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MU Peeves Thread
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Feeling incredibly down over yet another nail in the coffin of my enjoyment of a place that I have loved very much for a long time. It’s not even anything horrible this time. And I stopped trying awhile ago, to be fair.
Sometimes I wonder what it is. I have only once gotten complained directly to my face about my RP (I think when people say shit behind your back it’s actually rarely about YOU and more about what they’re trying to accomplish with the person they’re whispering at), and that was from someone who couldn’t punctuate even while trying and regularly used “could of” for real. Generally people like me? And the people who really don’t it’s not like I can blame them as it’s more often than not very very mutual. But clearly whatever it is that some people have that makes them enough I don’t got. Most of the time that’s okay, since I do have a few people who are very GGG mush-wise. But sometimes it just makes me feel yuck. I’m thinking maybe even this time it’s mostly timing, and this is a hormonal thing. And I think the real problem is that i probably don’t speak up enough, which really is a me problem.
I feel like I suck, even though I know I suck less than a lot of other people, and that nobody I like thinks I suck. And that the latest twist is totally unintentional (that is somewhat part of the problem). I just need to deal. I’m not quite ready to bail. But it’s a real bummer.
It should be easy. Bug people. Demand things. Maybe throw a fit every once in awhile, since that certainly seems to work now and then. But I can’t. You’d think out of many decades of wearing big girl pants including in mushdom I’d have this down by now.
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@mietze Sorry to hear that. Cause what you described is something I’ve felt before.
I know it is nice to think that if we do the right thing and put our best foot forward that everything should turn out well (or better). But unfortunately in this hobby, that definitely is not the case. Someone usually ends up finding a way to make us feel like crap or steal our joy.
But that’s just some of the people in this community. There are plenty of good and awesome people who we can enjoy. We just have to try to ignore the bad ones and focus on the good. I know its easier said than done, but that’s all we’ve got.
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I just want a place to play my Changeling, damnit.
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@Herja This is /not/ an RDI Alum t-shirt.
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No matter what I intend in CG, all of my characters end up snarky and morbid.
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I wish I could get into something. There are several games that are, theoretically, up my alley, run by people I like who do things I enjoy.
But just can’t muster the energy. I feel bad, because I want to play with people and I have fun. But just nothing sticks to me right now. Hoping that if I don’t force it, I’ll rediscover my mojo at some point.
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@Pyrephox I would advise you not to force it, as someone who’s been in this position for a number things (although my depression tends to help a bit here). Point being, I was trying to force my enjoyment of games (not just MU*s, any games), and I ended up becoming increasingly dissatisfied. Months passed of this and I eventually got tired of that feeling and took the plunge to step away.
About two weeks ago I suddenly had the urge to restart one and it’s enjoyable again. Because I’m not forcing myself to sit down and do it; that’s for schoolwork.
On a MU* note, I’d all but quit from lack of drive. I wasn’t planning to start any new characters or anything, but one day virtually out of nowhere a character concept dropped into my head, latched on like a barnacle, and I find myself excited to take him for a spin when the time comes.
But again, it wasn’t because “Oh I HAVE to do this”; it’s because I let it come to me. Did I want to play games and other MU*'s while feeling in a slump? Yes. But forcing myself into something to try and enjoy it felt like work, and that’s completely counter to the idea that it’s for fun.
So yeah. Give yourself permission to take those steps away and if it comes back to you and excites you again, yay!
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@dvoraen Agreed. Don’t try to force it. If you try to MUSH without the passion within yourself, it’s going to become a chore.
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@Pyrephox I feel this. I’m at the point where I would like to get into a game again, but just watching for a game that actually speaks to my interests. I tried two in the past few months but didn’t click with either. I keep giving it a shot by at least going through CGen and testing the waters by getting on Guest and asking questions.
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@Pyrephox I was thinking about you/this last night (hence the random DM).
This whole hobby requires inspiration. When you have none, it’s just spinning your wheels.
Whether you get your mojo back by stepping away till you can gain traction or by ramming on the gas and digging your way out, it always feels like a chore to find your muse in the muck.
I’ve had success myself both taking a break for a while, and just finding someplace I’d call “cheap RP” - a character I’m not deeply invested in on a game I could walk away from - and pushing through till I found something worth playing.
Either way, I do hope you find your mojo. You’re always
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I took five years off from MU. I came back. Now I’m on the fence, but I’m still here!
Even if you don’t play, we are still your community and here to talk with and reach out to. Also, if it’s your depression - remember our brains are awesome, but they like to lie to us.
In closing - Be kind (to yourself and others)
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@RightMeow said in MU Peeves Thread:
Be kind (to yourself
Mental illness says no. Must commit to things that I can’t commit to and then feel bad about being unable to commit even though everyone’s really understanding about my inability to commit.
He/Him. Opinions and views are solely my own unless specifically stated otherwise.
BE AN ADULT -
Get the hell out of my head
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@Pavel I am very creeped out by this GIF for some reason.
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@dvoraen
We all live on a Yellow Submarine! -
I would really love to know why my work VPN has no issue going to sites for Ares based games…so long as the http address has a .aresmush.com in the command prompt line.
And any other Ares site address that doesn’t use that my work VPN is like “OH SHIT, THAT IS A DANGEROUS SITE DON’T GO TO IT”.
I’m partly being sarcastic in this statement and I’m partly annoyed because I honestly don’t know what difference that makes.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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Lol, my work is the opposite! If it has aresmush in the name it is an evil games link, but not? Totally cool.
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@junipersky Well, now I’m even more confused.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
