationship with my father … anyway, bye. It’s yours to deal with however you will. (Probably continued ignoring of game runner abuse and commenting about how terrible VK is and how you get rapist vibes from me.)
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
d the dynamic with Corban & his friends, who she had the NCO against in the first place,
But he didn’t know that this was her this time. She knew that she was her. She could have backed away and avoided him. She could have reported him. She could have done anything other than engage in a romantic IC relationship with him.
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
… ? You upvoted the comment implying I was a rapist, didn’t you?
I certainly don’t think so, but this is a forum.
You can find and quote the post in question if you want to discuss it.
@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
Because VK lied so that she could avoid the previous dynamic with Apostate, and the dynamic with Corban & his friends
She lied and then pursued that very dynamic. She. pursued. it.
@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
reminds me of my relationship with my father
man, what, do not go around comparing random internet people you do not know to your father, that is so uncomfortable.
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
@Meg
Because VK lied so that she could avoid the previous dynamic with Apostate, and the dynamic with Corban & his friends, who she had the NCO against in the first place, and who approached her first.She lied about who she was and used that ignorance to engage in sexual RP from another player, which is incredibly predatory, creeper behavior, and it is so, so gross that you keep glossing over this and trying to downplay it with talk about how Corban “approached her first.”
He didn’t know who she was. She knew. This is blatantly predatory behavior.
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@hobos said in hobos Temporary Ban Discussion Thread:
@Meg
Because VK lied so that she could avoid the previous dynamic with Apostate, and the dynamic with Corban & his friends, who she had the NCO against in the first place, and who approached her first. I’m not excusing her behavior, just pointing back to the reason why, which again is far more weighty to me.Bringing up accusations of Apos being a creep and Corban being a creep and whoever being a creep as a defense to her behavior is literally excusing her behavior.
Like, I am never going to be one who says ‘well my friend did shitty behavior, but someone else did shitty behavior too’. I am going to listen to each accusation of shitty behavior and weigh it, and not allow justifications for it.
I think you would do yourself a big favor if you consider doing the same here. If you want to bring up accusations about Apostate, bring them up separately. Honestly. Let’s see if the evidence of it holds up without being muddled up in all of the VK shitty behavior stuff.
ETA: I also don’t like-- understand not being willing to make a post to expose someone you know is a creep if you have evidence of a creep? Like I famously burned myself doing that. But I will never not start the fire to expose a known creep, even if I have to use myself as the match.
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We keep talking about how terrible VK/hella is because:
1.) What she did is right on par with famous creepers like Cullen and DwOPP. She didn’t evade a ban (yet), but she certainly pretended to be someone else to get around No Contact requests. That’s gross. That is creeper behavior. There is absolutely no justification for it.
2.) You keep bringing her up and trying to champion her and keeping the conversation going about her. You aren’t convincing anyone that she is the blameless innocent that you want her to be. I can’t decide if you are really just this naïve or if you are still super bothered by your own ban from Arx and are conflating this with whatever lingering issues you obviously cannot get over.
Also, just gonna second @hellfrog here. Projecting your issues with your family on people you only know through a game is real weird and probably something you need to speak to a professional about.
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I hoped my chiming in might lend credence to the fact that there isn’t a wide-ranging conspiracy to try to discredit your friend. Guess I’m drinking the flavor-ade now too, in your view.
I’m sorry that she’s making you feel sick with her quarter truths.
I’m sorry that she’s lying to you.
It’s entirely possible for two people to be completely wrong in their conduct, and one to be more wrong than the other, just as you’re wrong now. Funny how that works.
You were the first person that I played with on Arx. It has been bottomlessly painful to see how fucking off the rails you’ve gone for a cause that you have no evidence for.
I guess my judge of character is pretty shit.
Don’t contact me.
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@Solstice That’s sad.
I’m sorry you’ve got that feel.
