Bannings
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They mistook their role as community enforcers rather than community stewards, and rather than acknowledge their mistake they doubled down on it.
I would argue against this point specifically because I was told, directly (and someone can find those DMs somewhere around here to confirm) that Gany didn’t view her job as a steward. She was the authority and did not like her authority being impugned.
To that end, I think that, sure, the initial overreaction could be described as a kneejerk display of incompetence. But the doubling-down and continued assertions of superiority? That’s malicious.
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It might not be healthy, but let’s not pretend as a hobby we have ever been about making the healthiest choices.
As some have said elsewhere (just saying I don’t take credit for this), a lot of times when you are done wrong it is helpful and important to feel heard. MSB admin, Gany and all, not only didn’t listen but made it clear they didn’t want to or feel it necessary.
This isn’t a ‘protest’ board, and anyone who buys into that stigma is being dumb. A large chunk of people were shut out of a forum. It makes all the sense in the world they would just then find another place to do the thing they were doing all along.
If people have feelings they need to air about what happened, I say that’s valid. I’d be disappointed if it were ever the main focus of all discussion here, but it ain’t.
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But I don’t think they were out to hurt people.
Whether this was true is debatable, but that they are out to hurt people now isn’t. Because there isn’t a way in which the lies they now give can be justified as necessary. They are risible lies, designed only to impugn and libel in service of self-justification.
Honestly, of some I expected it - but there are one or two who were there, who post in support of this, who were among those I counted as friends. Who I spoke up for, and tried to find space for, who I offered time and effort in building story with. And more fool me. That people I don’t really regard as worth much consideration are lying about me is annoying, but I’ve had worse from worse people. That people whom you did have a connection with endorse it? That is truly hurtful.
When someone shows you who they are, over and over again? Believe them.
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@hellfrog For me, it was very very simple: I had decided I wasn’t gonna participate in MSB anymore, but I still wanted to talk about games. So, I’d have happily hopped onto whatever else gave me the option to do that.
It wasn’t about MSB, per se; it was about having a need that MSB no longer could fill.
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@Pyrephox MSB dumped their girlfriend, and it turns out we were better friends with the girlfriend than MSB, so we went with her.
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I lost a twenty year friendship over this bullshit, and I’m probably never going to get over it.
the entity previously known as Sunny
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BUT ALSO, does anything know what The Forge is?! Someone mentioned it in a list with MSB and BMD and I’m like, is there some totally different forum!! Inquiring minds, etc.
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@Roz Typo. It is The Froge. It’s the new cool @hellfrog nightclub where everyone wears a frog mask and commits insane acts of bullying terrorism in DMs. The downstairs moshpit.
@IoleRae I honestly am really sorry about that - I was “lucky” in that the good friends I had were many of those who stepped out early. Heck, my oldest friend on here that I know is probably @icanbeyourmuse, @WhiteRaven and @hellfrog - and that is all only 14 to 12 years ago. I have very few friends I’ve known that long, and losing one - even as people will go “ONLY INTERNET FRIEND” but that’s nonsense -must hurt. Really. I’m sorry you had to experience it.
Side note: I am glad you are now a penguin, which is a fine and noble beast.
When someone shows you who they are, over and over again? Believe them.
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@Narson Goin’ to The Froge tonight.
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@IoleRae Not just you, I promise.
Not just you.
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@Snackness said in Bannings:
@Narson Goin’ to The Froge tonight.
I’m picturing the like red-light district cathouse they lure Beetlejuice with
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I lost a twenty year friendship over this bullshit, and I’m probably never going to get over it.
For whatever it is worth, you were one of the very few people who reached to me when I was at my lowest point when all this shit kicked off. When I went emotionally off the deep end.
You helped me in way that perhaps only one or two others did or even bothered to do when I was struggling far more than I’d like to admit.
I’m sorry you lost someone close to you.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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I think that’s one of the kindest things anybody has said to me in a long time. Thank you for telling me, and I’m so glad I was able to help. I’m even MORE glad that things are going better for you, and super excited for your October 8th. Almost as excited as I am about SPACE PICTURES.
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So, even though (or maybe because?) I wasn’t really part of the mass forced exodus from MSB, I’m going to make a couple of observations about why this topic is probably more healthy than not.
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One of the major problems I keep hearing in the posts of the people grieving the loss of their community and long-time friends is that the bans and breaking of MSB leaves them needing a proactive way and place to vent, which this has become. As opposed to a serious tail-chasing ‘fuck MSB in its neck’, what I’m seeing (YMMV) is more like ‘fuck MSB for banning me for engaging in conversations in the very same way I/we/they had for literally years’. This seems to be leading to conversations even within the thread that hash out how setting out different behavioral and engagement expectations will form a healthier community, and I think that’s a good evolution.
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As a person who has… I want to say two? maybe three?.. solid, 30+ year old grudges, against family members to boot, that I just can’t seem to let go of and that have absolutely shaped me and my perceptions and interactions as an adult, in hindsight I realize if I’d been able to pop the zit (so to speak) of those relationships with other people of different levels of empathy and perspective, I’d be a better, healthier person with far less conflict under my belt. I think this thread is those people popping their collective zits, which may be carrying a gross metaphor too far but which I think, in the end, will actually minimize the amount of resentment people who feel that they have been persecuted, bullied and defamed out of their community. That’s a win for this forum, and their/our future interactions, period.
So, I mean, TL;DR - while wallowing too deeply in anger, insult, and bad feels for too long isn’t going to be cathartic but detrimental, a benefit having other people who went through the same thing coming to build the new community acknowledging what actions led to the necessity of the splinter and what about the construction of the original community led to that is a net gain for everybody.
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