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MU Peeves Thread
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@Pavel I insist on maintaining my personal indenting style just because of how many people forget/refuse to indicate in the text whose pose it is, so in case I ever forget, at least you’ll have that indicator.
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Not really a peeve with MU*ers, a peeve with myself, when occasionally someone is posting meta-dialogue as narration (I don’t deeply mind this, if your writing style is your writing style go nuts) in poses.
And I’ll somehow misinterpret it as dialogue because my brain is a plate of scrambled fucking eggs and respond to it conversationally.
And then somebody will catch it a few rounds later and I feel like a complete dumbass.
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@Pavel said in MU Peeves Thread:
I have an unrelated MU peeve!
If everyone’s indenting their poses, indent yer feckin’ pose to match it. If nobody’s indenting their poses, don’t indent yours.
This is absolutely just peeve territory, not a serious demand, but c’mon. It looks nicer.
Absolutely not. I don’t indent in poses.
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@Roz Gross.
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@Pavel NEVER
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Sometimes the concept of inclusivity as a virtue is my peeve.
It’s OK to have a preferred writing style, and to prefer writing with people whose writing style is compatible with yours.
I personally don’t try to match the way I write to anyone else. I write the way I like to write, the way that makes me happy. If it seems like no one else on the game is vibing that style, I leave. If some people vibe it and others don’t, I play with the ones that do.
My RP partners don’t need to write in a style identical to mine, because I can appreciate a variety. But if we’re wildly mismatched on pace, length or ethos, I don’t think it’s a virtue to force it. It doesn’t mean either party is bad, it just means play with people who spark joy, for whom you spark joy in return.
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@Kestrel said in MU Peeves Thread:
it just means play with people who spark joy, for whom you spark joy in return.
And that’s why I play with myself.
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@Kestrel said in MU Peeves Thread:
Sometimes the concept of inclusivity as a virtue is my peeve.
It’s OK to have a preferred writing style, and to prefer writing with people whose writing style is compatible with yours.
yes but also i’m gonna hunt down @Pavel and aggressively not indent my poses at him
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My MU peeve is that I want to try a new game to jump start my creativity. However, I’ve found that I’m (a) leery of games now (b) don’t like having to establish myself in a game culture that I think I won’t be accepted in
think I should put that effort in my current game (d) A little bit of b here thinking no one wants to RP with me (e) I feel tired just thinking about it.It’s all on me, but goodness it annoys me. Self peeve.
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Who the fuck is indenting poses?
Joke outrage, but I didn’t know this was a thing.
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@Juniper said in MU Peeves Thread:
Who the fuck is indenting poses?
Joke outrage, but I didn’t know this was a thing.
Sorry, that async conversation ended eight hours before you joined, so we’re going to ignore your desire to contribute.
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This is something I’ve noticed in the last few days after talking to various friends within the hobby. And that is the getting over the ‘sunken cost fallacy’ regarding their involvement with mushes that prevents them from moving onto something else that might make them happier.
I think this is a general sentiment among a great number of folks, and not just indicated in exclusivity with mushes, so this could just as easily be a RL Peeve too. At least three conversations I’ve had this week have been from how they are unhappy with the game their on, but haven’t decided to cut their losses. To note, this is not regarding the same game, but three different ones. I tried asking why they still stayed and almost always the answer is usually something revolving around ‘I still have friends here’ or ‘I’ve put a lot of time into it’ or ‘I don’t like giving up’ to name a couple things I’ve heard. All valid responses, but I suppose my usually thought is if that fact overrides how unhappy you seem when you(general you) talk about it. And well, I get that so hard. I think it just sucks because they’re my friend seeing them unhappy in a hobby that I know they enjoy.
Speaking for myself, I know I’ve used all those reasons myself as an explanation to stay on a game. But I was still relatively unhappy until I realized I was logging in more because I enjoyed talking to people than actually doing anything on the game itself, so I sought more that social element than playing. It took a long time to just move on and find another game to try. I also think there may be some kind of stigma still about leaving a game. Or at least, maybe a self-perceived stigma that isn’t actually there. I dunno, just something I had been thinking about this morning.
I don't know what I'm doing. Poke at Seven Nations sevennations.aresmush.com port 2021
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@Testament I have a personal rule. If I find that a game is making me consistently unhappy or frustrated to log into, then I take a few days break. If at the end of those few days I haven’t missed logging on then that’s the end of my time on that game.
Life is too short to do something for a hobby that you don’t find more fun than not.
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
I tried asking why they still stayed and almost always the answer is usually something revolving around ‘I still have friends here’ or ‘I’ve put a lot of time into it’ or ‘I don’t like giving up’ to name a couple things I’ve heard.
