Brand MU Day
    • Categories
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Register
    • Login

    MU Peeves Thread

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Rough and Rowdy
    3.4k Posts 161 Posters 1.6m Views
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • KarmaBumK
      KarmaBum @tsar
      last edited by

      @tsar next time i would prefer if you would ask me if it is ok to use the word carnival tyvm

      On Dragon Wings · https://pern.gaslightswitch.com · pern.gaslightswitch.com port 4201

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
      • OmenO
        Omen @Wizz
        last edited by

        @Wizz said in MU Peeves Thread:

        As someone who prefers to have the option of open and honest OOC communication if needed during intimate scenes instead of before or after, I gotta say I that while I frankly can’t really grok the opposite position, I appreciate everyone who has taken the time here to say that it breaks immersion in an unacceptably uncomfortable way and I will definitely take that into consideration if and when I dip my toes back into the hobby.

        I am sure most people who feel this way do make this clear already with the people they choose to TS with, but that discomfort is something I have to admit I didn’t have an awareness of and I’d definitely want to know upfront.

        I feel this. I know that I have initiated some of these OOC conversations, and realize reading these examples of boundaries that I may have inadvertently been one of the people who bordered on making a mistake. It’s hard not to feel a bit self-conscious thinking back on it now. I appreciate this conversation a lot so that I can be more aware of it in the future!

        I could never grow trees
        Still I planted my seeds

        farfallaF 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
        • N
          Nynrose @L. B. Heuschkel
          last edited by

          @L-B-Heuschkel Unfortunately my memory of LegendMUD is very hazy around all of that - and I played around those times as Lark/Lirra! But wow.

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • farfallaF
            farfalla @Omen
            last edited by

            @Omen I have never had a problem with people checking in OOC! I don’t, and I don’t need it because I don’t have anything I want to avoid, but I appreciate it as a ‘this person is being kind and considerate’ gesture. If this is what makes you comfortable you should keep doing it! Then, if the other person doesn’t like it, you can stop and acknowledge that your play styles don’t match up for that type of scene, nbd.

            as previously stated, good day.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
            • KarmaBumK
              KarmaBum @Wizz
              last edited by

              @Wizz It’s really worth noting: if you and I are about to pretend-plow, you probably already know me well enough to know that I’m not going to RP the deets with you.

              Which is I guess my prevailing point. These conversations need to happen beforehand.

              And, really, it’s true for any emotionally intense scene. Playing those emotions credibly involves a measure of vulnerability for me. I’m not going to be willing to love/hate/murder/fuck/backstab/bromance your PC if I don’t kinda already trust you OOC enough not to take it somewhere I don’t want to go.

              On Dragon Wings · https://pern.gaslightswitch.com · pern.gaslightswitch.com port 4201

              WizzW 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
              • shit-piss-loveS
                shit-piss-love
                last edited by

                Ya know I’ve been over here like “No one ever established any of that stuff with me before the clothes came off” but also getting involved in TS was always the beginning of the least fun parts of the hobby for me and now I’m wondering if these things aren’t more related than I’d thought. Appreciate all the perspectives that have come up in the discussion.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                • M
                  mietze
                  last edited by

                  I think what happens with me is that I don’t think about it until suddenly I realize it and then I kind if explode into oh shit I better make sure they’re okay and also they know that I’m totally okay with what they want but how do I say what without like making it super weird and then I kind of just weirdly stumble into checking in probably more worried than I should be which also make me look like a dork.

                  So like, everyone be forewarned, I am a dork a lot. About lots of things not just those types of things that involve c words.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
                  • WizzW
                    Wizz @KarmaBum
                    last edited by Wizz

                    @KarmaBum said in MU Peeves Thread:

                    Which is I guess my prevailing point. These conversations need to happen beforehand.

                    Nobody is suggesting these conversations shouldn’t happen beforehand if possible, but it needs to be pointed out that people don’t always know all their own triggers, and it is absolutely possible to stumble across one on accident, just like it is in a RL scenario. Expecting someone, even someone you have known for years, to 100% know when and how something is going to affect them beforehand is not fair, as any decent therapist would tell you. Being able to check in, even in the middle of an emotionally intense scene, just seems vital to me.

                    Feeling like you are not able to speak up if something really hits you that you weren’t expecting and having to wait until things are over is just not a scenario I would ever put myself in or advise as a healthy thing to do for others.