A big one for me aside from most definitely feeling like it was a shame to just walk away from a place I had put so much time and effort into was that it was essentially the only game in town, and that’s something I heard more than once from others as well.
But like, that was also a fallacy. MU*dom is such a tiny corner of the larger RP hobby, and it’s easy to forget that p. much a bajillion other formats exist that not only will very likely scratch that itch if you just give them a chance, but might even come to be more enjoyable in some ways.
Again, all that frustration is guaranteed not to be worth it!
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@Pyrephox Excellent advice, and a much more reasonable benchmark than my current ‘sobbing in the bathtub’ one
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@Wizz said in MU Peeves Thread:
But like, that was also a fallacy. MU*dom is such a tiny corner of the larger RP hobby, and it’s easy to forget that p. much a bajillion other formats exist that not only will very likely scratch that itch if you just give them a chance, but might even come to be more enjoyable in some ways.
It can also be really nice to step back for a bit and remember why you enjoy it. The grinding away when it’s not is what makes it unfun sometimes. I’m winding down a break of a handful of months that I feel like has been pretty energizing (maybe, we’ll see).
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I don’t think it’s wrong to log in primarily because you want to maintain social contacts with the people you enjoy the company of. I don’t find that shameful at all! Like, we do have alternative means of ooc chat (I’m better about discord these days!) but not everyone is comfortable with giving access to other communication platforms, ect.
I also think it’s okay if someone’s venting is stressing YOU out or putting you into problem solving mode, that you can tell them that. Or maybe that it might be better if you guys chatted more about game stuff. Or that you primarily chatted about game stuff. I have in the past had a very high tolerance for venting where it really didn’t affect me much. In the last several months I have to be a little more careful about that now, depending on how close I am to that person.
I also think that sometimes it’s more stressful hearing someone tell you how much they hate things/don’t have fun/nothing is working/ect. when you’re waiting on/engaged with them a lot in the IC side of things too. For me that can be a trigger for distress because like then I worry if I’m not doing enough or conversely, I can see that it’s not me at all, it’s just that what they actually /want/ from the game isn’t really what I can do. Which I totally get! But it can kind of be a twinge to the feels/feel like rejection and I feel very much that I’ve got to stay on top of keeping that feeling a ME problem (in the sense that it’s not their problem when they’re just being honest, they’re not actually rejecting me at all, and they are in no way blaming me for their down feelings about the game because again, it’s over things I don’t have control over! But I am human too and even though I KNOW better, sometimes it’s hard to not slip into the rejected feeling.)
And you know, I’ve been on the other side, a lot. Thankfully I have better friends than I deserve and plenty over the years have said “I
you and I’m sorry you’re having a hard time but I can’t take that on–it feels like you want me to solve stuff? Is that really the case, or do you just need someone to vent to? Vent away about X,Y,Z but Q is a little too close to home.”But in my experience, both in seeing friends go through it and going through it myself, is that it’s almost always NEVER really about the game. Leaving that game isn’t going to help the rut they’re feeling they’re in, especially if they don’t have anywhere else to go. It won’t help the stress of feeling disconnected (unless they find people go to with, probably, but maybe they’re not yet at the stage to ask). They may actually have a very accurate assessment of how much energy they have to actually make things happen elsewhere/on current game, and WISH they could or it would fall into their lap but they know they don’t, so staying where they can still chat with their peeps and tread water is where they should be.
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
I don’t think it’s wrong to log in primarily because you want to maintain social contacts with the people you enjoy the company of.
This. We have a few players who, well, frankly don’t actually play. They’re active participants in the community all the same, just not in the classic sense. Nothing wrong with that.
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@Wizz said in MU Peeves Thread:
MU*dom is such a tiny corner of the larger RP hobby, and it’s easy to forget that p. much a bajillion other formats exist that not only will very likely scratch that itch if you just give them a chance, but might even come to be more enjoyable in some ways.
I’ve had to admit to myself repeatedly, and honestly as recently as this week, that I don’t actually want to play or even run a MU*. The way prose flows in the MU* format doesn’t actually engage me and I don’t feel like I’m getting the necessary return on my time investment.
What I want is to run RPGs on a regular cadence with a reliable pool of players. My joy is in building a premise that sparks creative engagement, figuring out what players are trying to achieve with the characters they’ve created, and then delivering experiences that allow them to realize those desires in ways both expected and surprising.
I’ve tried many different formats of games over the years and MU* came closest, but I know I’m still not as into it as many are for the format itself. Maybe the exact thing that I need doesn’t yet exist.