                    E KarmaBumK 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 6
                    • farfallaF
                      farfalla
                      last edited by

                      Clearly there’s a wide range in personal preference, and I can see all sides of them tbh. But unless we’re talking about something non-consensual, I think all the approaches discussed are fine. Your comfort matters as much as your RP partner’s, so if you will be uncomfortable if you don’t stop to discuss, stop to discuss. If you would prefer to play Cock Chicken, the other person can also decide whether to stop or continue. Etc.

                      I’m perfectly fine meeting someone in a bar and going back to my place - I’m not going to discuss TS preferences with them as soon as I walk in the bar. But someone else might prefer not to have sex scenes with new people.

                      I think as long as everyone is proceeding with respect and care, any approach is fine.

                      as previously stated, good day.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 12
                      • E
                        eye8urcake @Wizz
                        last edited by

                        @Wizz I feel like someone hitting a previously unknown trigger face-first is a different discussion than the casual ‘how’s my service’ check-in replete with a sudden need to discuss menu options RIGHT HERE AND NOW that I was pointing out that I really don’t want to have sprung on me mid-scene. I don’t speak for anybody else in the ‘leave me alone and react to my RP ICly only wherever possible’ camp.

                        Nobody’s ever suggested not contacting the other participant(s) if someone unknowingly veers into dangerous territory, and conflating the two is meh.

                        WizzW 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • WizzW
                          Wizz @eye8urcake
                          last edited by Wizz

                          @eye8urcake said in MU Peeves Thread:

                          the casual ‘how’s my service’ check-in replete with a sudden need to discuss menu options RIGHT HERE AND NOW that I was pointing out that I really don’t want to have sprung on me mid-scene.

                          Which was, itself, not something anyone here was ever putting forward as a good idea, so maybe we’re all talking a little past each other to some degree about a sensitive topic.

                          It happens.

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                          • RozR
                            Roz
                            last edited by

                            I feel like there’s also two versions of “mid-scene” going on here. There were comments I saw earlier talking about OOC conversations happening MID-THRUST, which indicates to me “the real TS proper has definitely already started and the conversation is coming a little late.” Which is different from mid-scene that’s more like “our characters are going home together and they just got there but haven’t actually started any actual sex.” I think the former is gonna be more jarring than the latter.

                            she/her | playlist

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                            • saoS
                              sao
                              last edited by

                              Yes I do think it is pretty clear that if the first OOC communication you have is ‘this is so hot,’ that’s wildly uncomfortable and I Do Not Want.

                              I much prefer if the first OOC communication is ‘lololol they’re so awk’.

                              let it be a challenge to you

                              T 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                              • P
                                Pyrephox Administrators
                                last edited by

                                The “this is so hot/are you turned on” conversation always baffled me a bit. Because no, I’m not. I’m writing! I am paying more attention to whether I’ve accounted for all limbs and/or props, and trying to keep typos to a forgivable ratio than I am in being turned on.

                                Reading sex scenes CAN turn me on, but…honestly, most TS isn’t a great sex scene, because of the tendency to have one action in one PoV and the next in the other. It’s sort of jarring to read. If I want to get turned on, I read a romance, where the scene flows a lot more naturally.

                                saoS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 8
                                • saoS
                                  sao @Pyrephox
                                  last edited by

                                  @Pyrephox props are the WORST

                                  let it be a challenge to you

                                  E 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • KarmaBumK
                                    KarmaBum @Wizz
                                    last edited by

                                    @Wizz I get you. 👍

                                    On Dragon Wings · https://pern.gaslightswitch.com · pern.gaslightswitch.com port 4201

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                    • E
                                      eye8urcake @sao
                                      last edited by

                                      @sao said in MU Peeves Thread:

                                      @Pyrephox props are the WORST

                                      props

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • R
                                        Rathenhope
                                        last edited by

                                        takes one sip from the drink he ordered three hundred poses ago and now it ceases to exist

                                        farfallaF 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 11
                                        • farfallaF
                                          farfalla @Rathenhope
                                          last edited by

                                          @Rathenhope I recently decided that I was peeved at the word ‘sip’ being used all the time, when no one really sips drinks, and so I’ve been trying to RP without using it. It turns out it’s hard! “Eleanor drinks her drink.” Drink as a verb is very weird and kind of implies a general/over time action so it feels wrong. Gulp only works if you’re actually gulping. Mostly I’ve just been doing “Eleanor takes a drink” but it’s not a satisfying answer. Maybe I’ll give in and sip again.

                                          as previously stated, good day.

                                          shit-piss-loveS SnacknessS WizzW R 4 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                          • shit-piss-loveS
                                            shit-piss-love @farfalla
                                            last edited by

                                            @farfalla

                                            You gotta starting quaffing that shit.

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                            • First post
                                              Last post